AIBU to try and put a positive spin on periods for DD?

[cingolimama]

DD recently started her periods. They are completely normal, with accompanying cramps and moodiness. I've always been very straightforward about bodily stuff, including sex, and don't want her to feel any shame about periods (I remember my mother lowering her voice to a whisper whenever she discussed what she described as "the curse").

But my daughter is appalled at this - finds the blood icky and vaguely disgusting. "Why?!!!" "Why?!!!" she wails. Tbh, she has a point. I've tried doing the "miracle of womanhood" thing, then went for "this is part of our amazing bodies".

Should I just admit to her that actually, periods are a monumental pain in the ass that last for a good 40 years? AIBU for even trying to put a positive spin on periods? Have any of you wise MNers succesfully navigated these waters?

Ibuprofen? Naproxen is where it's at!

I got put on the pill at 15 for dysmenorrhea - only years later did I discover that naproxen would make the pain bearable with none of the hormonal side effect shite. You can get it otc as well.

I don't understand the 'periods are cleansing' reasoning. The uterus isn't dirty. I did use to bloat before my period and used to welcome the relief of that, but that was the only good thing about my actual period. In any case, the bloating is part of the whole cycle, which is something I'm very thankful to be done with now.
As far as I'm concerned the whole reproductive thing is a massive PITA for females. What can you do though? It's pointless to be angry about something you can't do much about.

DD1 is 12, lots of her friends already started, don't think she'll be far off.
She's getting quite moody at times.

We've talked about it, very matter of factly.

I had a full hysterectomy last year due to 20+ years of terrible PMT, up to 12 day periods and even ovulation troubles - pain, headaches. Feel great now

But the majority have pain or hormonal issues or heavy flow where you're worried about making a mess

Do they? I don't want to be dismissive of women who suffer through menstruation, but I think you might be better off substituting 'some' or 'a lot' there.

To add to my previous cynical comments, I must add that have a great niece who is 10 years old. She hasn't quite grown out of playing with dolls and when I see her lovely innocent face, full of the joys of life I can't help but wonder how she will take this news (she may already have learned the facts of life at school, but I haven't asked) when her head is still full of unicorns and fairies.
It's very difficult to put a positive spin on something like periods - I think it's quite a tough fact for a little girl to take on board, but I can see where you're coming from.

"But the majority have pain or hormonal issues or heavy flow where you're worried about making a mess

Do they? "

Yes, I would think the majority have at least one of those issues. Many women don't have really awful pain, but one of the posters on here is the only woman I've heard said she doesn't get any pain at all. And no hormonal issues? Many don't have the blues, but they get the bloating or the spots.

"we don't hang out discussing peeing and shitting, so why would we discuss menstruation?"

Not when everything's going well, but people will discuss peeing if they have cystitis and shitting if they constipation or diarrhoea so if a woman has painful or very annoying periods, she might want to talk about it.

what ever you do don't thrown a moon party.

What's a moon party?

I don't really understand the point of periods at all!

By which I mean in a natural sense. The human body and nature generally is an amazing thing and adapts well in a way designed to manage in the wild. For example, if you walk barefoot your feet toughen up; if you rub your skin, you get a blister to protect yourself. That kind of thing.

If you imagine humans in their natural state, living in the wild, what the hell is the point of a period? It's not like going for a wee where you get rid of it all in one go. A cave woman would be walking around with blood everywhere, streaked down her legs for days. It would be unpleasant, uncomfortable and probably unpleasantly smelly. It's not even like it signals precise fertility time to the male because you'd need to be familiar with ovulation timings to actually work that out.

What is the point of it in terms of natural wild living?

Comedy. Find some suitable (but I'd say edgy- so she feels like it's cool rather than cringe) on YouTube. Get some cake out, and have a good laugh about the utter bonkersness and misery of it all.

I think saying that periods are a positive experience would be a lie. I mean, yes, it's great that it means you're probably fertile, but who really wants to bleed for 3-7 days every month. I'd just be honest and offer ways to deal with the shitty symptoms that go along with it

Surely a cave woman would fashion a straw filled fur bikini?

Surely a cave woman would fashion a straw filled fur bikini?

That's not the point Housewife. I mean now we wear shoes; doesn't mean the body isn't adaptable to a natural environment.

Normally what the human body does has an actual reason. Periods in terms of blood loss over several days doesn't seem to have a reason at all - in a wild living sense. Plenty of animals just reabsorb the unused womb lining and don't bleed at all. I think gorillas/chimps menstruate but it is very little compared to humans and doesn't last days.

I mean I understand the physical purpose (shed unused womb lining) but I just don't get the way that it happens or the purpose of it.

Remember that in ancient times a menstruating woman was seen to be unclean and toxic.

Actually maybe that is the point - to repel the males in the wild so they don't waste their seed at the wrong time - rather than a miscalculated fertility signal.

From an evolutionary point of view cave women probably wouldn't be having many periods as they'd either be pregnant or breastfeeding during fertile years.