To leave DH putting DD to bed?

[PlumFairy2014]

DD is 28 months old. She is wonderful for DH when I'm not around, but if I'm in the house she clings to me.
So bedtime comes and DH is putting her to bed. For the first 3 minutes every time she screams for me, then she calms and occasionally shouts again, but generally goes to sleep fairly quickly with him.
My sister thought this was savage and I was being a monster when I could 'Do it yourself'.
I feel bad when she shouts, but surely we can't just let her dictate what we do?
Just to add I cook dinner or similar in this time, not like I was just lazing about. My sister has really made me question myself!

28 months

I'll stop at her 18th. Only 188 months to go!

I still said months up until about two and a half. Huge developmental difference between a two year old and a three year old. I mean probably not to a person in the street, but if discussing something developmental (language, behaviour, bedtimes) then I don't see the need to be sneering about it!

Your sister sounds a pain. Hopeless that her husband in not allowed / incapable of putting his own kid to bed til they are 3.
Sounds like your sister is making a job for herself...
DH has weird friends whose wife has made having 1 child a full time job for the last 4 years. Child has just started school which has been traumatic for the mother to say the least. They came to stay a month before child was starting school aged 4. The child was still using a potty rather than a toilet. At once stage potty in the middle of our lounge some 2m from the toilet... we have not seen them since.
Stick to your guns and ignore sister.

She is being ridiculous.

She's been ridiculous. My girl is 4 and my boy 2. I did every single bedtime until recently (dd was bf til 3. DS still is) I've done every single bloody night wake which are still ongoing.

I always did bedtime and nightfeeds because it was easier. They settled quickly for me and with me feeding them both it was pointless (or so I thought) asking dp to go.

Big. Big mistake.

Dd will settle with dad if absolutely necessary but will.hold out as long as she physically can to see if I settle Ds and then come lay with her whilst she goes to sleep.

DS won't entertain dad at all and goes quite mad which keeps dd up.

I'm trying to wean DS off feeding to sleep now so hopefully before long dp will have half a chance without them waking up the full Street.

He usually works away Monday to Friday so often there isn't much choice but I would really recommend you carry on as you are and get them used to it.

Mine are absolutely as happy with dp as they are with me until it comes to sleep time.

Being...... not been.

Well the HVs do a 26/27 month check don't they? You can say 2.4 next time OP, think that is the accepted mumsnet speak :)
YANBU on the bedtime sharing front either - and surely, whatever the issue, unless causing genuine harm to her DN your DSis should just butt out? If you're generous you can blame extra sensitive pregnancy hormones I guess! DS1 (also 28 months! ) has to put up with Daddy a lot more now we have DS2 and we've found as long as he gets to say a very involved goodnight to me, and DH reiterates that mummy has gone to sleep, that he's ok. Took a few nights but no complaints now. We try to alternate when we can and no issues either way now.

Savage? How?? Your Dh needs time with your child too. What if you had to go away for a few nights anyway? The child would have to cope with you being away then. Maybe you could try alternate nights? (Whoops just read where yousay that!) . Ignore your sister's strange words. Somepeople like to create a rod for their own back!!

YANBU. Overly "gentle parenting" just leads to the kids being little sods, IME.

DH does bedtime here - always has done.

I hate doing bedtime. Mostly I sit on the couch being lazy too during it.

All mine always want me to put them to bed. I bribed them that dad's will read 2/3 stories