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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say DH is a twat and has ruined my birthday.

121 replies

furrypets · 15/02/2017 18:43

It was my birthday yesterday. The intention was we were going in town and i was going to choose something for him to get me. Before town we drove to a local beauty spot so we could walk the dog first.

i don't normally like my photo took but i thought with it being my birthday i'll give him my phone and ask him to take my picture. Just a normal everyday thing that people do right? No, he had a huge moan because he had the dog on a lead in one hand and in the other a filled dog poo bag.Wouldnt a normal person just put down the poo bag and take the picture? No not him, he made a big show of not managing to take the pic, blaming it on the "stupid phone".

I told him it's the easiest phone in the world, just press the big circle at the bottom. Nope, couldn't do it, threw my phone down in the wet grass and stormed off like a big spoiled kid.

So that was my birthday, no present (not bothered) but we're still not speaking, apart from him telling me it's my fault for asking him to take my picture.

OP posts:
Original poster
furrypets · 15/02/2017 19:53

He didn't join a social media site in order to complain though.
Isn't that one of the great things about MN though, to have a good moan when we're pissed off. Confused

OP posts:
booklooker · 15/02/2017 19:55

Some men just enjoy playing the hard done by drama queen,

Strange, I don't think I have ever heard the expression 'drama king'

Misogyny works in mysterious ways.

Original poster
furrypets · 15/02/2017 19:56

Unfortunately yes gilly it's a major fault of his, short fuse and irritability.

OP posts:
LesisMiserable · 15/02/2017 19:56

Storm and teacup springs to mind. No I don't think he is a twat. He picked the dog poo up for a start.

bunnylove99 · 15/02/2017 20:00

Happy belated birthday OP. I think you have every right to be cross. You didn't act like a princess. Your DH acted like an arse and spoiled your birthday. How long have you been together?

BertrandRussell · 15/02/2017 20:00

"I think you are equally to blame for this"

Seriously???????

Floofborksnootandboop · 15/02/2017 20:06

I think the OP is allowed to be princessy on her birthday, especially as it was Valentine's Day aswell!

Original poster
furrypets · 15/02/2017 20:09

35 years bunny

OP posts:
bodieboo · 15/02/2017 20:15

You could do a 'Godfather' but replace the horses head with a bag of dog poo.... Hmmm ensure he's in the spare room first!

user1484750550 · 15/02/2017 20:15

LOL men do like to make a big drama out of naff-all. My hubby will have a meltdown when I have taken the towel out of the bathroom (to dry my hair on for example,) and not replaced it, (it happens rarely!)

He washes his hands, and then cries out as if he is in pain because there's no towel in there. He will storm to the airing cupboard flicking water all over the place, (even though the airing cupboard is 3 times further away than the bedroom where there is always a towel...) JUST so he can let me know how annoyed he is!

northernlites · 15/02/2017 20:18

YANBU
It was just a small ask
He could have put one or both things down
He didn't need to throw the phone
It's your birthday, he should have made an effort, you evidently did
What an arse... what was important here his pride, the imposition he was caused or your birthday, sadly the former things
He should also have apologised by now for putting dog poo before birthday moment and being an arse,
He should have bought you a present

mrsBeverleygoldberg · 15/02/2017 20:18

What an arse, sulking man baby.
Don't give him the satisfaction of ruining your day. Can you treat yourself? Make yourself happy. I don't celebrate my birthday as my abusive parents took the opportunity to ruin every single one. I don't want you to end up like me.

AnyFucker · 15/02/2017 20:19

user that is not "men" it is childish twats

How do you live with someone like that ? Confused

Original poster
furrypets · 15/02/2017 20:23

"i didn't want a bag of poo in my hand for pic did i?"

But if you were a normal person you would have put it down apparently,
well yes, if it was me i'd have just put my stuff down to take the pic, to me that's normal. But to take it off him for me to put it down? not normal. Wink

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 15/02/2017 20:23

"LOL men do like to make a big drama out of naff-all."

No they don't. Arseholes do.

Original poster
furrypets · 15/02/2017 20:28

Not only all that but not a card, or even a cup of tea. Probably my own fault all this, i've let him get away with far too much shitty behaviour in the past, mainly for a peaceful life. When it's his birthday i always make sure it's a good day for him.

OP posts:
user1484750550 · 15/02/2017 20:29

Nah many men love the drama of making a fuss out of nothing and letting you know how annoyed they are... LOL! Every woman I know has moaned about her hubby being a drama queen and whining about f*ckall and making a mountain out a molehill.

Women are traditionally 'the nags,' but IME, most women would have to get up early in the morning to moan as much as some men!

SingingTunelessly · 15/02/2017 20:33

User, you and your friends put up with crap.

Furrypets, belated happy birthday Flowers

littlemissangrypants · 15/02/2017 20:39

My ex also liked to ruin birthdays and special occasions. I was with him for 13 years so had 13 crap birthdays with him being a passive agressive or just agressive. He made everything about him including mothers day and never bothered with presents for me. Of course I had to always make his birthday special. He even ruined my 21st as he threw a huge sulk so all the guests crowded around him to make sure he didn't kick off too badly while I hid in the kitchen crying.
The day my mother died he had to take time off work to get stoned as he was so sad. I on the other hand was only her daughter so had to take the kids to school and run around after ex and wait on him hand and foot. At the end of that day he screamed abuse at me as I didn't look after him enough.
Since he left I have enjoyed my birthday and mothers day. He still tries to ruin special occasions but I ignore. I have a happy life and no longer have to fear his temper or pander to him. It feels bloody amazing to be free.

Agerbilatemycardigan · 15/02/2017 20:47

Happy belated birthday OP Flowers

Sorry that your OH is a total gitfinger.

user1484750550 · 15/02/2017 20:49

He doesn't 'ruin' anything, and me and my friends don't 'put up with crap,' but yeah, our men do have these sulky childish petty moments.

Must be so lovely to have such a perfect man who has not a single flaw Smile

AnyFucker · 15/02/2017 20:51

You and your friends should set your bar higher user

sunflower2008 · 15/02/2017 20:57

Belated birthday wishes! He behaved like a child, so sorry your birthday was ruined! x

midlifehope · 15/02/2017 20:59

I can sympathise. It was my 40th recently. Not a cup of tea, present or anything. He even made plans to go out with someone else (bloke) for breakfast. I made the day my own by going around a local town with my son and drinking a leisurely coffee. I also threw my own house party and invited my friends. I am looking at ways to get rid of him!

SingingTunelessly · 15/02/2017 20:59

Ok user, you don't mind unthoughtful behaviour. That's your choice. But OP is upset about the thoughtlessness shown to her by her other half on her birthday. I think she's right about being upset. His tantrum was uncalled for. As for not even getting her a birthday card ...

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