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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does it really do any harm??

386 replies

fruitandbarley · 08/02/2017 00:50

Holidays in school time. I'm 40, my parents took me out of school for a week once a year to go on holiday.
I've done ok for myself, don't believe it's affected me in any way.
So AIBU to ask if it's really such a big deal. ( So long as it's not a silly amount of time).
Disclaimer:- I've had wine, any spelling mistakes are due to that and not a week camping in Cornwall when I was 8).

OP posts:
SmileEachDay · 09/02/2017 20:49

That is the best I can do to help any child who misses learning catch up frumpet. My job is to ensure every child makes progress.

What's your point?

YellowCrocus · 09/02/2017 20:51

As a parent and an ex-teacher I can see both sides of the coin here. Teachers' pay and progression is now based on pupil performance and this muddies the water, as pupils holidaying in term time can have a real impact on their teacher's prospects. That isn't about the children or the families, though - it's a stupid policy for many reasons. I think that travel, if you are lucky enough to have the chance, is incredibly beneficial to children and I would so much rather that they miss a week of school than miss out on the chance to spend a week doing something new. For what it's worth, I'm taking mine out for a week this Easter to go to Bali. They are in Reception and Y7 so both low-pressure years. Flights are too expensive to justify a ten-day stay so it's either take them out for a week to extend the holiday, or not go. I figure this is better for them. I wouldn't take them out around exam time, however.

YellowCrocus · 09/02/2017 20:57

I should add, I will always inform my children's school of the absence and make sure they catch up. Even if this is not the case though, I think it is better than the alternative. When I was a teacher in a deprived area, parents would ring up to say their child was sick, while secretly sneaking them for a week in a caravan in Cleethorpes. I always thought that was much better for the children than the parents not being able to afford to take the family anywhere.

Suchalovelyday · 09/02/2017 20:59

If the teacher would kindly let us know precisely what we may have missed (which they haven't yo date despite requests IP to and I cluding the HT) we will most certainly catch them up. Last year we took thrm to the tree of Hippocrates, taught them a bit of Greek history, explained a bit of the Cyrillic alphabet and shared a bit of First Aid from 'first, do no harm'

In school they had a PE afternoon, DVDs, non uniform day (for a £1), teachers giving treats, class games and a who,e morning assembly.

Neglectful we are.

frumpet · 09/02/2017 21:07

Smile my point is blunt and quite frankly a bit bolshy tonight , so I apologise . If you work in education you do not have to worry about holidays in the same way as the majority of the population do . If you work in a female saturated work force as I do , even though the holiday entitlement is good , you are constantly against people who have the same wishes with regards holidays as you , not everyone wins all the time . So we can either say that every female in this country should try and work in education ( that's the NHS fucked ) or that they should work in part-time or bank type positions in whatever area they choose , thus sacrificing their ability to accumulate a decent pension . Or occasionally they will have to take their children out of school for a holiday , tricky isn't it !

MillyDLA · 09/02/2017 21:08

We follow government policy because we don't have a choice as leaders of schools. Attendance needs to be more than 96.5% for the school. We work hard to maintain our targets for attendance for the school over time...then a family takes a holiday and all of the targets, action planning to improve attendance and reports home/meetings with parents is wasted. Attendance has dropped to less than national averages, Ofsted visits and the leadership of the school is criticised for not achieving higher attendance figures. Add to this the number of children considered to be persistent absentees ( attending less than 90% of the time) and we are in deep trouble.
And there was me as a child, didn't stay off ill, wouldn't go on holiday in term time.... And all because I would lose my dinner table seat with my friends at lunchtime. Absolute agony. 😉

Bettyspants · 09/02/2017 21:16

I'll try and be quick as I'm about to start work! I had never really given much thought to children being taken out during school time and TBH I kind of think it's ok for the younger ones still. However DH is a head teacher. He has had horrendous times with this previously in certain years and is now finding some of his teachers (particularly SATs years) are getting incredibly bogged down with the work load. While a week off doesn't seem much on top of sickness and other children being off it all mounts up. It has a knock on effect to the class as most days and weeks from now until summer hols there will be a child off in a class, extra time is then spent to make sure that child can catch up . When this happens repeatedly it has a detrimental effect of other children. I think DH is a bit pissed off I still don't think it's an awful thing to do with the much younger children and I'll be really honest if he wasn't in teaching I reckon we would do the same!! But unfortunately yes, it does have an impact on schooling.

Trifleorbust · 09/02/2017 21:17

If the teacher would kindly let us know precisely what we may have missed (which they haven't yo date despite requests IP to and I cluding the HT) we will most certainly catch them up.

So unbelievably entitled. Am I right in thinking that you chose for your child to miss lessons the teacher had prepared? Why should the teacher spend his or her time letting you know 'precisely what your child missed'? If you cared that much you would send them to school.

Bettyspants · 09/02/2017 21:17

Sorry so rushed, I also completely agree with milly

BoneyBackJefferson · 09/02/2017 21:20

It is very easy to say that children having a weeks holiday has little or no impact on the teacher/s when its not you that the parents are threatening and screamed at because you have other things to do that hold a 1-2-1 catch-up after school session that the child hasn't attended in the previous years that they have missed school for a holiday.

