AIBU or was MIL?

[JagerPlease]

So last night DW and I went for our first evening out just the two of us since DS was born 6 months ago. We had theatre tickets for a show local to our house bought by my family over a year ago. MIL kindly offered to babysit so that we were leaving him with a familiar face for the first time, and we were very grateful.

We suggested MIL came a bit early so we could feed her and settle her in with DS. He has reflux (thank you to mumsnet for helping on our way to this diagnosis!) and generally only naps on people or out in the pram/sling. Instead she said she would bring her friend with her, and they ended up arriving 15 minutes before we were due to leave. Perhaps the first sign of how easy they were expecting the evening to be was the fact that they turned up with Scrabble.

DW fed DS right before we left to go for a pretty theatre drink. Within an hour or so MIL messaged to say everything was fine and they'd had given him a bottle.

45 minutes into the show DW got a message saying DS had been upset, they'd tried everything on our suggested list to get him to sleep and so had taken him out in the pram. He was now asleep but they thought we should be there when he woke up. DW replied to ask if MIL was asking us to come home now, and she confirmed she was.

So home we went to greet a sleeping baby. Who woke up cooing. Theatre tickets completely wasted.

Am I being ungrateful here or was MIL being unreasonable?

Basic Brown you sound really mean an bitchey!
Which is fine if that's how you are normally but OP was looking for help and support!!

My parents told me about the first time they left me to pop for a quick tea out.

Apparently i was in bed sleeping and settled for the night and of course they were anxious about leaving me, but they trusted my grandma to take care of me and after leaving care instructions and talking DG through everything and that she was to just leave me as I would just sleep right through, they went out.

DM said they both felt uneasy about going out so cut the night very short only actually having one drink instead of the meal and went home....only to discover DG had woke me up and got me out of my cot on my DG knee crying with a jammy dodger stuck to my nose and DG sister there thinking it was hilarious.

Apparently DG got bored after half an hour and wanted my great auntie to see me up and awake. Needless to say words were said and I was never left with her again.

They couldn't believe it as she came across alot more sensible than that and quite a respectable person, just a complete douche with kids! At least my parents arnt such wallys I trust them with anything :)

I think YABU here. You are the parents (get used to this as it isn't going to change any time soon) and as such it is absolutely your responsibility. I agree with pp who said that a theatre trip as your first evening out was optimistic at best. If you managed pre show drinks then I would argue that you've had more of a night out than most parents of a 6 month old.

Lol again. OP I really did not mean to become such a feature on your thread and tried to move on and ignore.

Answering any thread involves applying your own experience. OK the OP lives close to the venue, that makes a difference. I'm still not sure I'd have left the baby with mil for 3.5+ hours the first time, but shrugs others would.

Btw calling a woman 'bitchy' is sexist and deeply uncool.

What a shame your first big night out was ruined.

Chalk it up to experience, I think.

It might have been a good idea to have a practice run, at the pub or something. MIL was BU, and as inexperienced at leaving your baby you were a bit quick to go home, for no stated reason.

Only time I left DD with MIL (for 20 minutes) I came home to find she had shut door on DD as she was crying and 'she wasn't going to pander'.
DD had a filthy nappy and had been sick - she was 6 months old. Never again

I think it's important that both sides learn from this experience without it causing any complications in terms relationship.
I do think it was strange for MIL to call and ask you to come home while baby was sleeping, but then I also think it was strange that you didn't reassure her on the phone. After struggling to get a reflux baby to sleep for 45 minutes she may have realised she wasn't as confident or comfortable being left. A bit of reassurance on the phone may have worked and to tell her that as you were so close if he did wake and was distressed you could be home in minutes.
I wouldn't tell her you checked the jumparoo etc. I would just learn and invite her round to watch him while you are there. Go up stairs and have a bath or do some chores. She can learn his little ways and what works with her and him together. Just because she is a mother, every baby is different. They make their favourite toy when you give it to them but may scream if someone else does. For a positive've relationship moving forwards and developing a baby sitter you can trust it takes time.

It is intimidating looking after first time parents new babies however experienced you are as every baby and every parents has their own ways.