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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask of the most embarrassing thing your children have done/said

127 replies

pinkiepie1 · 06/02/2017 18:24

So few hours ago started a thread about embarrassing stories with in laws and they made me laugh so thought I'd see if anyone had any funny/embarrassing stories about their children?

My dd is 3 and im expecting again soon so we went through the whole 'where babies come from'.
She was happy with what I told her and she didn't mention it again.
So went to see Fil and she went straight upto him and said mummy is going to poo out a baby...
We all laughed and it was fine, it was more embarrassing when she told the whole school playground with parents and teachers there and the postman on the way home from school.

OP posts:

ChronicPainDaddy · 10/02/2017 10:37

A few year ago my ex-wife and I along with Dd then nearly 2 and Ds a few months old were having a meeting with a housing officer to confirm our taking over of a house. Meeting went well and we finished so we asked if we could use the office to feed Ds as he was tube feed at the time and had to have food every 3 hours.

Everything was going fine, myself holding Ds while my ex was holding the syringe when all of a suddenly an alarm goes off in the room. DD runs out from behind the desk where she was walking around to hide behind us as the two doors in the room burst open and staff run into the room.

Turns out Dd had pushed the panic alarm behind the desk so the staff thought someone was being attacked. Que embarrassed explanations and red faces that got worse when the police turned up 5 minutes later as the alarm was linked to the nearest police station

Rhayader · 10/02/2017 10:43

In the queue at Tesco on the way home from nursery my (blonde, blue eyes) two year old pipes up

"Mummy, you are white"

"Uhhh, would you like strawberry or melon?"

"And I am white"

"Strawberry or melon?" People are starting to look around.

"And Daddy is soooooooooooooooooo black" (he's not, and wasn't there at the time)

It took a few weeks but we worked out that she was talking about clothes. DH wears a suit to work, so most of the time he's wearing all black in her eyes

Paperthinspider · 10/02/2017 10:47

When DS was 3 he used to quote random sentences from books we read together.
We were sat in a quiet waiting room at the train station when he said loudly 'We don't have enough money for food!' (jack and the beanstalk).

FatOldBag · 10/02/2017 19:40

Rhayader When we were children we were encouraged to refer to our grandmothers as Nanny [Mum's maiden name] and Nanny [Dad's surname], but instead we called them black nanny and white nanny! My mum was really embarrassed.

Catch583 · 10/02/2017 20:59

We were staying with FIL in the country and in the village shop DS asked, "Grandad, are bullocks the one with no balls? Cos bulls have big balls, I've seen them. Why hasn't your dog got balls?"
That's when we left, fast.

Lolimax · 10/02/2017 21:05

My lovely DS now 19 and about to join the army asked me in Tescos (by the biscuits) aged about 6...'Mum what's a wanker?'. I swear everyone stopped to hear my reply.

WutheringFrights · 10/02/2017 21:21

Having a lovely family Boxing Day walk - we are straggling behind with 3 year old DS and encourage 5 year old DD to catch up with Granny and Gran.
As she reaches them at the top of the hill we hear her say
'Wow! For really old ladies you walk really fast!!!!'

Lflossy88 · 10/02/2017 21:24

When Dd2 was 4 we had our neighbour Karen (not real name) round for a coffee. As she stood up to leave, for some randomly mortifying reason, DD sniffed the sofa where said neighbour had been sat and asked her "Karen? Don't you wipe your bum?"...

dustarr73 · 10/02/2017 21:34

When ds 2 was about 3,on the bus home.Started singing suck on my chocolate salty balls[from South Park].Then he sang Sex on the Beach.Everyone else was laughing.Somebody said do you take requests.At that stage i got off the bus.God knows what was next.

mrslaichaoui · 10/02/2017 21:38

When my DD was about 4, she asked why people were brown and we were pink. I spent ages explaining race and how it's not nice to judge others on the colour of their skin, then added "and actually some pink people go brown on holiday" JOB DONE!! Until walking around the supermarket, she asks a clearly black man where he's been on holiday!! Cue puzzled looks and embarrassed mummy!!

TheObserverOne · 10/02/2017 22:13

In public toilet cubicle wth DS aged 3. He gasps loudly "mummy your willy is fluffy!" I shh'd him but he only shouted louder "but why is it so FLUFFY?!"
Just to point out I do not have a willy although there may be some fluff

LizH88 · 10/02/2017 22:40

My 4 year old DD was colouring with her cousins in my mum and dads living room. present at the time was my mum, dad, brother, sil, dh and myself. To keep her occupied whilst we chatter I asked her to draw a picture of me. Few minutes later she proudly holds up her picture for us all the see and I ask what the scribble in the middle is and she loudly told us all that's your fur mummy 😳 I could have quite happily let the floor swallow me up!!