(and this is from a teacher that really doesn't care if you take your kids on holiday in term time)

LumpsMum · 09/02/2017 21:22

I'm German and I've lived in the UK for twelve years, so never attended school here myself. Part of me is terrified of my DS starting school this year. I missed four weeks due to illness when I was nine. I managed to catch up through homework when I felt better. No teacher had to help - my mum did via copies of my friend's homework.
All this policing of lunch boxes, time off for sickness, time off for holidays, etc etc seems over the top and intimidating.
Noone seems to be allowed to parent and make decisions based on what benefits their child. Everything is target driven!
How does noone go loopy during their children's school years over here?!? Grin

Yogimummy123 · 09/02/2017 21:24

If parents know what is missed they can help the child catch up (quite responsible) & save the teacher feeling the need to do it? Not such a bad thing?

MixedGrill · 09/02/2017 21:27

LumpsMum: don't worry, most of us actually sail through primary without noticing any of this intervention, unless we do actually do the holiday thing. And then, most schools just log a short, one off absence as 'unauthorised' and that's the lady you hear.

LumpsMum · 09/02/2017 21:33

MixedGrill - thank you, that does make me feel better! Smile I don't particularly plan on taking him on holiday during term time (mostly as travelling within the UK still makes me feel like I'm on holiday anyway - I love it here - so should be able to afford during school breaks hopefully).

WyfOfBathe · 09/02/2017 21:34

How does noone go loopy during their children's school years over here?!? grin
I went to school partly here, partly in France. I now teach here. One thing I think I should say is that Mumsnet is only a subset of the "real" UK, and that people are probably more likely to complain online when somethings going wrong than when it's going right Grin our education system is... not the best... but it's really not appalling either (in my mind at least)

LumpsMum · 09/02/2017 21:42

Didn't think it was appalling, I'd be leaning towards homeschooling if that was thr case, and then where would the poor child be?!? Grin
It's more that everything seems terribly strict and controlled.
My colleagues with school age children assure me it's not, but for some readon it's really nice to hear it on MN, too. Thanks ladies Star

Bunnyfuller · 09/02/2017 21:43

Trifle I listed what had taken place in the weeks I chose to take my children after school. I also listed an example of what we had done in the same week.

If the teaching intended to (in the week before school holidays - really?!) cover something critical then I think a sentence in the email 'we will be coveting X y X' this week isn't too much to ask. Having had the assistant head say to us 'I'm going to say no in my response but look at my face, your DCs are very engaged and don't stay off for a sore throat' then no, I don't see that as entitled. I'm not saying - what did they miss, please catch them up, I'm saying 'what might they miss, we'll catch them up'.

Not all of us are completely illiterate, despite not choosing teaching as a career. (Although you wouldn't know it at parents evening!)

LumpsMum · 09/02/2017 21:43

And how fat are my fingers...look at all those typos Blush

cherish123 · 09/02/2017 21:46

No it probably does not do harm at the end of term (especially as they are so much cheaper then) but throughout the year it can be unsettling for a child and they may miss a lot. It is also about teaching the values of hard work and that there is a time for holidays.

Anklebitersmum - I cannot believe you could be so ignorant. Teachers work exceptionally hard for our kids and we should give them support.

thatdearoctopus · 09/02/2017 21:49

If parents know what is missed they can help the child catch up (quite responsible) & save the teacher feeling the need to do it?

If that's to be done in any meaningful, useful way (beyond "covered long division"), then it will involve an amount of work beyond which any teacher can be arsed to do in the current climate.

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 09/02/2017 21:50

If the kids in my y11 class missed a week, they'd miss the entire teaching of one, possibly two of the poems in the anthology. If one of them comes up in the exam, they're going to find it very, very difficult

But thats yr 11, and I'm guessing an exam year. We're not all idiots, we might take a 7 or 10 or 14 year old out for a week, but not exam time or essential prep or whatever. We can tell the difference!

SingingTunelessly · 09/02/2017 21:54

Of course it harms them. The school work they miss, fleeting friendship groups that move on whilst they not around. Don't do it. School years are really short so if you've chosen to have children then holidays in term time are expensive. It's the rule of economics. 😩

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 09/02/2017 21:56

fleeting friendship groups that move on whilst they not around

if they lose their friends because they are off for a week, then they aren't friends!
I've chose to have children AND cheaper holidays. One can have it all!

Trifleorbust · 09/02/2017 22:01

Bunnyfuller: You have no right to expect anything when you have voluntarily removed your child for a non-essential reason, at all. I probably would send you an email but that is because I am a nice person and I don't want your child to struggle. However, if I chose not to, I wouldn't expect a word of complaint and would consider it the height of bloody cheek!

windypolar · 09/02/2017 22:02

No it doesn't. They were more relaxed about that sort of thing back then, also.

Today I'm not so sure. It would depends on a number of factors

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