Husbands day off and he's buggered off

[riojaandcorrie]

We're off for half term and it's DHs day off. We'd talked yesterday, about him taking kids swimming in the morning so I could get shopping, pick up prescriptions, walk dogs. This morning I said to him about swimming and he said why can't you go, I said about shopping etc and he said, "you should take them shopping if you want them to be better people" (whatever the f&£@ that means). He then said bye to the kids and buggered off.

I'm with the kids 24/7, I work when the kids are at school (I do school run). I do all the runs to clubs etc after school sand evenings. He is always telling me off about parenting. You're too soft on her, that sort of thing and he goes on the piss for days at a time leaving me with everything. AIBU

scorpio is clearly stupid or lives under a bridge so I think their advice, such as it is, can be completely disregarded.

That said, can people please stop having a pop at the OP for 'allowing' herself to be treated badly and lay the blame where it belongs, with her pig of a husband. I expect she's exhausted and worn down and doesn't need a telling off for not being assertive enough on top of everything else.

Scorpio is giving the same advice in other threads. Just give men food and sex....m

being a single parent is way better than living with an arse. honestly. doing it. and have just endured a bloody horrendous meltdown from ds. but at least ex is not here making it bloody worse.

Ha! He should go fuck himself. Then he won't need 'the BJ of all BJs' from the OP, and she can get on with her life and just maybe find herself a grown adult to share her life with.

Being a single parent is hard work but it's infinitely better than living with a man (or anyone for that matter) who treats you badly.

Scorpio
Yep cos when someone pisses you off by treating you like dirt giving them a blow job will sort it all out!

What a crock.

Being a single parent is hard at times but living with a selfish, useless, domineering oh who bosses you around all day is 100 times worse.

In what universe do you live in where you get TOLD what to do by your oh, he does sfa with his own kids and when he does offer a few crumbs of help you are so gratefull you give him a blow job as a thank you?

Stop doing his washing, tell him to pick up his own prescription. If he wants to leave you to do all the childcare then he should be expected to do his own chores. And tell him you will speak to him however you want whenever you want

Scorpio is a troll.

Don't let it derail the thread.

OP please, please don't stay with this fucking scumbag.

AnyFucker - 'Walking cock receptacle' .

What you have here is typical male behaviour

Really? My DH must be female then. Seriously, your advice to someone being treated like a dormouse by their partner is to give them a blow job? WTF?

OP... what do you get from this relationship?

Scorpio - So you've been a single parent, really??

He's not going to go of his own accord when he has a fre housekeeper/slave/childminder - you will have to turf him out.

*free

What was his response when you told him you'd all be better off if he left?

I had one of these. Sounds eerily similar actually.

Except.. I kicked him out a year ago and things have been so much better since. Joint mortgage and I will be staying in the house, it's all done and dusted. He no longer has right of access to the property

Frankly, I'd be taking a look at the costs of running the household without him and then total up my earnings, tax credits/child benefit plus what I'd probably receive as child maintenance and see what's what. Next I'd see a solicitor (with that information) about whether or not (and how) I'd be able to get him out. Then I'd make a determination as to how to proceed.

He's not a partner in any sense of the word. At most he's like having a moody teenager. No help, all attitude.

^^ THIS.

Exactly that. Once I'd worked out the financial side, everything else fell into place.

How do you get him to leave if he wants to stay?

post over on legal and ask how you can get him to leave.

You could try (if you don't want to LTB yet) writing a list of all jobs which need doing in a week, inlcuding loads of laundry, meals cooked, childcare hours etc.
Then make a copy. Highlight all the ones that you currently do.
Point out that you both work, so all these jobs need doing in out of school hours.

Give him a highlighter and ask him to choose half of the jobs. Give him a day or so and then sit down after kids are in bed and talk.

This is a question you need to ask a solicitor as it depends on your particular situation.

He is treating you like a child op it's so sad to hear. I have been in this situation and have to say it didn't end well, not being dramatic

It's not working and he sounds like an idiot. Take legal advice. You cannot go on like this. It's not healthy for any of you.