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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be worried that my LL is physically hurting my dog

56 replies

user1483971196 · 16/02/2017 14:55

I have posted about my LL before. Unfortunately I am still living with her. Last night she was sitting and the sofa, when my dog sat next to her on the floor, leaning slightly on to her legs affectionately. She purposely moved her legs suddenly so he fell to the floor, and said 'I hate it when they lean'. He stayed nearby, and a minute or so later she said 'right, go away now' and suddenly pushed him, really hard away from her, so much so that he crashed head first into the corner of a piece of furniture. She didn't seem upset or embarrassed that I had witnessed this. I don't know if I am over reacting.. I don't believe she meant to push him into the furniture, but I can't see that the action wasn't meant to be cruel and aggressive. She has always seemed a bit 'off' with him, silly things like she pats him really hard, like she enjoys hurting him while being able to pretend she is being nice to him. He's genuinely a good, very quiet and sensible dog, and is in my room 99% of the time when I'm not walking him. She had her dog put down recently and I know has a lot of unspecified emotional issues. Anyway I'm just worried I'm over reacting, and if it's nothing I don't want to cause issues over it. My dog is my priority and if my instincts are correct, then of course I will make sure he is out of harms way

OP posts:
DJBaggySmalls · 16/02/2017 14:56

Shes under the radar abusive, and I'd be worried about both of you.

WasabiNell · 16/02/2017 14:57

She sounds horrible Shock. Is she ever left alone with your dog? Does he seem scared of her and flinch when she raises her hand to pat him?

Original poster
user1483971196 · 16/02/2017 14:57

This probably seems like a silly thing to ask opinions about. But I find it hard to trust my own judgement, so I hope you all don't mind me asking advice. I've had some very kind responses before when I've posted about other matters. Thank you

OP posts:
HunterHearstHelmsley · 16/02/2017 14:58

Keep him away from her. Try to be subtle but if the he's trying to talk to her then call him away.

Original poster
user1483971196 · 16/02/2017 14:58

She has recently been left alone with him, and when I come home he is always tucked up in my room. In a ball, whereas when he is relaxed he stretches out. It seems silly now I am putting two and two together. I just didn't want to over react

OP posts:
Silverthorn · 16/02/2017 15:00

Can you set up a camera in your room?

WasabiNell · 16/02/2017 15:02

You're not overreacting. Do you have to leave him with her or could he go to a family/ friends when you're out? Is it an option to move out? She sounds awful tbf and I wouldn't want to live with her.

Original poster
user1483971196 · 16/02/2017 15:02

I have noticed that he is skittish around her.
Yes I always have my laptop left on so could leave that recording. Perhaps it would be better to just leave him locked in my room to make sure he is safe

OP posts:
Original poster
user1483971196 · 16/02/2017 15:03

I can lock him in my room, but that's all I can really do. Family is over 15 miles away.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1483971196 · 16/02/2017 15:04

Yes moving out is an option, I am messaging another LL today who is happy for me to bring him

OP posts:
Rugbyplayersarehot · 16/02/2017 15:08

Move out and meanwhile lock him in the room. I hate her on your behalf I hate bullies

StarryIllusion · 16/02/2017 15:12

Cunt. Piss on her toothbrush before you leave. Can't stand people who are cruel to animals. If she did that to my dog, I'd break her fingers.

TheViceOfReason · 16/02/2017 15:13

I'm surprised that you need to ask.

I'm also pretty shocked you didn't make anything of it there and then? Even if you don't want to call he ron it directly then at least - for your dogs sake - make a fuss "oh poor boy, let me see your head" and to her "there's no need to push him".

For the love of god do NOT leave him alone with her. The next obvious step is that he will stick up for himself as you don't appear to be and then she will be pushing for him to be put down.

Please protect your dog.

If you lock him in your room say "landlady, i'm leaving dog shut in my room and am watching him via webcam in case he gets upset"

OneWithTheForce · 16/02/2017 15:17

Shock what did you say when she did that?? I would have been losing my shit and probably been getting evicted.

Original poster
user1483971196 · 16/02/2017 15:23

I did explain I needed to ask as I don't trust my own judgement. I've come from an abusive home situation and I have still not healed. When you are told time and time again you imagine things, and are over sensitive, then you believe it. I didn't say anything last night, but I have messaged her today saying in no uncertain terms that she is not to touch him again. I am protecting my dog by asking what to do. And I have since not let him out of my sight.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1483971196 · 16/02/2017 15:26

I cannot risk being evicted as I am a lodger and could be made to leave with no notice whatsoever, and the only place I have to go is back to the situation I left. I am trying to be sensible but also protect him as a priority of course. But being homeless will not help either of us. So I didn't want to rush to attack when I wasn't sure if I was over reacting or not

OP posts:
hungryhippo90 · 16/02/2017 15:28

What a cunt! I'd get the dog to lick her toothbrush and soak her wash flannel in piss. But that's just me. Can't abide people who are nasty to animals.

OneWithTheForce · 16/02/2017 15:28

Yeah I get that. I'm a hot head, wasn't saying that's what you should have done, just probably what it have done in my knee jerk state if that makes sense. What you're doing is sensible. Really hope you can get away soon.

Greenfingeredfun · 16/02/2017 15:29

What's an LL?

hungryhippo90 · 16/02/2017 15:29

i can understand why you are approaching this the way you are.
Keep your dog out of her way, at all costs. Take him wherever you go and move as soon as possible.

Original poster
user1483971196 · 16/02/2017 15:31

Sorry Onewiththeforce, I was reacting to TheViceOfReason, and also responded to your comment too. Didn't mean to be defensive to you. I agree with what you said. And thanks for the support

OP posts:
Collaborate · 16/02/2017 15:38

FFS don't say that you've posted about your LL before and expect anyone to recall if you can't be bothered to get a username that anyone can stand a chance of remembering.

nachogazpacho · 16/02/2017 15:43

Trust your insight - you are probably highly tuned to abusive people and spot things others wouldn't. I totally understand why you'd not trust yourself as you'll have been told to ignore your senses for so long.

nachogazpacho · 16/02/2017 15:43

LL=landlady

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 16/02/2017 15:47

I cannot risk being evicted as I am a lodger and could be made to leave with no notice whatsoever

That's not true! Admittedly you're not as well protected as if it was a rental property, but you still have to be given suitable notice. Did you have any sort of agreement that you signed when you moved in?
www.lodgers.com/evicting-a-lodger.html

I would trust your gut instinct and start looking for a new place.