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Original poster

To think coming up to 14 months isn't THAT late to walk?

113 replies

Skatingonthinice16 · 14/02/2017 16:43

MiL is obsessed with dd walking. Last week she just let her go whilst dd was walking holding her hands and dd fell on her face.

It's ramped up because her other granddaughter who is a few weeks younger than my dd is now waking. However my dd was prem - nearly 7 weeks. If she'd been born on her due date she'd only have been 1 this week.

MiL keeps referring to dd as 'backwards' as in 'what's wrong with her Skating, is she backwards?'
Ds didn't walk until 16 months but MiL has rewritten history and tells everyone he walked at nine months Hmm

It's not that late is it really? Dd walks holding one of my hands and can stand inside but doesn't go anywhere. I reckon it will be another couple of months. Maybe around 16 months like ds was.

OP posts:
Notanotherpawpatrol · 14/02/2017 17:17

Confused Stupid autocorrect...Hopefully you get what I mean!

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 14/02/2017 17:17

Nope, neice was 20mths and there were no issues

littlemissangrypants · 14/02/2017 17:18

My eldest was walking by 10 months but the younger one was not walking until after 17 months. He had no need to get up and walk to get anything as his big brother used to bring him everything he wanted. Ds eventually caught up when his big brother went to nursery and he no longer had anyone to fetch and carry everything for him.
Kids learn things at their own pace and comparing different kids just leads to hurt feelings and worry. Unless you are concerned in any way just ignore your mother in law. Also you are a better person than me because if anyone called my child backward I would punch them

TheBeanpole · 14/02/2017 17:19

Nope - dd1 was 22 months. She was referred for a physio check by the HV at 18 months but was fine. I think only 1 of her nct friends was walking by 14 months.

runforthesun · 14/02/2017 17:19

I have two friend's whose babies walked at 18 and 24 months, no development issues they just did it when they were ready/wanted to.

I think I would be telling her to back off and mind her own. I can't understand the need to compare, they all get there in the end.

Witchend · 14/02/2017 17:21

My MIL was the same with dd1.
A friend of hers brought her dgd round the same age as dd1 when dd1 was 10 months.
Dd1 was just crawling, other child was walking.
Dd1 sat watching as other child charged round the room picking up items and throwing them. She then sat quietly and did a jigsaw (something she loved at that age) quietly in the corner, followed by stacking cups exactly in order.
MIL said "she was outshone in every way."

Funnily enough she didn't remember this when dd2 was walking at 8 months (you really don't want that, they have the ability to get anywhere with no common sense) nor when she commented on a later grandchild who wasn't moving in any way at all at 19 months that she was sure "all did it in their own time".

What I would say was once dd1 walked a step, within 2 days she was fully walking, and a week later never crawled again. Dd2 used to revert to crawling if tired or ill until she was nearly 2yo.

Average age to walk is 15 months, so she's not even late yet.

RandomMess · 14/02/2017 17:22

How have you not stabbed her or at least slapped her with a wet fish????

I think I would not be spending any time with her until she learnt some manners! Alternatively I would be mentioning something like "I cannot believe how ignorant some elderly people are" every time she makes such an ignorant comment...

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 14/02/2017 17:22

DS1 was 16m. He'd looked ready for months but just hadn't summed up the courage to go solo. People kept saying "just you wait until he starts walking..." but he crawled like a rocket from 9 months and could climb and cruise and got around so effectively that he didn't see the point in slowing down to walk. One day, he just took 16 steps perfectly competently across the hall at a parent and toddler group, and that was it. At 5 he ran 2k in 15 mins at junior parkrun, so he's not been held back by taking his time Grin I can't say that I feel deprived of the experience of spending months bent double holding up a keen, wobbly young walker while they build their strength up!

I hope she's not the type to get a bee in her bonnet for milestone after milestone.

BrianCoxWithBellsOn · 14/02/2017 17:22

DD walked at 10 months.

DS walked at 15 months.

DD now 13. DS now 4 (nearly)

Both are equally able to use their legs for their intended purposes.

Each child is different.

