Aibu not wanting to see inlaws before my operation

[mummylove2monsters]

Long story as short as I can make it :
I have never got on with my sil or mil
( although I always make the effort with mil for husbands sake and grin and bare it ) .
As for my sil I have had 15 years of drunken abusive phone calls - we are totally different. No love lost atall .
Anyway I had a brain haemorrhage almost a year ago while I was pregnant - baby born safely and is now 8 1/2 months old . I had a scan before Christmas which found an aneurism- they tried to operate but an artery collapsed and they woke me up to say it couldn't be done at the time - I've been waiting at home for them to scan again and see if it's safe to go ahead and fit a stent .
During the first operation attempt my husband panicked and got his mum down to help him with the kids ( both my parents are sadly deceased) - she's still here so she can help him when I go back in . Now my sil has decided she's coming down to see her mum - I've asked that she waits till I've had operation as I want this time alone with my kids and not have a houseful ( and all that comes with it - they are big drinkers and I'm t- total but she's ignored it and is coming down anyway with a view to staying in a local hotel and her mum joining her there ) . Thing is she's bringing her kids and my husband is saying he will take our kids to see them and out for the day this was a huge argument as to me this means I won't be spending the time before my brain surgery with my children he says it's not all about me and I'm being selfish - what do I do now ? Say ? I'm scared that something bad could happen to me at the hospital. Me and sil haven't spent time together for over 8 years - I don't think now is the time - I know this is a garbled thread but I'm actually shaking with anxiety- I am so terrified about my operation and now I'm angry about the situation I don't think I should be in x aibu ?

^ no idea why "used" appeared in my post!

Hope all goes well

Hoping it all goes well

Lots of luck mummy.

Thankyou all - london dr has explained operation she feels is best for me - frightened as there's a 20% risk of stroke !
I geuss I have no choice as leaving an aneurism to tick away could have worse consequences. Just waiting to see if nhs will pay as it's out of my postcode area .
I'm trying to look at it as not so much a 20% chance of a stroke .... more an 80% chance it won't ??? Xxxx

With the 20% chance, do they know what severity of stroke it could be? I just wondered if it might be a positive if there is a smaller chance of a moderate-serious stroke?

No they can't say till they are in doing it .
I asked the doctor if given the risk she would have it done and she said she would absolutely have the op ! I have to take from that I geuss - to not have the op would be worse ?

At least you've got a fairly definitive answer. Is there anything they can do before hand to reduce the risk?

I think you're correct to focus on the 80% positive outcome, sounds like you need the operation but I would be scared.

Thinking of you and wishing good health

Thankyou- ohfourfoxache ( great name ) there's nothing they can do to reduce the risk - I'm a non drinker - non smoker- fairly healthy eater ( apart from a borderline addiction to smarties- I can do a big tube in one sitting ) . I'm the right weight for my height . I'm 39 .
I'm just about to google how to use turmeric ( there's a tea or something that's meant to be great for healing and generally getting healthy ) . I'm active ( 4 kids active not gym active ) . What else can I do but hope and pray , ? Terrified isn't the word . I keep thinking that even though the word stroke is scary, people do have a good chance of recovery? X

Thinking of you and wishing you well 💐

Try yo be positive

I am sorry for your health worries and the added anxiety caused by your husband and his family.

I have no specific advice but I was concerned when you said "I'm just about to google how to use turmeric ( there's a tea or something that's meant to be great for healing and generally getting healthy ) ". I don't mean to alarm but with any kind of blood issue like yours, you really should not be tinkering with herbs in higher doses than regular cooking without having confirmed it with your consultant. They may be natural but they can have negative side effects.

Best wishes.

Thankyou xxxxx

This is the first time I've seen this thread. I am sorry you have such arseholes around you, and I wish you well.

Thankyou- I have a date for the operation- I'm crapping myself and hoping I can get through the next 4 weeks without loosing the plot ! Inlaws are still not around and that's good . I'm terrified of the risks of the op - I'm going to be in a top hospital which I hope goes in my favour. X