Husbands day off and he's buggered off

[riojaandcorrie]

We're off for half term and it's DHs day off. We'd talked yesterday, about him taking kids swimming in the morning so I could get shopping, pick up prescriptions, walk dogs. This morning I said to him about swimming and he said why can't you go, I said about shopping etc and he said, "you should take them shopping if you want them to be better people" (whatever the f&£@ that means). He then said bye to the kids and buggered off.

I'm with the kids 24/7, I work when the kids are at school (I do school run). I do all the runs to clubs etc after school sand evenings. He is always telling me off about parenting. You're too soft on her, that sort of thing and he goes on the piss for days at a time leaving me with everything. AIBU

Sorry didn't read post properly. . I see he hardly does anything to help. So not a one off doing something on his day off. He sounds generally selfish and unhelpful.

Where's he gone?!

He sounds like a gem. Remind us why you're with him?

Another one - why are you even asking? You are clearly NBU, he's a selfish wanker!

Does he have ANY good points?

He is not a partner, nor is he being a parent. I wouldn't say LTB but I would say that starting along the road of counselling/mediation may be a good idea.

Viviennemary I think he is entitled to his day off if you don't work. Honestly, who'd be a man.
Sorry didn't read post properly. blush. I see he hardly does anything to help. So not a one off doing something on his day off. He sounds generally selfish and unhelpful.

More than that, the OP actually does work as well!

Clearly, someone failed badly at making him into a better person, while he was a child.

If he doesn't want to be part of your family, then he can bloody well not expect any of the perks that go along with the responsibilities ie having a dp who feeds him, does his laundry, cleans up his mess etc.

Bella

People come here for moral support and to work out how they feel and what they want.

If you don't like it, stay off threads about relationships. It was clear from the title.

I wonder why some people get annoyed about women coming together to dicusss things that concern them . Or describe women talking as " bleating " and " bashing " . What kind of agenda do such people have ?

Except OP is missing the 'discussion'.

Who's name is on the tenancy/mortgage? If it's yours, get the locks changed.

So why are you with him? What does he bring to the relationship?

He sounds pretty awful from what you've described.

If you said you weren't happy and wanted to change things, how would he respond, do you think?

Also, I may be way off beam here but I get the sense that you feel like you owe him for the privilege of living in his home and he exploits that. No need to answer that on here, just something to think about.

Belatrix
Are you having a bad day?
Every post of yours I have seen this morning has been angry/goady.

You sound like the paid help. Why is he assuming you're solely responsible for the children.

Thanks for the support!!🍰I've taken the kids swimming and we're in a cafe for lunch.

He came back when we were going out the door and said he wanted me to go swimming with them and then take them shopping after. He'd been running some errands for himself. I gave him short shrift and said we were ready and going now anyway, so he was left there 😦.

I feel like a single parent, actually wish I was because then I wouldn't have to try to live up to unreasonable expectations.

I'm not good at calmly explaining my point of view. I don't want to play the martyr by doing everything but I don't think I've got a choice.

He's stopped drinking at the moment, but it makes him so sanctimonious. It's a joint mortgage so I can't change the locks if he buggers off.

yes, being a single parent is easier because there's less negotiation, resentment. you just know you have to do it all and you do it. actually, maybe in your shoes you would get some time off? if you split I mean.

Even when he got back he wanted you to take the kids swimming, he wants you to take them with you when you go to the shops.

It's just all on you

It's Valentine's Day. Did he come back with a bag? He forgot and went and bought a card or chocs or whatever?
Still a dick though

So basically he is a single man, but with a skivy who does his shopping and cleaning his house for him.

Tell him to go and do the shopping, you and the DC have a nice afternoon.

You might as well be a single parent without that sanctimonious twat bringing you down

Your life would improve. When it's his turn to have the kids he would actually have to do something. He might be a better McDonald/Disney dad than he is "fulltime" father

And you wouldn't have to sort his shit whilst getting some actual time for yourself. Win/win I would say.

What Eighth said. Bring a lone parent is hard work, no doubt about it (I'm one) but it's much easier without all that resentment and expectation.

By the way, please don't refer to yourself as the female version of a cocklodger because you clearly aren't, not by any definition. You're working full time and doing the lions share of parenting.

*Being

I go on dates with divorced men and I side with their xwives! I went on a date yesterday with a man whose wife had four dc (his) and she didn't work. He complimented me for working, my superior work ethic I laughed in his face. I only have half as many children as his wife, it's been a chaotic nightmare tbh, and a lot of responsibility has fallen on my MUM so only for another mother it would have been impossible. And upon closer questioning it turned out his xw had minded other people's kids too. So she was minding four of his, saving a fortune in childcare and still earning money looking after other people's. I politely told him what I thought of his ''compliment''.

I don't always fight with dates though. ONLY when they come out with bollix