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Original poster

To wonder why my 14 year old is unable to....

82 replies

tovelitime · 20/02/2017 07:49

Put any of his dirty clothes in the washing basket in his bedroom but can only put his dirty pants and socks next to the said basket. It drives me utterly insane and when I mention it to him he looks at me like I'm utterly insane.

OP posts:
ravenmum · 20/02/2017 09:38

I will pick up the odd cup left on a table and put it in the dishwasher, as will the kids if I forget one, but I won't clear up the kitchen after they've made snacks for themselves, any more than they would for me. To me, having to pick up someone else's dirty underpants from the floor also falls into the realms of "asking too much" rather than "so minor it would be petty not to".

brasty · 20/02/2017 09:46

Agree that you only wash what is in the basket, and refuse to do any urgent washing, he will start putting it in the basket. So if it is by the basket, but not in it, then it isnt washed.
Natural consequences can work much better than constantly telling him not to do it.

DoloresVanCartier · 20/02/2017 09:47

I want to know why my 13 yo DS can't lift the toilet seat up to have a pee and does it on the seat, again this morning I sat in it (and lost the plot with him about laziness and no respect for others) but I know it won't have any effect. I was furious !!

ArriettyClock1 · 20/02/2017 09:49

My 14 year old dumps his clothes on the floor.

Back to school this am after half term, I realised his school trousers have spent over a week dumped on the floor and he didn't even have a clean pair.

He'll happily put on a load of washing, in fact he did several over half term. But he didn't think about the stuff festering on his bedroom floor!

omnishamblesssssssssssssss · 20/02/2017 09:49

I think there has to be a natural consequence for choosing to pee on loo seats. I.e.) you don't do something important for me - so I won't do something important for you. Cook tea maybe or drive him to his friends

nokidshere · 20/02/2017 09:59

If it's in the basket it gets washed here, I don't go looking for clothes. There was a point when they were about 14/15 when they really didn't care and they went out crumpled and probably smelly a few times.

Now they are 16 & 18 it's not an issue, they bring stuff down and even occasionally switch the machine on without being asked.

onesizefitsonesize · 20/02/2017 10:03

Hopefully this will happen:

fairweathercyclist · 20/02/2017 10:08

A 14 year old should be doing his own washing

I'd rather all the washing goes in together (obviously not darks with lights). It's not very eco-friendly to do different loads for each member of the family.

picklemepopcorn · 20/02/2017 10:19

My sons each do a load each week. All their clothes go in together because they don't have anything light or synthetic. There is a white synthetic gym shirt, but it goes in at 30 degrees with everything else and looks ok so far.

I sort mine and DHs because he has light shirts and I wear synthetics.

Always full loads- we have enough clothes not to do half loads.

I can't believe a teenaged boy doesn't generate a full load of washing a week... Or wears delicate clothes that need careful sorting.

picklemepopcorn · 20/02/2017 10:19

I cannot tell you how much time it saves sorting washing, as well! No more working out whose socks are whose!

ArcheryAnnie · 20/02/2017 10:20

fairweathercyclist but it isn't either/or. My DS does the washing, as do I, when there's a full load to be done. He puts my clothes in to make up a full wash, and I do the same for him. It's turn and turn about, not a strict division.

mumontherun14 · 20/02/2017 10:28

Lol my son is the same, would happily live in dirty chlothes and a messy room - quite unconcerned by it.....until he has lost something in the mess and can't find it.....I am trying to train him too with mixed results.....trying to link it to pocket money to see if that will help x

ravenmum · 20/02/2017 10:48

I can't believe a teenaged boy doesn't generate a full load of washing a week... Or wears delicate clothes that need careful sorting.
It's not just delicates that need sorting. For example, I put pants in the hot wash as it's more hygienic. Black clothes will make light clothes look grey if they go in together. White clothes come out best if washed separately. And woollens can't go in the 40°C wash with a fast spin. My son has woollens, black clothes, light clothes, white clothes and indeed pants. Sure, when he lives alone he won't be able to separate as carefully, but until then, why not wash separately and save money on new clothes?

