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Original poster

To ask of the most embarrassing thing your children have done/said

127 replies

pinkiepie1 · 06/02/2017 18:24

So few hours ago started a thread about embarrassing stories with in laws and they made me laugh so thought I'd see if anyone had any funny/embarrassing stories about their children?

My dd is 3 and im expecting again soon so we went through the whole 'where babies come from'.
She was happy with what I told her and she didn't mention it again.
So went to see Fil and she went straight upto him and said mummy is going to poo out a baby...
We all laughed and it was fine, it was more embarrassing when she told the whole school playground with parents and teachers there and the postman on the way home from school.

OP posts:
beela · 06/02/2017 20:12

DS, aged about 2, in swimming pool changing cubicle: 'mummy, you are very good at pulling your pants down'. Err..... thanks?

A few months later in the clothes section of Sainsburys he came running round the corner with a massive lacey bra, yelling 'mummy, this would be good for your boobies!'. I laughed, so of course he kept on saying it.

Fortifiedwithvitaminsandiron · 06/02/2017 20:12

At playgroup : 'Look everyone, my Mum's got big tits!'

I was on refreshments. He meant biscuits.

MarzipanPiggy · 06/02/2017 20:13

Showering with DD, then three, at the pool. Water running down my body and of course legs. DD (loudly): Mummy, you're doing a wee! I most certainly was NOT!

DS, two, warning his sister who was scooting towards a man coming from the other direction: Watch out DD, a people. And to the man: STOP RIGHT THERE PEOPLE!

PunkrockerGirl · 06/02/2017 20:13

Years ago when ds2 was about 4 or 5, he told a very close friend of mine that I thought she was a rubbish driver. Fortunately she took it in very good part -tbf I did find her driving a bit scary and ds only repeated what he'd heard me say--

luckylucky24 · 06/02/2017 20:16

DS asked i the doctors waiting room today why I had wet myself!
All the other patients looked up. Fortunately he followed with "haha tricked ya!"

Groovee · 06/02/2017 20:16

Ds kept telling my childminder's friend that daddy had a big willy. I found out through a friend.

Fortifiedwithvitaminsandiron · 06/02/2017 20:16

My friend's sister to friend's DS (5) when he made her jump 'Oh, crikey! Where did you come from?!'

Friend's DS: 'My Mum's vagina.'

Slimmingsnake · 06/02/2017 20:17

On holiday with dh dd and ds 1... no ds 2 or ds3 yet...in the loos ..with dd...in a very loud voice...mummy I can see yr penis....she was three and got bits muddled up ..clearly I've no penis or I would not of had her....everyone heard and I could hear sniggers

RedGrapeCornSnake · 06/02/2017 20:20

DS, age 6 - we'd been reading a 'where do babies come from' book after school and when DH came home he was greeted with
' daddy, did you put your penis in mummy's vagina?' Is a very accusatory tone. The haunted and shocked look on DH's face was wonderful

Ilovecaindingle · 06/02/2017 20:20

Set the scene :
Great grandad in hospital, pleurisy not expected to live, all sombre at gm house, all waiting by the phone drinking endless cups of tea. Ds at the still need assistance stage of using the loo. Gd offered to take up him upstairs.
Ds back down and announced that Gd has a big willy but not as big as df!!
Wanted to die myself. . .

Phillipa12 · 06/02/2017 20:27

Ds2 age2 always has his hands down the front of his nappy holding his willy, his comfort thing 😀. We were in WHSmith and i was at the checkout and ds2 and 3 in the buggy were smiling and chatting to two very old ladies, who were loving the attention untill i saw the cashier sniggering. Ds2 had decided to pull his erect willy out of his nappy and show the old ladies "his sausage", we exsited the building very quickly whilst i apologised profusely. 😣

Slimmingsnake · 06/02/2017 20:28

Ds 1 and ds 2 in a school mass.parents invited,but not sat with their kids...catholic school.prim and proper...ds 1 fidgeting..his assistant takes him out..ds2 wonders what's going on decides to follow ,one teaching assistant and both my boys at the back of the church..I'm at the front praying...next minute....BOGIES...bogies BOGIES...the poor assistant didn't stand a chance with both of them....I prayed for god to shut them up ...

