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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think friends are being over-senstive?

999 replies

pomadas87 · 20/02/2017 18:51

A friend (who lives abroad) messaged me and a couple of our good mutual friends - he shared happy news of his new baby and some pics. Everyone v excited and wished him congratulations!

He then said "so who's next to have a baby - she needs a playmate!" ... me and DH are newly married and are getting the question quite a lot...! Other friend said "I'm looking at you guys" (meaning me and DH)...

I then said "not for a while I'm afraid Grin why don't you have another one straightaway and you'll have Irish Twins - instant playmate!"

Meant it in a joking way and then they all called me a racist, xenophobe etc.... I didn't realise it was offensive and now I'm feeling shitty! Did they overreact to my (stupid) joke or am I just an idiot?! Confused

OP posts:
OuchLegoHurts · 21/02/2017 14:35

I'm Irish, living in Ireland, the FACT is that it's a phrase used all the time here and not offensive in the least. So all you British people getting offended on our behalf can stop, it's ok!

JaxingJump · 21/02/2017 14:50

I'm with my you Ouch.

Coulibri · 21/02/2017 14:57

It is Irish people who are pointing out that it's pejorative. Personally, I'd be asking myself some questions if I regularly spent time with people who underthought to the extent that they had never noticed they were using a pejorative expression involving their own ethnicity.

OuchLegoHurts · 21/02/2017 14:59

Well then I guess we're an easier-going nation than most...oh, hang on, we are!

InfinityPlusOne · 21/02/2017 15:02

It is Irish people who are pointing out that it's pejorative.

Some Irish people, others are saying it isn't and others again saying it might be depending on context.

Floggingmolly · 21/02/2017 15:29

Not being professionally offended does not equate with being an "under thinker", Coulibri

JaxingJump · 21/02/2017 15:35

Exactly Flogging.

It's a very interesting thing really. I don't feel offended as I'm proud to be Irish, proud of being from the nation who 'invented' Irish twins, would personally love to have them myself and critically, have never ever felt discriminated against for being Irish. So it would take quite an effort for me to drum up some 'offended' about the term.

There must be a point when the discrimination not only doesn't exist but is completely forgotten about and irrelevant to the term anymore.

Willyoujustbequiet · 21/02/2017 15:50

Well my family and friends arent offended by it and will continue to use it to refer to family members.

Thanks for the faux outrage on our behalf but its really not necessary. Op I'd suggest you get some less precious friends.

Only on MN

MadMags · 21/02/2017 15:50

I have been one of the Irish people saying I don't find it offensive.

However, I'm also one of the people who've never lived somewhere where I've been continually subjected to "jokes" and "banter" about being Irish.

So, I wouldn't be so presumptuous as to think that people who are offended by it are wrong and need to chill out.

I'm not that arrogant...

OneWithTheForce · 21/02/2017 16:52

Thanks for the faux outrage on our behalf but its really not necessary.

Who are you talking to in this post?

Happy101415 · 21/02/2017 16:58

this is a very common and well known phrase in ireland ! iv never met anybody to be offended by it and some people actuly love to say i have "irish twins" about children born close together ..it originates from years ago when irish families were very large and children were born literally year after year ..nothing offensive about ireland or its race in anyway !!Grin

ChocolateFuzz · 21/02/2017 17:02

I'm irish and no it's not offensive, it's just a quick way of describing how far apart two siblings were born.

InfinityPlusOne · 21/02/2017 17:16

I'd presume it was aimed at Coulibri One who isn't Irish and who has referred to Irish people who aren't offended by the phrase as 'under thinkers'. No room for a diversity in opinion there clearly.

InfinityPlusOne · 21/02/2017 17:20

Actually I apologise I've confused Coulibri with a different poster so I think you are Irish? I still think, however, it's unfair to call those not taking offence under thinkers.

Catlady1976 · 21/02/2017 17:52

I think someone is right to say that Irish people living in Ireland are unlikely to be offended and be happy to use the term.
If, however you moved to England to work the land during the 2nd world war and witnessed the dreadful prejudice." No blacks or Irish here " etc or descend from such a person you may feel different.
Plus it is easy to be self deprecating towards your own ethic group.. My favourite priest is Irish and has told some Fab Irish jokes.

Gabilan · 21/02/2017 18:50

If, however you moved to England to work the land during the 2nd world war and witnessed the dreadful prejudice." No blacks or Irish here " etc or descend from such a person you may feel different

I'm English and grew up in the 1970s/ 80s listening to "jokes" along the lines of "an Irishman walked into a bar and said something very stupid". Then I spent some time as a historian reading eugenics texts by doctors and men of science who were convinced that the Irish were a "savage" race. So it's not a term I would use.

It's not that I'm offended by it but I can well see why someone would be. If someone Irish said it I wouldn't say anything. If someone English said it I might ask what they meant by it.

ConferencePear · 21/02/2017 19:11

Then I spent some time as a historian reading eugenics texts by doctors and men of science who were convinced that the Irish were a "savage" race. So it's not a term I would use.

I had no idea this happened please could you post a couple of titles ?
I've read a lot of history, but this is a definite gap in my education.

dingdongthewitchisdead1 · 21/02/2017 19:16

As an Irish catholic who is in fact an Irish twin, no of course yanbu! Racist and xenophobic... they need to catch a grip!!!!

Gabilan · 21/02/2017 19:22

Conference it was a while back so I'd have to dig around for specific references. It was a fairly common idea - I'd come across casual references in the BMJ for example. Off the top of my head though I'd try CE Russett's Sexual Science: The Victorian Constuction of Womanhood. She deals with the evolutionary science and the linkage between gender and race. Can't remember if she specifically mentions the Irish but it's a good place to start.

OneWithTheForce · 21/02/2017 19:34

"who is in fact an Irish twin"

Funny use of the word 'fact'

Gwenhwyfar · 21/02/2017 19:39

"If, however you moved to England to work the land during the 2nd world war and witnessed the dreadful prejudice."

How likely is that the OP's friends are so old that they moved from Ireland to England during the Second World War?

Gabilan · 21/02/2017 19:45

Gwen, to finish that quote "If, however you moved to England to work the land during the 2nd world war and witnessed the dreadful prejudice." No blacks or Irish here " etc or descend from such a person you may feel different."

Who knows exactly why the OP's friends were offended. Texts lack tone. Maybe they were having an off day. Maybe they've been on the receiving end of a few too many jokes in which the Irish man is the stupid one.

Gwenhwyfar · 21/02/2017 19:48

"Well, no because at least half the Irish people posting on the thread have said they don't find it offensive.

And I was one of them Gwen.

However, the thread did actually move on. In case you didn't notice..."

What do you mean the thread moved on? The thread is still about whether it's an offensive phrase or not, isn't it?

Gwenhwyfar · 21/02/2017 19:51

"It's "welching" on a bet, not Welshing. Completely different etymology."

No, same etymology, just different spelling.

As a Welsh person it's not something that offends me in the slightest as I don't think the connection is made when people use it in speech.

Rainatnight · 21/02/2017 19:53

I'm Irish and not remotely offended by that. I use it too, as a saying, knowing it doesn't at all reflect modern Ireland with access to contraception (!) etc.

YANBU

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