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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you think breast milk after 12 months is very beneficial?

160 replies

Skatingonthinice16 · 10/02/2017 12:17

Dd is nearly 14 months and I'm starting to feel like I'm going to have to stop giving her breast milk soon for my own sake. I spoke to my dr about it and she said that really all the benefits would have happened by now.

I just feel selfish stopping something which may benefit dd for my own sake. But does it make much difference now? Does it ever make much difference in reality?

OP posts:
Atenco · 10/02/2017 13:02

We all do our best, OP, but you have to look after yourself too. Expressing for so long is a major achievement.

I think it is time you had a night's sleep, because your well-being is important for you and also important for your child.

Ifitquackslikeaduck · 10/02/2017 13:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anonbecauseiwanna · 10/02/2017 13:03

The first session I dropped was my overnight one and my milk didn't dry up and my supply wouldn't have been anywhere near as established as yours.

AssassinatedBeauty · 10/02/2017 13:03

Your supply at 12 months plus will be fairly robust though, it's not like the early days when feeding/expressing at night is important.

I'd definitely drop the night expressing and use cows milk for some of the milk you're giving your DD.

flownthecoopkiwi · 10/02/2017 13:04

I fed my DD till 3 1/2 years and DS is coming up 3 in March and still BF but only at night.

It's a comfort thing, I do think it has helped their immune system but I think we will be moving DS into his own bed and away from BooBoo soonish.

No judgement about when the right time to stop is, and I am sort of aware that compared to many parents I've already moved into freakish territory ;)

Bear2014 · 10/02/2017 13:11

Wow, OP you are amazing to express for over a year. Congrats.

I don't know how beneficial it is overall at that age. I carried on BF (never bottle as she hated them) until 22 months but from 12/14 months she only fed between 1 and 3 times in 24 hours. At the end, only once. It benefitted her as she was a terrible eater, and had bad spells of teething where she refused to eat all together. BF stopped me from worrying that she was starving.

You can definitely cut down your expressing sessions to only 1 or 2 a day, you don't need to worry about your supply tailing off as it will do that anyway the older she gets.

mygorgeousmilo · 10/02/2017 13:11

Certainly not a bf vs bottle argument from me, I've done all kinds of versions depending on each child/my own health etc. I think you've done amazingly well to express for this long, and you must be exhausted and really have had enough. Anecdotally, none of my children went past 12 months being breastfead, and never ever get sick, eat really well, great at school etc etc, although I can't say what they'll be like as adults of course. My husband is youngest of 7, his mum loves telling the story of how she breastfed his elder siblings until they all reached 2, but was knackered by the time my husband was born and couldn't be bothered with him in any way shape or form. Anyway, the older siblings, all of them have ongoing health issues, go from one random illness and hospital visit to another, and have a tendency to put weight on easily. My husband has never and I mean actually NEVER been to the doctors, and gets a light head cold (basically the sniffles) about once every two years. He was bf for a couple of months only. What does that all mean? Anything, nothing, but the point is, there are many studies that show the immune and other benefits of breastfeeding - but it's not necessarily chucking their health away if you don't do it, and it's not a shield against future illness if you do. You've tried your absolute best by expressing and keeping going, you are allowed to think about yourself, you're not being selfish or harming your child by considering your own health. You need sleep and rest, your baby needs you to feel good. Do what you have to do. Do what's best for you, don't feel bad Flowers

BarrackerBarma · 10/02/2017 13:14

Wow - expressing!

Something I could never have done.

Your choices are:

  1. Continue expressing (the benefits to your baby are still there)
  2. Wind the expressing down (because no mother should feel she should continue beyond her limit of tolerance)

It doesn't matter how your personal limit compares with anyone else's. It only matters that you decide your limit for yourself without any coercion from others.

It's irrelevant that we may think you are awesome (I personally do) for expressing for so long already. I'd be saying this to any woman whether she bf for a day, a month, or not at all. Your body, your choice.

How can we support you OP? We can provide links that evidence the benefit if this is the impetus you need to continue. Or we can reiterate that you can stop now, tomorrow, next year or any time you want and that is 100% a valid decision that no-one should question.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 10/02/2017 13:14

I missed the expressing bit. Bloody hell. To say you've gone above and beyond is an understatement.

Definitely drop one of the night sessions. I find my supply, at 16 months, is regulated to the extent that on the occasional days I travel for work and am away from dd for up to 12 hours (usually WFH and she is in nursery mornings and feeds quite often during the afternoons) my breasts are fuller but not drastically so.

Bluebellevergreen · 10/02/2017 13:15

Yes it is benefitial but it is also benefitial that you stop when you dont want to do it anymore

lottieandmia · 10/02/2017 13:19

The World Health Organisation recommends feeding til age 2. But it's your own decision. You are not wrong to stop. Your baby will certainly have benefited from the breastfeeding that you've done.

Julju · 10/02/2017 13:47

No idea re: supply and expressing vs. baby getting it out direct. I would definitely give LLL a ring, even if it's to clear up those sorts of things as you might find, as a PP said, it's not all or nothing and you can carry on BFing and get some time (and your nights!) back.