Blerg · 06/02/2017 20:28

Not as bad as some of these but DD went through a phase of yelling 'Daddy!' at every man we encountered out and about. Lots of smirking.

Slimmingsnake · 06/02/2017 20:30

And another... ds3 ..also with ASD....shouts out in Tesco....mummy that lady is as fat as you used to be...why is she buying crisps....yes she heard...

FatOldBag · 06/02/2017 20:54

'Well I don't want it. I really don't.' I actually laughed out loud. Thank you for this thread.

At a supermarket a child pointed at my (morbidly obese) dad and loudly asked their parent "why's that man so fat?" We all sniggered (we were only little at the time).

EZA15 · 06/02/2017 21:20

My DD constantly calls our next door neighbour 'daddy' the first time she said it he was with his new girlfriend. The look on her face still makes me chuckle!

Californiasoul · 06/02/2017 21:23

My DD (4) said about a really obese woman in a shop queue, "Look at that really massive Mummy!" Woman turned round with a sigh and a smile and replied "yes, I am".

Teatowelfairy · 06/02/2017 21:28

DS (4/5 at the time) and myself sat in gp waiting room. DS dropped a silent but highly toxic fart! I could see he was Blush.
I tried to act like I hadn't noticed and started to blabber on Halo....DS ungrateful child that he is blurted out extremely loudly in his most disgusted voice "Muuuuummm that stinks! It's disgusting!" Then lectured me on how I really should use my manners! Hmm

Ahardmanisgoodtofind · 06/02/2017 21:41

When I was little DM and I were visiting family over seas.d aunt was trying to set my (single) DM up with a neighbour.i ran out stuck a sanitary pad-winged-on her bum and told everyone mum needed "special nappies"
My DS shouted at a lady who crossed the road before green man a few weeks ago. Today he told his teacher, ta and several parents "mummy's wearing her swimming costume from yesterday TODAY. We're not going swimming.mummys gross"
I was wearing a black body shape body suit under my dress. The dress he PULLED up to prove his point Blush

NellyTimes · 06/02/2017 21:51

When DS was 3 we were at the shops and I had to go to the loo (which was reasonably busy) and he always came in with me at that age. I was on my period and as I was changing my tampon he asked very loudly "IS THAT A CHEESE STRING? WHY ARE YOU STICKING IT UP YOUR BUM?!"

rosieandjim2 · 06/02/2017 21:52

Me when I was 7 we used to live next door to a chippy so the staff knew me went in to talk to the lady who was my mums friend she asked what I would like and I said oh nothing yet my mum will be here later cause she said they are yesterday's warm ups at this time of day Hmm.

My dd age 4 coming out of our local chemist there was a dwarf(sorry if that's not the right way to address him) and my dd looked and shouted oh look a little daddy the whole place was in hysterics I walked off I didn't know where to lookBlush

Original poster
pinkiepie1 · 06/02/2017 22:15

These are brilliant. Thanks for replies.

When I was 4 I was obsessed with snow white and the 7 dwarfs.
So its the first family holiday away since my mum had my sister and I we were at the airport and I spotted 2 (dwarfs) sorry don't know the right word to use.
So I wonder off from my family and I can hear my mum and dad shouting after me but I had to ask
1, which dwarfs they were, eg, sleepy or grumpy.
2, Where was snow white.
For years my dad always told me not to chase fairy-tales around airports.
Thinking about it still makes the inner me cringe lol

OP posts:
babychamcherryb · 06/02/2017 23:00

Ds2 age2 always has his hands down the front of his nappy holding his willy, his comfort thing 😀. We were in WHSmith and i was at the checkout and ds2 and 3 in the buggy were smiling and chatting to two very old ladies, who were loving the attention untill i saw the cashier sniggering. Ds2 had decided to pull his erect willy out of his nappy and show the old ladies "his sausage", we exsited the building very quickly whilst i apologised profusely. 😣
@philipha12 that's not funny that's just nasty? Maybe teach him to let go?

blossombottom · 06/02/2017 23:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mylittlephoney · 06/02/2017 23:27

Not as publicly shaming as some of these but our ds the other night was sat in his minion onsie. My friend was staying the night and as we chatted over a glass or two of wine. He looked down to see a hole in the crotch area. " well - he said all serious like - it just me and my willy tonight" we sat and giggled like idiots for a half hour.

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