To ask if you think breast milk after 12 months is very beneficial?

[Skatingonthinice16]

Dd is nearly 14 months and I'm starting to feel like I'm going to have to stop giving her breast milk soon for my own sake. I spoke to my dr about it and she said that really all the benefits would have happened by now.

I just feel selfish stopping something which may benefit dd for my own sake. But does it make much difference now? Does it ever make much difference in reality?

There are benefits. To my mind they are chiefly immunity once the nutritional balance shifts to solid food, and that's less direct and less immediate for ebm than bf.

For (anecdotal) example, DC2 and DC3 caught chickenpox together when DC3 was newborn. DC3 had it pretty mildly. DC2 (then 2) was pretty miserable with his ... until he had a small cup of ebm and was pretty much cured overnight. It was almost spooky! Obviously CP is self-limiting in otherwise healthy children but I'm sure the ebm gave him a boost.

There are greater benefits to having a healthy mother. I delayed certain medical treatments so I could bf as long as possible and now I'm not sure why I bothered - stopped at 21m but medics were advising a stop from 12m.

Could you try a compromise ... express a couple of times a day and give her a morning and bedtime bottle of EBM, with other milk (DC can have full-fat cow's milk after 12 months) in a bottle/cup at other times?
Then see how she goes and reduce to just expressing for bedtime feed?
I am guessing she probably enjoys cuddling up with you and snuggling whilst having a bottle ... you could get all that whilst cutting down expressing if you want, it doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Blimey, OP. Missed your post about expressing. You're amazing and how you can possibly think you'd be selfish for considering stopping I don't know.

Goodness, you are super woman expressing so long. There are benefits, but it is equally important to do what benefits you most, you've done an amazing job getting to this age, give up if you want but don't feel guilty either way

Yes there are benefits but there are two of you in the bf relationship so it has to work for both of you.

I take my hat off to you for expressing all this time, that's extraordinary! Are you still expressing during the night? I would start by dropping night time expressing & see how you feel then.

I loved breastfeeding all the way until 3 but you do have to be wary of the "evidence" of the nutritional benefits as lots of this was collected in countries without reliable clean water, sanitation or availability of a nutritious diet so don't apply in the UK.

If it isn't working for you then you should stop. You don't need to explain yourself or give yourself a hard time - this is about what's best for you.

We're still going at 18 months because it works for us. If it didn't, we'd stop.

Goodness, well done for expressing for such a long time! I'd have given up much sooner. I still bf my almost 3 year old (never thought I would say that O.o ), as I do believe there are some benefits. I am planning on stopping after his birthday. You do not need any excuse to stop or continue, it's completely your choice. I think you should be proud of what you have achieved, and know your child will be absolutely 100% fine if you decide to stop, though might protest a bit!

Omg op I can't believe you've managed to express for 14 months - you deserve a medal! I managed for 3 months and just couldn't take it anymore.

Why don't you just drop one expressing session a day just now and see how you feel? If you're still doing a over night session drop that one first (your boobs will be sore for a couple of mornings and then adjust).

You've done an incredible job of feeding your baby so far. I'm not an expert but I reckon most of the benefits at this stage would be from direct feeding (back wash affect / comfort). You don't need an excuse but please don't feel guilty stopping.

I felt very guilty when I stopped and still sometimes have a cry that it didn't work out the way I wanted but my 6mo is a happy healthy baby so I just look at him and it cheers me up.

I have to admit, I didn't look up the actual benefits but I stopped bf DS when he was 18 months as I felt the benefit to me in stopping outweighed the benefit to him.

Why don't you drop one expressing feed then two etc. Do it gradually cos at 12 months your little one won't be needing that much milk anyway.

I expressed from 3-7 months and it's bloody hard work so fair play to you.

Cross post anon

Also if baby is having the ebm in a bottle I'm sure the advice is to try and get them off bottles at 1yo anyway x

You can only see differences between BF and FF at the whole population level, you would never expect to see them in individual babies.

I BFed to 3yo and wish I could have done more, but had to stop due to illness (me not DD). So please believe me when I say that the slight benefits can clearly and easily be outweighed by any negatives you are personally experiencing, and I would never have BFed to 3 yo if it hadn't been easy as pie for me and DD.

You've done amazingly to still be expressing 6x a day
Yes, there is some benefit, but equally, if you're being drained because of it I think there's scope here to cut down on your expressing or stop entirely. I bf till 2.5, but from 12m was working full time and while I was away DS just ate food instead (we didn't use formula, or cow's milk, never quite saw the point). He did still feed at night/mornings/evenings though.

I think the benefit to the baby of having a Mum that isn't tired outweigh the benefits baby is now getting from breast milk.

Well done for everything you have done so far. Stopping does not make you selfish, it just allows your body to recover so you can do other things.

Yes at the minute we are failing epically with a range of cups. Not interested in milk from a cup.
I'm not too worried, ds had bottles until he was nearly 2 and survived and teeth are fine etc. He didn't have a dummy and nor does dd. Can't see having a bottle would be any worse for teeth than a dummy as long as teeth are cleaned regularly.

Yes I'm still expressing in the night. Every four hours. It's just I worked it out and I'm spending like 24 hours a week expressing.

You don't need to express through the night, surely? Plenty of breastfed children sleep through the night by 12 months and their mother's milk doesn't dry up.

But yes, what barracker said. This isn't about you sacrificing everything for your child. It's about making the decision that's right for your family. And no matter what the benefits of breastmilk, the benefits of a mother who's had a good night's sleep are really not up for debate!

Oh god op if I were you I'd stop. What I tell myself is that I think my ds had benefitted more from me being able to play with him more, not be knackered and resentful from being hooked up to that 'bloody machine' as I ended up calling it.
Feeding is not all there is to being a mum and surely you're a great one anyway for being so selfless for so long.

Do you need to express ever 4 hours through the night? DS was sleeping for 10-12 hours by 1 and even then, I wasn't "storing" milk up by then, just producing it on demand so didn't have to worry about supply as much. Are you just expressing that often to get the volume you need?

I think it's different with expressing though. I understand the milk often stops once you stop expressing at night. The pump is not as effective as a baby is it?

I'd definitely be looking to skip at least one of your night time expresses to give you a chance of 8 hr sleep (hopefully someone else can get up for nighttime feeds!). You may need to stretch it a bit longer between expressing over about a week though so you don't wake up like Dolly Parton as your boobs are used to the routine.

Can I just say that you are amazing. I expressed exclusively for 6 weeks and it nearly killed me. I would second the advice to cut back gradually and see how it goes. Definitely cut back with a view to stopping the night feeds. You need to think about your own health too. Nobody knows how much it affects an individual child to be breast fed or not and nobody ever will know. Looking at my 3 year old running around nursery with his friends, some have had not a drop of breast milk, some had it for years, most somewhere in between and I can't tell the difference.

I thought it was just that you had to do it that often for the first two weeks to secure the milk supply, and after that you could be a bit more relaxed? But I am in no sense whatsoever an expert in this, so for god's sake check with someone who is.

I think (!) that by 14m your breasts are more able to regulate themselves - and go longer between feeds - but you're right that babies are more efficient than pumps.