Dancergirl · 20/02/2017 10:56

I can't believe a teenaged boy doesn't generate a full load of washing a week

I have teen girls, their washing is a mix of darks/white/delicates (e.g. some knitwear, wool school jumpers, underwired bras). Dd2 will tend to over-wash and put a skirt she has worn once in the wash. We have a 3-section washing basket on the landing - one for whites, one for darks, one for delicates. Whole family puts their washing in there and when a section is full I wash it. Dd1's room is usually a tip like most teens, sometimes I pick up the odd bit of washing for her because we are a family and do nice things for each other. It's give and take - she regularly looks after dd1 when I need and is very good with her, and she's generally a very nice and pleasant teen who works hard at school and is no trouble. There are seriously far worse things to worry about than the odd bit of washing left on the floor.

GinIsIn · 20/02/2017 10:59

My DF had the magic cure for this. Dirty laundry on the floor? It goes in your bed. Dirty cups and plates left in the playroom? They go in your bed. Wet towels on the bathroom floor? In your bed.

Didn't take any of us very long to get the hang of clearing up after ourselves! Grin

Collywobbles1984 · 20/02/2017 10:59

My DD (13) started getting lazy with her washing about a year ago . She had a month of me nagging her, and then I got bored of listening to myself and told her to do her own washing. So if she doesn't pick it up from her bedroom floor now, she has no clean clothes! I went into her bedroom this morning, 2 dirty towels on the floor, I just turned around and left them there. When she demands that she must have a bath later on because her hair is disgusting, she'll be told to not even think of getting clean ones from the cupboard until she gets those ones washed! Grin Bad Mummy!

maddiemookins16mum · 20/02/2017 11:25

It's not just boys either. The thing is, as long as his mum continues to pick them up*, he'll continue to leave them (I speak from experience with a 12 year old DD who recently went through a slovenly stage).

  • this does make you a bad mum either and certainly I am not holier than thou.
howabout · 20/02/2017 11:30

My messy DD2 is in charge of hoovering the room she shares with her 2 sisters. Very difficult to hoover with dirty laundry all over the floor so this covers lots of bases. Smile

Getting the 3 of them or DH to use the washing machine always leads to consternation unfortunately.

BertrandRussell · 20/02/2017 11:33

"I want to know why my 13 yo DS can't lift the toilet seat up to have a pee and does it on the seat, again this morning I sat in it (and lost the plot with him about laziness and no respect for others) but I know it won't have any effect. I was furious !!"

What does his dad do?

ArriettyClock1 · 20/02/2017 11:57

This is why my house rule (for residents) is sit down to pee.

MrsJayy · 20/02/2017 12:20

I dont mind doing washing that is in the basket however if it is not there then tough. I cured my dds laziness by making them do there own loads of washing as it had gathered in their room festering I thought bugger that it took them 6 washes and dryings but they never did it again.

DoloresVanCartier · 20/02/2017 19:42

Bertrand if I recall correctly his dad lifts the seat. DP sits down to pee and only uses the ensuite. Thing is it's the main bathroom DS uses so if I don't check then I can have guests going up to a piss covered seat.
I've said time and time again how disrespectful and lazy it is but he just says he won't do it again. I know it's a first world problem but I was on the verge of swearing at him this morning, it's every bloody day!!
I think I'll take a pp point of refusing to do something for him if he doesn't start paying a bit more attention.

ravenmum · 21/02/2017 05:56

Simple trick re the seat lifting but worth a try if you don't already: always put the lid down. That way the next user has to lift the lid so might as well lift the seat with it.

IAmNotAWitch · 21/02/2017 06:24

There are two laundry baskets here. One in the downstairs laundry and one upstairs on the landing.

If it isn't in either of those it doesn't get washed. If I find stuff around the place I throw it into their room.

If their rooms aren't tidy when the cleaner comes, their rooms don't get cleaned. Which means no washing put away (my fantastic saber puts our washing away).

We have a pretty sweet set up here. I make sure they appreciate it.

Therealyellowwiggle · 21/02/2017 06:46

Ravenmum I will try that today! My dh and ds blame each other when I find a pee covered seat. I doubt there's a solution short of divorce, I feel I've tried everything else Sad

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