Husbands day off and he's buggered off

[riojaandcorrie]

We're off for half term and it's DHs day off. We'd talked yesterday, about him taking kids swimming in the morning so I could get shopping, pick up prescriptions, walk dogs. This morning I said to him about swimming and he said why can't you go, I said about shopping etc and he said, "you should take them shopping if you want them to be better people" (whatever the f&£@ that means). He then said bye to the kids and buggered off.

I'm with the kids 24/7, I work when the kids are at school (I do school run). I do all the runs to clubs etc after school sand evenings. He is always telling me off about parenting. You're too soft on her, that sort of thing and he goes on the piss for days at a time leaving me with everything. AIBU

TXT him a shopping list to do, he could have done it while out doing 'his errands'. He hasnt anything else to do now anyway!

Definately a case of I'll do what I want and you do what I tell you to do.

Sod that.

Dear god. He checked out of your relationship a long time ago. He stopped drinking 'at the moment'. Can I hazard a guess he has done this before? You and your kids deserve so much more than this.

Well op you know what he's like. You know you and your kids deserve more than this. You are already doing it all yourself. You can complain on here all you want but what are you actually going to do about it. And he has a drinking problem on top.

Why do people put up with this crap from their partners?

Divorce is the only solution here. Don't delay. go see a solicitor.

Divorce is the only solution here. Don't delay. go see a solicitor.

Agree.
Once it's all over, you can start enjoying life again.

I gave him short shrift and said we were ready and going now anyway, so he was left there 😦.

I'm glad you shocked him OP, but I don't understand ...is he doing the shopping now or are you?

I think you would be better off without the wankbadger.

Divorce might be a bit immediate for the op.you must love him still op or you wouldn't have put up with this for so long.
Question is what do you think would make him change, if anything? What have you already tried?How much more have you got in the tank in terms of trying to make him see his behaviour is shit, and needs to change?
Living with this kind of rubbish is exhausting and demoralising. Unless you think he is capable of behaving differently, I would put a mental limit on the amount of time you are going to continue to do so.

Still keeping my fingers crossed your house was covered in rose petals when you went back home!! Please update!!

So angry now! We came back from swimming, shopping, collecting prescription and he was in bed having a nap. I sent DD up to see if he would mind them while I walked the dogs and he said he'd walked them.

I went to get the washing basket to stick on a load and he told me off for speaking to him like that in front of the kids. He said I'd let them play on their iPads all day if he didn't make me take them out and I said I would be happy to take them out more if I had help with housework, also mentioned I have taken them out everyday since they got off school.

I explained I was very annoyed he didn't take them today because I had so much to do and I thought he'd agreed last night when I suggested he take them. He said that I could pick up his prescription when I was out, I thought that meant he agreed. He said no I didn't agree I was just telling you to pick up my prescription too. He then told me never to speak to him like that again or tell DC he didn't want to take them somewhere.
I'm not in the habit of lying to my kids but I said nothing.

I asked him to stop throwing clothes on the floor when he takes them off because it is unreasonable for him to expect anyone to pick them up. (He suggests sniffing his clothes to see if they're dirty). I also suggested that he would be better placed living elsewhere as this might be better for us all.

He's still napping, but he'll be down soon to play father of the year and complain about what I've made for dinner/if his blue shirt is washed yet/some other shit.

I give up, I just wish he'd go away and leave me alone. Sorry, I'm feeling sorry for myself.

I would tell him that any clothes, not in the linen basket will not be washed.

I wouldn't be making his dinner. Or washing his shirt. Let him do it!

Please don't put up with this. Life is too short and precious. You were not put on this earth to be treated like that and to be his slave.

He sounds like an utter shit. Rude and aggressive. I would look at your options

I would be telling him to fuck right off.

There's an awful lot of "telling you off". Does he think you're an inferior female, who needs parenting??

I'm feisty. If my dh spoke to me in this manner or told me not to speak like that in front of dd, he'd know about it. He'd probably get the look and be told not to talk to me like I was 5, like I'm an idiot or some such. Do you not retaliate?

Why are you doing his washing or cooking when he does very little around the house? He sounds shitty.

She does work school hours every day so never gets a minute. I would be most worried Op about the going on the piss. That's a complete disaster and not to be put up with. One day like today is OK.on it's own but added to the other it's not on.

Urgh think I'd be looking into divorce tbh

Big hugs. It's hard realising how bad things are and even harder realising that they have to change. I know you're going to get a lot of ltb's here, but it is going to take a hell of a lot of organising to get out/ kick out. Please be kind to yourself as you don't deserve this. Is there anywhere that you can secretly start stashing things for if it all gets worse?

Seriously? Tell him to get the hell out. Seriously. Tell him to go.

What a giant arse you've married. Why on earth are you putting up with it?

Jesus! How old are your children, and are you a SAHM? I'd be exploring my options.

Good luck.

Stop doing his fucking washing for a start!

I'd honestly LTB.

Don't feel sorry , feel angry . What an absolute prize winning cunt . Fuck that shit . If he wants to be able to lecture you on parenting , then he fucking well needs to do some , or it makes him just another armchair critic . And even then he shouldn't be lecturing you , you're actually not the hired help.

DH made some smart comment about our financial affairs this morning , because we're having to juggle about a bit due to some unexpected bills. Not mine , either . So he was handed a calculator , and told that forthwith he would be working out our disposable income from now on , and I would be spending it on handbags and shoes . He came back an hour later with chocolate and a sincere apology .

You do know you don't have to put up with this , don't you ? And as for sniffing his clothes ? I can only imagine they would smell only of bullshit .