Or is 36 too old to start a family?

[VivienneWestwoodsKnickers]

I'm 36 in 4 weeks, DP will be 37 about the same time.

We need ICSI to have a chance at kids, and I need to drop a lot of weight before we are eligible. Think 5 stone.

My DP is worried that we're getting too old to think about starting a family. I'm beginning to doubt myself on this element of the many issues we're up against, as I didn't think it bothered me. Apparently it does a little.

So is 36 too old? How did you find it?

(Massive assumptions here that in the next 13 months I can get the weight off, actually conceive in the one attempt at ICSI on the NHS and carry to term etc. I may well be 37 by then).

There are some lovely positive stories on this thread OP but as someone who tried later (35 plus) and DIDN'T succeed, just beware that this is not a one-outcome situation. I would suggest you keep two possible new lives in your mind, so that either way you have a positive outcome. Ours has been new career for me, and making the most of our un-tied-down ness. Having children is a wonderful thing, but there are other ways to have a wonderful life, too.

I had my first at 37 and my second at 41 so not too old. My Dsis is going for her 2nd IVF baby and she is 45 - had her 1st at 42.
So I don't think it's too old.
A friend of mine has also lost 4 stone in 6 months so she can have an op she's waiting for - it can be done.
Good luck with it all OP.

If you really want children it is definely possible. I had my first at 33 and second at 37 so I am nearly 39 with an 18 month old. It is exhausting and I am in good health but over weight bmi 28. Parenting has been much tougher than we thought. I wish we had started earlier. You need to be absolutely sure that you won't miss weekends away, Sunday lie ins ,shopping for fun etc . My best friend is 38 without kids and I think if you've got to this age without babies then it's a huge change.

I had my DD2 at 35, DD3 at 40 and DS2 at 42.
If it's something you really want then go for it but start making changes now and Good Luck :)

Not too old. I would say it is the average age where I live.

No it's not too old!

Not too old at all! I wish you every success with your weight loss too.

If you want DCs you have to think long and hard about whether you're prepared to sacrifice having them for the sake of your dp.

Your chances of having a child from one round of icsi with no sperm mobility is very slim.

Your other possibility is as sperm donor.

If I was in your situation is end the relationship and find a new dp.

But having DCs is much more important to me than a dp.

some people would choose their relationship.

But there's no use making a decision based on a fantasy rather than statistical facts.

if I was in your situation is end the relationship and find a new dp.

Really?! Blimey thats quite a statement!! I'm glad my dh didn't feel that way when we had struggles with conceiving.

Op - good luck with your journey, whatever happens. (we eventually had dd1 and 2 and ds at 37, 38 and 41)

There will be no leaving my partner over this. He is more important to have in my future than non-existent, potentially impossible children. And believe me, he's tried to convince me to leave him over this, and get pregnant with someone else. Not happening.

I'm 35 with 3 dc and want another.. but financially will have to wait till we are 38.. so as long as nature permits, you aren't too old! Go for it!

I hope not - I'm 45, DH is 48 and has 2 children though I have none. We have been together almost 3 years and married for 16 months. We are off to Cyprus for ivf treatment in the late summer having been told we'll need donor egg treatment if we want a family of our own!!

34 average age for first baby in Spain. You would be 100% normal here.....people looked at me like I was crazy when pregnant at 25. Now 32 with2 kids and people are stuneed when they see the baby and I say he is my second.
Not too old.

you're nowhere near too old but you should probably start getting on with it seeing as you can and still young enough but there are problems. I wouldn't be comfortable waiting much longer with known fertility issues.

I was one month shy of 34 when I had DD - so no you are not too young!

I starts ttc at 34 and had dd at 36. So no, you're not too old.

Not too old. However I'm a bit surprised that you are critical of the doctor for not telling you you'd need to lose weight for ICSI. Even when ttc naturally a healthy body weight is worth pursuing for your sake and the baby, as well as potentially helping you to conceive.

I say this as someone who also had to loose weight ttc. Now I try to keep it off to be healthy for the dc.

Good luck!

I don't have fertility issues which I am extremely grateful for, however I didn't have DS1 until I was 37, and had DS2 at 39 so I don't think you're too old to start a family. The weight loss though sounds important and urgent so crack on with that asap!

I am 36 and this is my first. I would never have had a child any younger - for me personally, I was not ready. My partner is 53 and has two kids, well, 23 &27 yrs old, from his first marriage. I am worried but every first time parent has worries. Age is just a number, yes it may be physically harder, for some, but I think being mentally ready should also be a big factor x

I had Icsi at the age of 38 ( nearly 39) and husband was 44. It was successful. Go for it.

No absolutelt not. Get on the Cambridge diet or diet now and it will fall off in that time. You can totally do it!!

No. I started my family at 43 and 3/4.