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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the rape laws in the UK are sexist and should be changed?

316 replies

StuartAteMyStrawberries · 07/02/2017 23:43

Only men can be charged with rape in the UK. Women can be charged with sexual assault but not rape.

AIBU to think this is outrageous and that anyone who has sex with another person is a rapist and should be charged as such?

It was legal for a man to rape his wife up until the 1990's and the law was rightly changed to make it a criminal offense. AIBU to think we should change the definition of rape so that women can be charged with it too?

OP posts:
Original poster
StuartAteMyStrawberries · 07/02/2017 23:56

If a woman has sex with a man without his consent then why isn't she a rapist? Why hasn't he been raped?

OP posts:
Anon1234567890 · 07/02/2017 23:56

What is the scale of the issue?
Why does that matter? Either someone is forced to have sex or they are not.

OopsDearyMe · 07/02/2017 23:58

You would have to define sex , if you did that and there are charges for those women who use items to penetrate, which carries a similar tariff

Original poster
StuartAteMyStrawberries · 07/02/2017 23:58

Exactly my point Wary.

It wasn't rape for a husband to have sex with his wife without her consent prior to 1991. Legally it wasn't rape and he wasn't a rapist. Legally of course.

Just like how legally a woman having sex with another person without their consent is not rape now. However hopefully that will change.

OP posts:
SherlockPotter · 07/02/2017 23:58

Unless aided with sex toys, a woman cannot give penetrated sex... it's not sexist, it's biology.

Anon1234567890 · 07/02/2017 23:59

Unless aided with sex toys, a woman cannot give penetrated sex... it's not sexist, it's biology

Completely wrong

Original poster
StuartAteMyStrawberries · 07/02/2017 23:59

Then how do other countries rape laws work then? How are women charged with rape there?

OP posts:
Original poster
StuartAteMyStrawberries · 08/02/2017 00:01

Once upon a time there was no such thing as date rape or acquaintance rape. Rape was only committed by strangers. Thankfully we have moved on since then...and we will continue to move on.

OP posts:
Fackorf · 08/02/2017 00:03

Women can be charged with sexual assault.

JassyRadlett · 08/02/2017 00:03

Why does that matter? Either someone is forced to have sex or they are not.

As a PP says it depends on the definition of 'sex'.

If people are asking for laws to be changed, it is reasonable to ask the scale of the problem and the benefit of changing the law, particularly when the criminal justice system deals so poorly with rape and sexual assault anyway.

Penetration offences attract similar tariffs regardless of the sex of the attacker. They are called different things.

Other forms of sexual assault also carry analogous sentences regardless of the sex of the perpetrator.

I'm really sorry you were assaulted, that's horrible, and I'm equally sorry you weren't believed or supported. A lot of women have first hand experience of how that feels. The label 'rape' hasn't helped them.

Anon1234567890 · 08/02/2017 00:03

Women can be charged with sexual assault.

Its not enough, if women force a man to have sex they should be charged with rape.

JassyRadlett · 08/02/2017 00:05

Its not enough, if women force a man to have sex they should be charged with rape.

If they penetrate a man or a woman, a woman can be charged with that specific offence which carries the same tariff as rape (penetration with a penis).

Rainuntilseptember15 · 08/02/2017 00:05

Do you feel the charge of sexual assault insufficient? Does it carry a much lighter sentence? Not sure why the definition needs to change if such acts carried out by women are already illegal.
Mind you there would be a lot more rape charges against men if the definition of what constitutes rape is widened.

AVirginLitTheCandle · 08/02/2017 00:05

How does a woman force a man to have sex with her? That's a genuine question btw. I just don't see how that's possible.

StewieGMum · 08/02/2017 00:06

Why don't you google the answers to your questions from one of the many specialist services in the U.K. that work with female and male victims of sexualised violence.

Incidentally, the vast majority of male victims of sexualised violence are assaulted by a male perpetrator. It's very uncommon for women to commit such crimes. When they do, it is usually with a dominant male partner who will have form for domestic violence. And, the tariff for a woman who commits penetrative sexual violence on a male victim is the same as that of penile rape.

Anon1234567890 · 08/02/2017 00:08

I was used to the advertising slogan, "no means NO".
I was very fucking suicidally upset to find that no only means no if its a woman saying it. Women are still allowed to rape men and get away with it,

FloraFox · 08/02/2017 00:08

Rape is a crime committed by men. It has in the past and continues to be part of women's oppression by men. It is sexist that so many men rape so many women. Pretending that women do it too diminishes the nature of rape and it's effect on all women.

WayfaringStranger · 08/02/2017 00:10

If a woman forces a man to have sex, it's sexual assault. It's still illegal.

JassyRadlett · 08/02/2017 00:11

Women are still allowed to rape men and get away with it,

If this is what happened to you, then I'm incredibly sorry. But that isn't a failing of the law - the law carries criminal penalties for sexual assaults regardless of the sex of the person who committed them.

It's a failing of the police and criminal justice system apply the existing law properly - to take your case seriously, investigate it properly and prosecute it vigorously.

Again, there are many, many women who have reported rapes and sexual assaults who would sympathise because they have experienced exactly the same. The word 'rape' does not change anything.

Anon1234567890 · 08/02/2017 00:11

Do you feel the charge of sexual assault insufficient?

Yes, the charge makes the offence less important. And if its less important it is less believed. And very few people, as evidenced by this thread, believe this offence is real. So women never get charged.

AVirginLitTheCandle · 08/02/2017 00:12

Women are still allowed to rape men and get away with it

Ignoring the question of how it is even possible for a woman to force sex on a man when he doesn't want it for a second; that quote above is utter bullshit. A woman can still be charged with sexual assault if she has sex with a man without his consent.

brasty · 08/02/2017 00:13

What difference would it make OP? Sexual assault can lead to the same sentences as rape.

brasty · 08/02/2017 00:14

And women can be very seriously assaulted as well. It is still sexual assault

AVirginLitTheCandle · 08/02/2017 00:14

Anon if you really believe that women are believed when they report their rape then quite frankly you are living in a fantasy land.

GangstaRat · 08/02/2017 00:14

Forcing someone to have sex against their will should obviously be considered rape imo.

Extraordinary that so many posters are marginalising rape and rape survivors.

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