I am stunned at this wedding list

[Bananaknickers]

Family member is getting married for the second time. She pinched her husband to be from his first wife( she was married too).He has his own business and she works full time. Now they have sent us a list from John Lewis if we want to buy something from there although they say we have lots already. Here's the good bit, they would like cash donations as they are building an extention on the side of their house

I wish I could get married again

I could do with a new duvet

I think second weddings you should ask or expect presents

You should REALLY discourage it

People are really thinking "Well where's the fecking Portmeiron soup tureen I bought you in 1997?"

PMSL at teabags for the builders, I would be very tempted to do that

NOT - I missed that out

i don't see why people getting married for the second time shouldn't have presents. i've been married twice - the first time when very young and dh1 was a good man but we drifted apart. a few years ago i got married again. it was his first wedding and his family couldn't care less that i'd been married before. we had a list and were very surprised - we got everything we asked for !

i find some of these posts quite offensive. a second marriage is not any less of a celebration than a first and sadly many middle aged and older people are still not rich

Money for the extension is just taking the piss really.

I've been with D 10 years and we might get married next year.
Can I not ask for loads of lovely things from Heals then no????
That was one of my main reasons to agreeing to have to go through withthe whole weddign day thing!

Grannycrackers Didn't you feel a tad RUDE accepting expensive presents AGAIN from your friends?

Yes, yes, but what on earth are 'grannycrackers'? Are they a form of fetish underwear?

Is this the general concensous re; money for a wedding ?

BIL is asking for money as they want it for a deposit for a house - god knows how much they are expexcting to get and if I know them half as well as I think I do, it will get blown on shite long before a house is ever on the cards.

Utterly greedy.

But then I think serious wedding lists for anyone other than those who are young and / or leaving home and setting up house for the first time together is greedy these days. Most people marrying already have a home and all it's trappings. Little celebratory gifts are fine and lovely, it might be nice for v close family members to contribute to a big item - dinner set, for e.g, but otherwise, why buy financially independent adults domestic goods?

I know Cappuccino - although happily married it is only with the benfit of hindsight that I realise I should have asked for a goosedown duvet .

What is RUDE is the assumption/obligation that people will spend LOTS OF MONEY just because it is a wedding

I RESENT that

unbelievable about the extension!

i think the thing with second marriages is that you've already invested in the first mariage and they ballsed it up so having a list for a second marriage is cheeky. i would still buy a friend a present, but it might very well be an oxfam goat.

Yes or something they can easily divide in two

Bookends

IMO I think a good structured wedding list is not a problem...with all different price ranges...obviously closer family members buy the more expensive items...or what they can afford..
Asking money for an extension is rude

Blu you are ABSOLUTELY right

We had a gift list as JL for our wedding last July and i absolutely hated sending out those little cards with the invitations. I struggled with it for weeks before DH and I decided we would add a little note in just saying that we do not expect anybody to buy us gifts but if they would like to and there were stuck for idea's then some options were available through JL.

Absolutely hated it and found the whole thing really cringeworthy - we got some lovely gifts and not all were from JL

mp how cranky are you today?

my mum remarried after many years alone (dad was a twunt) and why should she have been ashamed about wedding presents when marrying the love of her life?

she didn't get most of her wedding presents back to start with cos they 'disappeared' plus she wanted to have some things that were hers and dsf's to start afresh

and maybe there's a difference between what you think of as wedding presents. Having googled your soup tureen and finding it coming in at a bargain £165, I'd like to point out that some of us get wedding presents costing £20-£25 each guest and are bloody well grateful for them as well

My gosh, that post was awful ! I applaud you if you managed to make sense out of it

about price of soup tureen - that was just plucked out of the air

I would DEFFO be annoyed if she'd bunged that out with her first hubby

We got an oven glove as one of our gifts and I love it, it's really funky

I saw a loo seat on wedding list once

Friend of mine did a themed'list' - said if you want to buy something, get something white, or if not donate to charity. She got some nice white sheets, china etc plus jokey bits too.

I resent that too and I was always cautious about peoples spending just on my wedding, I didnt want to have it on an estate 50 miles away from home cause then there was the problem with driving/drinking and generally having fun and I didnt want a hen night that consisted of three weeks in Maurituius and expect people to pay up for it.