DarthMother · 10/02/2017 23:16

DS was christened when he was 14 months old, he looked up at the vicar and said really clearly "Daddy?". My husband and I froze for a second then the whole church burst out laughing as our fab vicar said "Nope!" with a huge grin on his face.
To be clear - I have never snagged this, or any other vicar although I have slept with the son of a preacher man!

YouTheCat · 10/02/2017 23:21

When dd was 6 I'd taken her to the doctor during school hours (it was 14 years ago and schools were much less uptight about this stuff then).

Whilst we wandered back, she asked me, loudly, whether she'd be marked pregnant in the register.

edwinbear · 10/02/2017 23:25

DS (7) had come into my bed for a morning cuddle the other week and I'd unexpectedly got my period overnight so there was blood on the sheets. He was lining up to go into school later that morning and I went to kiss him goodbye. He was chatting to his friend in front of him and said to me "I was just telling x all about the blood all over your sheets this morning, isn't that right mummy, honestly x it was everywhere, it was gross wasn't it Mum"

NaomiCole · 10/02/2017 23:54

Pointed out a cute baby in the line at Lidl to keep the small DD (3) entertained. "Is that the baby's mummy?" Woman nods, smiling. "Did your baby plop out your bum-bum?"

Teatowelfairy · 11/02/2017 13:15

Spent a lovely summer's day with a friend and our DC (3&4 at the time). Sat by a river eating ice cream and a couple holding hands walked past. Ds2 (3) started shouting "look there's my daddy" over & over. Ds1 didn't realise ds2 was pointing at the man so started to look for DH (DH was at work at the time) he got quite flustered and began shouting "but mummy where's MY daddy?". Friend thought it was hilarious but the man looked as embarrassed as me.

ProseccoMadeMeDoIt · 11/02/2017 13:18

On Christmas day during dinner my DD (4) decides to tell my DH's nan a joke.

'How do you make a pool table laugh. Put your hands in his pockets and tickle his balls'

All very embarrassing especially as I was the one who'd told her the joke

CamomileTeaShotofVodka · 11/02/2017 16:21

DS aged nearly 3, just been round Cadbury World with my sister and had a wonderful time, chocolate obviously on the brain...

They were waiting in reception for her DH to come back from the toilet when DS spotted a black man. "Look Aunty", he shouted "It's a chocolate man"

Willow2016 · 11/02/2017 17:33

Years ago when I worked in a small very sociable unit and ds1 was about 1 - 1.5 my boss popped in for coffee on his way home.

Sitting chattinf on sofa over coffee and ds on floor playing with toys. He drops one of them and says "Fuck it"!!!
I was mortified, boss is shaking trying not to laugh and whispered "Did he say what I think he said?" Me (scarlet) "Yep" and we both headed out to the front door to explode with laughter so ds wouldnt see us!

Thankfully boss had 2 ds's of his own so was not easily shocked

Babysham - Oh do lighten up, he was 2 ffs. Even babies get erections and boys all play with thier willies... it doesnt stop for years. You cannot tell a toddler something once and expect them never to do it again, get over it.
He wasnt 54 fgs.

Willow2016 · 11/02/2017 17:35

Loving this thread, kids giving me funny loooks as I keep laughing, some of them are fantastic - cheese string!!!!

plainchickencurrywithfriedrice · 11/02/2017 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Skylerwh1te · 11/02/2017 23:27

DS (4) always said Teenage Mutant Minja Turtles, and still says Pork a Troll for Paw Patrol. In a changing room at the swimming pool said very loudly, 'Daddy, do you know why I love you? It's because your willy is so big!' Cue sniggers from other cubicles... He also has a habit of asking things about people in supermarkets, like why does that man have no hair etc. The little love.

ButtonMooooon · 11/02/2017 23:32

My DS3 shouted "cock" a lot at a posh country house estate. Whilst we shouted PEA-cock at him

CakesRUs · 11/02/2017 23:47

DS had a wee on a display toilet in B&Q once. He had an audience. He was sitting on it, it was only a wee, could've been worse. Blame DH for that one, he was with him and he was only 3 at the time.

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