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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does it really do any harm??

386 replies

fruitandbarley · 08/02/2017 00:50

Holidays in school time. I'm 40, my parents took me out of school for a week once a year to go on holiday.
I've done ok for myself, don't believe it's affected me in any way.
So AIBU to ask if it's really such a big deal. ( So long as it's not a silly amount of time).
Disclaimer:- I've had wine, any spelling mistakes are due to that and not a week camping in Cornwall when I was 8).

OP posts:
BitchQueen90 · 08/02/2017 12:55

My DS isn't in school yet so I've not had this issue, but chances are I will take him out for a holiday now and then. I'm a lone parent and I don't want him to miss out on a holiday because I can't afford out of term prices.

However, I will only do this if his attendance has otherwise been good, he isn't struggling or behind with any work or it is around exam time. I also wouldn't expect his teachers to spend time helping him to catch up, I would spend the time doing it with him myself.

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 08/02/2017 12:55

As it is ok to now have term time holidays I've decided to have one too.I'm sure you won't mind the extra hours your child will have to do after school when I get back as they will need to catch up on the lessons missed

Thats your job. When my kids are also paid to be there, then you can make the analogy, not before.

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 08/02/2017 12:56

Also, one of my kids teachers did take term time holiday for a wedding, and guess what? All was well!

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 08/02/2017 12:59

Thats your job. When my kids are also paid to be there, then you can make the analogy, not before

It isn't teachers jobs to have to spend their own time helping children catch up who have been away.

AndNowItsSeven · 08/02/2017 13:04

Trifle nor do I want a debate. You asked a question , and I was answering it.

Eolian · 08/02/2017 13:06

Hmmm. The teacher shortage is now pretty appalling. How long, I wonder, until schools are so desperate for staff that a candidate will be able to say "Yeah ok, I'll take your job but I've booked a week's cruise in the middle of January so I won't be in then". That would be interesting.

In reply to someone's point upthread that teachers have lots of weeks when they can go on holiday, but some parents don't - yes that's true, but many parents are pretty open about the fact that it's the prices that make them want to take their dc out of school in term time, not necessarily an inability to get time off.

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 08/02/2017 13:06

It isn't teachers jobs to have to spend their own time helping children catch up who have been away

And they don't have to do that. My kids teachers don't, but then they don't need to.

You need to grasp the fact that in other countries schools are much more relaxed about this, people take term time holidays (including sometimes teachers!), no fines, no stress, and most importanty still beat you in every measure of educational attainment on an international level!

You're doing it wrong.

Eolian · 08/02/2017 13:08

You're doing it wrong.

The government are doing it wrong. Teachers don't actually get to choose how these things work, you know.

Trifleorbust · 08/02/2017 13:10

AndNowItsSeven: Fair enough. You don't care about my pay progression. The Head of a school, course, may be less inclined to dismiss it than you, and may believe there are indeed places you could take your DCs that don't require term time holiday. That is between you, them and the courts!

Trifleorbust · 08/02/2017 13:11

NarkyMcDinkyChops: I don't make that analogy, Narky. I will do my job. But I am damned if I am going to do it twice!

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 08/02/2017 13:14

The government are doing it wrong. Teachers don't actually get to choose how these things work, you know

You're as in your country!

Mrscog · 08/02/2017 13:24

Can I ask a question of teachers? I wouldn't expect a teacher to spend their time helping a child catch up but is it acceptable to ask what they've missed so as a parent you can help them?

For instance my DS is in reception, if I asked which digraphs they're learning that week would that be acceptable?

Eolian · 08/02/2017 13:26

You're as in your country!

Ah - in that case, you are absolutely dead right. Smile We are doing it very wrong and need to go back to the drawing board about a lot of things in education. Doubt it will happen though. That's why I'm only a supply teacher these days.

Trifleorbust · 08/02/2017 13:27

Mrscog: Honestly? I would answer a single quick email if I had time. I wouldn't have a long phone conversation or enter into a long email exchange. It is your choice to remove your child so your responsibility if they miss content.

Eolian · 08/02/2017 13:28

Mrscog - yes absolutely! More than acceptable.

Eolian · 08/02/2017 13:29

Yy - email much much preferable to phone call.

Mrscog · 08/02/2017 13:31

That's fine trifle I wouldn't expect a long exchange just a 'we're doing ch, ng,ck, adding single numbers together and reading Funnybones.'

Haven't decided what to do yet, and will wait anyway to check that DS's attendance stays high - still time for an extra winter bug or two!!!

Purplehonesty · 08/02/2017 13:32

We took the kids last year in September as dh was ill when we were supposed to be away in August.
Going again in May but that's due to mil treating us for her birthday.
Would probably do it again as the costs are so much cheaper.
If he was in secondary we wouldn't do it nor when dd starts primary 1 as I feel like that's a really important first year not to miss but ds is in p3 and doing really well so I know he can catch up.

sugarplumfairy28 · 08/02/2017 13:34

Personally I think it depends on the child. If you're child takes time to learn something, then taking 1-2 weeks off could have an effect on them. If you have a quick learner who could do work in advance or pick everything up in a quick catch up at home with parents, then it's less likely to.

The question of should you be allowed to remove children remove school for a holiday is never going to be settled. If and how it effects them if unique to the child.

Trifleorbust · 08/02/2017 13:38

Mrscog: I would have no problem with that.

greenbean789 · 08/02/2017 13:40

I think it depends on where you are on the curriculum. I missed school for about 10 days when I was about 15 and it was quite detrimental to my studies. I fractured my left arm, and my parents had been planning a trip to see some friends in the countryside. I could still have attended the school with my arm on a sling, but chose to go with my parents. It was the beginning of the second month into the academic year, we were just starting to learn about integrals in algebra. Suffice to say, I never caught up, despite having no major issues in understanding any subjects.

AndNowItsSeven · 08/02/2017 13:48

Trifle no you misunderstood, I do care about your payscale and I think the current "performance related pay" is inappropriate.
However I would have no choice but to prioritise my dc above your payscale that's the point I was making.
I imagine most parents would do the same.

AndNowItsSeven · 08/02/2017 13:50

Also trifle your posts towards me are coming across as obsessive. My dc holiday in the same place every year it's all they can cope with. We have always been given permission and never fined due to " exceptional circumstances ".

AndNowItsSeven · 08/02/2017 13:50
  • aggressive not obsessive.
Trifleorbust · 08/02/2017 13:56

AndNowItsSeven: I don't think I am being aggressive. Sorry if it came across that way. I understand your priorities have to lie where they do. However, this is about whether Heads should be signing off term time holidays and I am only pointing out that they have a wider set of responsibilities that they can't ignore.