TinselTwins · 14/02/2017 17:23

How often have you said to another adult: "wow! you are AMAZING at walking! you must have started that early huh?"

exactly.

meeerkat · 14/02/2017 17:25

Mine was 13 months.

First babies tend to be slower, siblings usually do it faster as they copy what other kids are doing.

But I think anything between 10 and 14 months is normal for first steps.

SixthSenseless · 14/02/2017 17:26

The fact that she was a preemie is very relevant, too. They don't just fast forward and miss out nearly two months growing time.

I would politely but firmly tell MIL that you don't want to discuss it again, that you don't want to hear comparisons with other babies and that you never want to hear the word 'backwards ' again.

And tell your DH you are saying it, and that you expect him to back you up.

Parker231 · 14/02/2017 17:26

DT's - one walked just before his first birthday whereas the other was nearly 16 months. I got lots of comments 'does she have problems!'. They were 8 weeks premature- I thought they were brilliant at what time they started to walk although there were many times I secretly wished that they hadn't started walking!

DixieNormas · 14/02/2017 17:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

farfarawayfromhome · 14/02/2017 17:27

Mine was over eighteen months. no need for the backward comment, I would totally be having a word about that! This competitive bullshit is what I hate about being a parent.......

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/02/2017 17:31

Babies don't understand the obsession with walking. They want to move around quickly. And if cruising/crawling allow them to do it fast, why walk? Children hit developmental milestones at different times. I was very excited when my dd walked at almost 13 months especially I knew a child, who walked at 9 months. But it was never a competition.

Magzmarsh · 14/02/2017 17:31

My dc were 14 months, MIL was an absolute shit about it, implying they were "slow" and constantly comparing to her other grandchildren who were walking at 9 months. It's nothing to worry about op.

isaulte · 14/02/2017 17:33

My DS (now 16) was 18 months when he started walking and didn't even crawl until about 13/14 months; whenever you put him, he would just stay there.

FIL insisted on constantly trying to "make" him walk, until I intervened after watching DS fall flat on his face.

DS is now a very active, sporty teenager and does not appear to suffer any after effects of being a so-called "late walker".

WashBasketsAreUs · 14/02/2017 17:36

I've got three girls. Eldest walked at 7 months ( funnily enough her little boy was an early walker at 8 months). I had twin girls and one walked at just over a year, the other one didn't do it til she was 16 months. They had the same food, same treatment, same environment but there was a huge difference. They're in good jobs;teacher, psychologist and deaf translator, never did them any harm.

Ignore her, she's an idiot x

TheMysteriousJackelope · 14/02/2017 17:39

The DD of my mother's friend didn't walk until she was 18 months old.

She is now a fellow of a college at Cambridge University.

Your MIL sounds a bit 'backwards' and more than a little ignorant to me.

Original poster
Skatingonthinice16 · 14/02/2017 17:41

MiL doesn't understand about being prem.
she thought it made no difference and once 'they were born it was all the same.'
She still believes this to be true which also enrages me quite a bit.

Dd has crawled earlier than ds did and cruised almost immediately (8 months actual age) but ds is dyspraxic and never crawled 'properly'. He commando crawled until he walked.

OP posts:
Hobbitch · 14/02/2017 17:41

Mine was overdue and walked at 14 months on the dot. Yanbu.

baddyface · 14/02/2017 17:43

What a rude woman!
My dd1 was about 14/15 months when she walked. If anyone commented I said she was too clever to walk. She wrapped people round her little finger so she didn't need to get things/get to places herself as other people did the fetching and carrying for her.
Dd2 walked on her first birthday. She much more independent and likes to do things for herself her way instead.
There is no right time to walk.

GlumsTheWord · 14/02/2017 17:44

My ds was somewhere between 20 months to 2 years. He was a bottom shuffler and had a very amusing frog-like way of hopping around. He is now an amazing athlete so any talk of late walkers being 'backwards' is nonsense.

AuntieStella · 14/02/2017 17:48

I thought the average was 13 months?

Or have I misremembered? Or infant development rates changed that much in the last decade or so?

The longer the time since your DC were tiny, the hazier the recollection. That might be what is going on with MIL

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