I am stunned at this wedding list

[Bananaknickers]

Family member is getting married for the second time. She pinched her husband to be from his first wife( she was married too).He has his own business and she works full time. Now they have sent us a list from John Lewis if we want to buy something from there although they say we have lots already. Here's the good bit, they would like cash donations as they are building an extention on the side of their house

tell them to f* off

That's just terrible TERRIBLE manners

Second marriages really SHOULDN'T have wedding lists - it is very very vulgar

Vulgar

F Off - I would tell them to shove it. By cash donations would you be able to give them Primark vouchers
I HATE WEDDING LISTS

Oh, yuck.

And here's a contrast for how it should be done - friend's first husband died suddenly in his 30s Happily, she now has new partner and baby and they are getting married - 'no presents, but you might like to donate to a charity close to your heart'.

no you are not being unreasonable. Given the fact that she has already (presumably) had a weddding present from you the first time round, and the circumstances surrounding this wedding, I would give something very modest, and certainly not donate cash.

Get them vouchers for something they can't use on the extension! What a bloody nerve!

I wouldn't call it vulgar, just mean, grasping and selfish.

So what about if dp and I get married, would it be considered vulgar for us to recieve wedding presents because he has been married before?

buy em a bag of sand and cement

A gift wrapped brick - as a donation for the extension?

carmenere absolutely not - as long as you get complete mn approval on all the items on it

no lead crystal

buy them some tea bags for the builders

greedy baggages

carmenere, just don't have a list

I am not against wedding lists....I got married second time round and did not have a list...we got money, vouchers and some lovely gifts...I would not dictate though what I expext people to spend money on...I find that attitude vulgar

Carmenere of course not

I love the wrap up a brick idea

It's not the receiving of presents that's vulgar, it's the asking for them!

I think wedding lists are generally a good thing unless you want people to buy you a load of stuff you don't want

but a nice wedding list with a range of differently priced gifts on it is different to asking people to buy you a house

I can't see why people are so against wedding lists. A lot of people want to buy a gift for the newlyweds. Why can't they have the pleasure of knowing it's something they want and they aren't going to throw it in the bin?

greedy and I agree with the vulgar. Get her a card and put a link to this thread in it.

PhewOh no I won't have a list, we don't need lots of stuff from John Lewis. In fact I think it would be nice to get married abroad(Europe) and folks could pay for their flights instead of presents. Quite honestly why should friends pay for middleaged friends to have posh crockery. Much better to spend the dosh on having a fab party in the sun imo.

I've got some friends who are getting married after squillions of years together and they are thinking well, we've had these £5 pans for ages, and we have these fraying bedsheets that we bought in the early 1990s...

just cos you're not 25 doesn't mean you can't have nice stuff

Oh there is that I suppose, I mean I would like nice things but I just don't expect to get them from getting married. It will be a bonus if I do get any nice gifts. And if I do get married ..........................

I think it is the asking for cash for their extention that shocked me really.