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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think the rape laws in the UK are sexist and should be changed?

316 replies

StuartAteMyStrawberries · 07/02/2017 23:43

Only men can be charged with rape in the UK. Women can be charged with sexual assault but not rape.

AIBU to think this is outrageous and that anyone who has sex with another person is a rapist and should be charged as such?

It was legal for a man to rape his wife up until the 1990's and the law was rightly changed to make it a criminal offense. AIBU to think we should change the definition of rape so that women can be charged with it too?

OP posts:

GangstaRat · 08/02/2017 01:12

Are you being deliberately goady or you just looking for a bunfight? That's not what I said at all.

Then you need to think very carefully about your word choices, as that's exactly how it came across.

Oh, and accusing child rape victims of being "goady" and "looking for a bun fight" simply for standing up for their right to self-identify as rape victims is pretty low.

It's a shame your desire to "win" an Internet argument about rape overpowers having even a modicum of respect or empathy towards actual female rape victims.

Excuse me. Ive been dealing with a lot of self harm and suicidal ideation issues since Christmas and this thread and the rape marginalising is extremely triggering for me, so I need to bow out now.

LoupGarou · 08/02/2017 01:12

A lot of posts have marginalised certain forms of sexual assault and as a woman and a rape victim I personally consider that deeply offensive

I agree, marginalising any kind of violence or sexual assault is deeply offensive. As I think this thread shows, its more about changing peoples attitudes and less about influencing law makers.

AVirginLitTheCandle · 08/02/2017 01:12

They say that sexual assault and rape are equally bad, but still feel the need to cling to a definition separate to all other sexual offences.

The term sexual assault is actually a very broad spectrum and covers numerous offences, including rape.

venusinscorpio · 08/02/2017 01:13

I'm sorry Gangsta. Take care.

LoupGarou · 08/02/2017 01:14

Gangsta

SuperBeagle · 08/02/2017 01:14

The term sexual assault is actually a very broad spectrum and covers numerous offences, including rape.

Not where I am. Rape is not a legal term.

worridmum · 08/02/2017 01:15

FloraFox WOMAN DO COMMIT RAPE BUT NOT ACCORDING TO UK LAW BUT FOR MANY OTHER WESTERN NATIONS INCLUDING STATES OF a country that elected Trump as well as austrillia

But hey its minimzing feminest propigana that only men can commit serious sexual crimes and its sexist otherwise and my female friend who was raped..... sorry i mean sexual assualted by a women with a strap on as she wasnt raped according to you as there was no penis involved so she isnt as much of a victim

Heres a cookie for being so insenstive.......

venusinscorpio · 08/02/2017 01:15

Ok, well not wanting to marginalise anyone, how do the posters here arguing for a change in the law wish to define rape? What separates it from a sexual assault?

AVirginLitTheCandle · 08/02/2017 01:16

Gangsta I'm a rape survivor and a child sex abuse survivor myself.

venusinscorpio · 08/02/2017 01:16

We're actually talking about the UK, which along with most other countries in the world rape is a legal term.

SuperBeagle · 08/02/2017 01:17

What separates it from a sexual assault?

Nothing. Sexual assault covers every form of sexual assault (funny that). The current definition of "rape" can be considered under that banner too, rather than being given its own, separate legal definition.

LoupGarou · 08/02/2017 01:18

worridmum precisely.

venusinscorpio · 08/02/2017 01:19

Sexual assault legally, as I'm sure you realise.

venusinscorpio · 08/02/2017 01:20

In the UK, as the OP specifically refers to. Not Australia or the US.

DJBaggySmalls · 08/02/2017 01:20

To enable succesful prosecution, there always has to be a boundary. A cut off point.
Otherwise its all just various shades of grey.

The fact is, it took women activists years to get rape taken seriously, and to have it defined.
You know that from the date at which marital rape became illegal.

The problem is not that X is not defined as rape; the problem is that people dont take sexual assault seriously.

GangstaRat · 08/02/2017 01:20

Pretending that women do it too diminishes the nature of rape and it's effect on all women.

Read that sentence and tell me again that rape and rape victims are not being marginalised on this thread: A poster flat out denying that female-female rape/child sexual abuse exists.

Flora, message me, more than happy to email you the full court report and newspaper articles covering my trial? There's some lovely graphic testimony from the doctor who examined my perforated vagina, since you're so determined to marginalise my experiences (at best -- at worst you were calling me a liar).

I will never understand why some women hate other women so much. And actually I've noticed over the years that some women have a weird visceral negative response to rape victims.

LoupGarou · 08/02/2017 01:21

Venus

I would define it as rape is penetration of any kind by anything or the forcing of someone to penetrate against their consent. All the other stuff is sexual assault. Just my personal opinion though.

venusinscorpio · 08/02/2017 01:22

I agree with defining it as penetration of any kind, but not where the victim is not penetrated.

SuperBeagle · 08/02/2017 01:22

In the UK, as the OP specifically refers to. Not Australia or the US.

Obv, but those countries can be used as a reference point in this discussion...

Also, need I mention Rose West and Myra Hindley? Both murderers, obviously. But they also routinely sexually assaulted their victims.

But, I forgot, women aren't capable of that. Soz. Carry on.

worridmum · 08/02/2017 01:22

All I want the law to be defined on is sex without consent = Rape plain an simple or the term Rape abolished as it is a loaded term as it appears its a more serious crime

Not just for female on male crimes but for also female on female victims or female on child crimes as sexaul assult with a object still is not seen as serious as the term Rape is.

venusinscorpio · 08/02/2017 01:24

I think that's a sexual assault. As DJBiggy says, there has to be a cut off otherwise it is too vague to rule on in law.

venusinscorpio · 08/02/2017 01:26

I didn't say that did I? Fuck off with that.

SuperBeagle · 08/02/2017 01:26

No, I wasn't referring to you in the last part, Scorpio. I should've clarified or mentioned the posters I was talking to. Only the first part of my response was to you.

FloraFox · 08/02/2017 01:27

Gangsta this thread is about how it is sexist against men for women's sexual assaults against men not to be legally classified as rape. I'm sorry you were victimised in this way and I'm not arguing with how you self-identify your experience. However I think it is important for all women that the extent of male sexual violence against women is identified.

worridmum · 08/02/2017 01:27

so venus again you exclude male victims it should simply be sexaul intercource without consent should be classed as Rape no ifs no butt irrespective of the gender of the perpotrator or victim.

forced other sexual activty should be considered sexaul assult (aka groupeing, kissing etc I dont want to list all the other possiblities )

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