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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rational advice needed before I do something....

91 replies

Beautifulbabyboy · 13/02/2017 18:07

My son goes to a very small school. I had a BIG falling out with one mum last year. Neither of us came out of it well. (To summarise she sent me a bloody rude email 3 days before a class event for the adults I had organised, and I called her publicly on it - overall she shouldn't have been an idiot and I shouldn't have bit..)

Anyway, she has not spoken to me since that day. I say hi when our paths cross, she ignores me etc. I invited her kid to my DS's party. She never replied.

Anyway, just found out she has arranged a whole class party and left my son off the invite list. I am feeling pretty sad.

So do I (a) do nothing. (b) send a polite text saying it would be nice if we can could get passed this. If I do send a text, what do I say?

OP posts:
mirren3 · 13/02/2017 20:32

Exactly!! Just thinking of there were any others not going maybe your wee one could have a play date.

Original poster
Beautifulbabyboy · 13/02/2017 20:38

ok. Next advice. Going forwards. Until this every time I saw I would say "hi", I would smile and be friendly. This would get ignored and/or glared at. What do I do now?

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnishing · 13/02/2017 20:39

As someone said up thread "teeth and tits". Big hello, lots of eye contact, big smiles and confidence.

Original poster
Beautifulbabyboy · 13/02/2017 20:40

I like that phrase "teeth and tits"

OP posts:
IhatchedaSnorlax · 13/02/2017 20:43

Exactly as Chipped says - big smiles, bright & breezy & act like you don't give a shit (& whatever you do, don't contact her about the party).

Chippednailvarnishing · 13/02/2017 20:48

I unfortunately have experience of someone like this!

Original poster
Beautifulbabyboy · 13/02/2017 20:54

Really chipped? How did you get past it?

OP posts:
FireInTheHead · 13/02/2017 20:54

OP, you smile like just seeing her has made your day every day and make your 'hi' as sunny and warm as a sunny and warm thing. Don't change a damned thing you do now and don't let others engage you about the invite on her behalf. If they ask how you feel about Ds not getting an invite just roll your eyes slightly, laugh and say "OhI think we'll get over it. Btw how's your DH doing in his new job?"
That kind of reaction will eat her up inside! It will kill her. She will be asking herself just what the fuck she has to do to get to you.

Chippednailvarnishing · 13/02/2017 21:06

Well to cut a long story short, it started with some wild accusations regarding my DS behaviour, I called her and when I refused to agree with her she put the phone down on me. From then on in she ignored me, then made some even more ridiculous accusations, school agreed with me that she was wrong.
She spread rumours, WhatsApped photos of the injuries my DS was said to have inflicted, all whilst blanking me and my son. The more she did this the bigger my teeth and tits got Grin. Mainly to teach my DS that you should always treat people how you want them to treat you and "fake it 'till you make it". She still ignores me but I've had numerous parents come up and say they think she's the plastic thingy short of a six pack!

Original poster
Beautifulbabyboy · 13/02/2017 21:13

That is so funny chipped. Grin Terrible I imagine at the time! But thank you so much for making me laugh. My little boobs are about to get hoisted! Did your DS get bullied by the other kid? - am now putting 2 and 2 together. My DS has said a couple of times that X won't let him play/join in and at the time I thought it was just little boys, am really hoping it is nothing more...

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnishing · 13/02/2017 21:21

Bullied? No I wouldn't go that far, but he would repeatedly set out to antagonise my DS. My DS wasn't the only child she did this to.
In fairness to her son, there was a big family change happening at the same time, which I think triggered her behaviour, but she wouldn't accept it.
There's been a couple of times we've been in restaurants and she's either been seated next to us or walked in and seen us, each time she's either left or moved table. All whilst I beamed at her Grin

MargotFenring · 13/02/2017 21:30

I have fallen out with a mum. It has nothing to do with the children. I invited her DS to my DS's 5th birthday and got no response. However, her DS told my DS that she had shoved the invite in the bin and shouted that there was no way he would be going.

My DS came running out at pick up time, bearing in mind he knows nothing about the fall out, and marched straight up to her and asked her in a VERY loud voice why she had done that. He told her she was VERY rude and it was not her invitation and that she had made him and get DS very sad.

At the time I wanted to die of embarrassment but actually, I am pretty chuffed he did that. She said nothing. Just stood with her mouth open.

FWIW, my DS is not normally so forthright.

Original poster
Beautifulbabyboy · 13/02/2017 21:37

Thanks for the information chipped - it makes me feel better.

Margot - that's awesome as well!! I need your son at the school gate!!!

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 13/02/2017 21:41

I can be a hot head too and probably would text her! Grin

But don't.

Astro55 · 13/02/2017 21:51

Revenge is a dish best served cold

Or as I tell the kids

You reap what you sow

AnneElliott · 13/02/2017 22:06

I agree not to text her. I fell out with two mums at DS school. 1 was stirring and the other one had always had some sort of issue with me.

I met with one of them later on to try and move past it. She brought her mum Shockwho shrieked like a banshee and embarrassed herself and her daughter.

Now we just ignore each other.

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