GatoradeMeBitch · 10/02/2017 13:49

Please don't be a mummy martyr. If you want to stop at 14 months, stop! There's nothing selfish about that. It wouldn't be selfish to stop after one month. The child isn't going to be left without a food source...

LittlePaintBox · 10/02/2017 13:51

I breastfed both my DSs till they were over 12 months, and I gave up both times because they showed no sign of losing interest, while eating a completely satisfactory mixed diet. In the case of DS #2, he started biting me at the end of feeds, which hurt a lot, and my DH suggested that it might be easier to stop feeding than to try and train him not to!

I think it's become a bit of a taboo for the mother to decide when breastfeeding ends, but if you feel you've done as much as you want to or can manage, it's up to you.

Writerwannabe83 · 10/02/2017 14:22

I absolutely think there are benefits past 12 months - the immunity it provides being at the forefront.

I stopped breast feeding mine when he was 2.5 years as DH and I were struggling to conceive and I wondered if BF'ing may have been the reason. If I hadn't have stopped for that reason then I would have carried on until DS was ready to self wean.

If you want to stop, then do, you've done a bloody good job Smile

CurlyBlueberry · 10/02/2017 14:29

Don't stop cold turkey - you risk getting mastitis that way!!

In your shoes I would certainly knock expressing at night on the head and see what happens. If you continue to produce milk during the day and feel happy to do so, then great. If you want to reduce number of expressing sessions further, do that. Or if you still want to stop altogether, reduce down until you are no longer expressing. Good luck!

Original poster
Skatingonthinice16 · 10/02/2017 14:44

I think the thing with the immunity is it's now only passive as I understand it. So it's no longer beneficial long term, only for as long as I'm actually feeding? Whereas the earlier milk supported the immune system on a more long term basis?

OP posts:
PickAChew · 10/02/2017 14:49

It is beneficial, but a miserable mum isn't Flowers

MyWhatICallNameChange · 10/02/2017 14:59

It's beneficial but if you want to stop then stop.

I bf one of mine for 21 months and the others for under a year and I can't tell the difference between them, they're all as fit and healthy as each other.

Your breasts, your choice.

BertieBotts · 10/02/2017 14:59

It's beneficial. But not in any way that can't be replicated by other things at this point if you prefer. For example, we have many ways of reducing a child's susceptibility to illness. Vaccines, hygiene, and excellent free healthcare if she does get ill. Immunity from breastmilk is nice but it's really by the by.

Especially when it's expressed milk - the real benefits of EBF are to do with the way it can calm and comfort a child IMO and when you're feeding it from a bottle, there's no specific reason why it has to be breastmilk. You can do all of the comforting and nurturing in other ways.

Nomoreworkathome · 10/02/2017 15:00

Waste of time for me. DD got every ailment going and ended up with leukaemia. This was after being repeatedly told how vital it was for her immune system to BF as long as possible.

GoesDownLikeACupOfColdSick · 10/02/2017 15:02

I did it until she was 16 months.

when she started to bite, and then bit me so hard that she made me bleed from somewhere you don't want to see blood (let's face it, it's not a good look for a nipple!), I stopped!

so long as you're feeding her a decent diet, you've done amazingly well to get to 12 months. you need to do whatever works best for you. happy mum, happy child!

KP86 · 10/02/2017 15:07

Breastfeeding is fantastic as long as it is working for both mum and baby. I'm a huge advocate and expressed for my own DS for about 13 months before it became too much. By the end I was only expressing twice per day, although I did have a very good supply. DS was able to move onto cow's milk (allergic to standard formula) and it was all ok.

Especially now that your DD is getting more mobile and moving into toddlerhood, you need your energy and time back.

Look after yourself. Happy mum = good parenting.

Nomoocluck · 10/02/2017 15:12

Just stop OP. There are benefits and I fed my eldest until 3.5, DC2 is still going strong at almost 2. But I do it the lazy way and co sleep. Both only fed at night and early morning after 12 months.

You however are spending all night expressing. I can't imagine how tired you must feel. Let her have cows milk in a bottle and get some proper sleep. And with the extra energy from the rest you can use it to spend more time bonding with her and enjoying your time with her. Which is more important than the small amount of nutritional benefit of EBM at this stage of her development.

emeraldislegirl · 10/02/2017 15:15

I expressed full time up to 2 years. It was very hard work.

I found that there was a point sometime about 14/16 months where my body rebelled and refused to wake up in the middle of the night. I ended up expressing at about midnight and first thing in the morning and carried on.

If I were you I would drop the night pump and get some sleep. Your supply wont suddenly stop. It might get less but you can still feed what you do express to your dd. You can then decide if you want to continue the other pumping times.

It is a different dynamic deciding when to stop because it is solely your decision. Looking back I am glad my ds had breastmilk but the time it took to pump and feed (he was a very slow feeder) took time away from my other children. My day seemed much emptier when I stopped.