Last night I was on the phone with my SIL, because we’re going to visit my MIL next week, and since they are nearby, we’d like to see her and her family too.
Surprisingly, she invited us over for dinner, which I was delighted to accept. This would be the second or third time we’ve been invited to her house in the 29 years that I’ve been married. My teenage DC has never been to their house, that’s how long it’s been.
Then about 20 minutes later she called back and talked to DH this time, and explained that actually it would be better if we met up in a pub instead, he of course agreed and then also said it would be our treat because it’s nearly SIL’s birthday.
So I’m thinking WTF??????? How did a dinner invitation turn into us buying lunch for 10 people? (our combined families) It’s so rude and cheap. If they don’t feel like they can manage dinner, why not tea and cake or a glass of wine and nibbles?
We often host holiday and family occasions, including lots of overnight stays, their kids have all stayed with us for a few days here and there for various reasons. I love their company, and I like hosting, but I would really love to be a guest sometimes. To me it feels like she’s saying - you’re so unimportant to us that I can’t even be bothered to stick the kettle on for you, and I really don't want you inside my home.
We are a bit better off than they are financially, and that’s always the excuse my DH makes for them, but they are hardly destitute, they both have good full time jobs. AIBU? I come from a culture in which hospitality, family and feeding people is really important, so maybe I'm taking this personally, and it really isn't meant that way.