AIBU regarding theatre experience?

[WildBelle]

I took my DDs to the theatre last night as a treat. I was up to my neck in uni work all xmas holidays so we didn't really go out and do much, so I got us tickets to see a show that I knew they'd both love. I hope I don't offend anyone with this post, I have a dd with a disability so that's the last thing I want to do.

Throughout the first half there was someone in the audience who kept singing happy birthday VERY loudly. This ramped up significantly in the second half, it was pretty much constant and very distracting, and then was accompanied by someone else who was making very loud noises (and sounded quite distressed). i am assuming that they were older children or adults with learning difficulties. Now don't get me wrong, I am completely behind the idea of people with disabilities having access to theatre or anything else, but in the second half particularly the noises coming from that direction were so loud that it was impossible to hear what was going on on stage.

If someone had a baby that was crying, they would have taken them out to avoid disturbing everyone else. I can't help thinking that the carers should have done something about it, particularly when it escalated in the second half. I personally feel disppointed that the show was ruined a bit by not being able to hear, as a single parent it's not something I can afford to do that often. There was probably getting on for 1000 people in the theatre and they would have all been affected by the noise levels.

I probably sound horrible and I really don't mean to, but AIBU?

LouKout - That's not the reason at all, I think it's the wording you have used to present your point in some occasions. It has appeared to be somewhat disparaging to some posters who merely stated that they or their kids were sound sensitive or were upset by interruptions. Even to some posters like myself, who actually never suggested that people should be ejected from the premises...only pointed out that not everyone can tune out extra noise and interruptions without distress, and that it's not a cut an dry issue.

And you don't see anything wrong with your attitude?

Well my actual attitude no.

The one you are projecting on me for some weird reason..yes thats awful. Shame its not what i actually said or meant.

Oh i am also sound sensitive and so is my child. HtH too.
Seriously go and beat on someone else.

It's the general attitude that's the problem. All very dismissive.

Oh i am also sound sensitive

Do your sensitivities cause you to have a meltdown? Because mine do.

It's not just that I'm sound sensitive but it can often cause me physical pain. It's not just a case of not liking them.

Virgin - you mentioned earlier that you weren't feeling so well this evening. Would you perhaps benefit from taking a break from MN and having a cup of tea? This is said by one who sometimes gets more distressed by a thread than benefits her mental wellbeing.

For involuntary noise makers, what about one of those soundproof sections? We've got one at our local cinema, originally meant for babies and toddlers I think.

Hardly dismissive of disability having spent an entire thread advocating for people.

You are projecting on me all sorts of things and jumped on me. Pardon me for not feeling all fluffy and kind about it.

I did that earlier Nom except it was hot chocolate not tea. Then I came back to the thread feeling calm hence my post at 20:00:40. But then I got worked up quickly again .

Virgin - Good for you :-) and now I shall take my own advice, have a herbal tea and read an Agatha Christie.

Woah!

That's not what I took from loukout's posts at all.
Either a bunch of crossed wires here or some unfair posts.

Yes. I believe unfair posts.

Oh well. Win some lose some.

Then what does everyone mean then?

I didn't find LouKout particularly dismissive, although I would be interested in her views on how to ensure that someone with noise sensitivity has equal access.

This is just a hypothetical, but would I be reasonable to contact a theatre to make sure I am not sitting near anyone with a condition that makes them make involuntary noises? Because I can't just suck it up, so if the theatre has undertaken to provide me with that seat, would it then be justified to get the other party to move?

In practice, it's never been an issue with the theatre - but it has in other settings. I've always dealt with it by removing myself, but am starting to think that there must be some way of allowing me to access things.

Sometimes it's not possible to include everyone at once. There needs to be more differentiated provision, so everyone can engage in a way that is comfortable for them. It can't be fair that people with one type of disability always have to "suck it up". But - although I think far more needs to be done to include people with LDs etc - absolutely nothing seems to be done for people like me. Even libraries aren't quiet any more

Sometimes it's not possible to include everyone at once.

Yup.

Smiling it's completely unreasonable to ask that someone involuntarily making noise to be moved.
Asking to be moved yourself isn't, though.

smiling a theatre would be very unlikely to know or tell you about who was in a neighbouring seat... they could be an infernal crisp packet rustler...

However, you could ask for seats in areas of the audoria where you would be less likely to be disturbed - at the front, end of row, first row circle, accessible seats, box etc.

Ask their advice -they will know their venues well enough and will want to help.

If you think people with HFA have a bad time from the NT world you have never been out with someone severely affected. Whole families gather up their children and move at the first yelp or even if ds1 just exists.

Penguin - I'd love to have a dialogue with you. Ds2 may be looking at a theatre career and he would be passionate about including people with severe disabilities - he's grown up protecting his brother from NT adults and their attitudes. He's very polite and quiet but that makes him feisty.

What bishop said. Exactly what i was saying before, fwiw

Yes. Families stare at your child like they are an alien or a zoo exhibit.

Smiling - nothing is done for people with severe LD's & severe autism either. There's this erroneous view in the HFA world that those who are severely affected get all sorts of adaptations and support and help thrown at them. They really don't.

Bishop moving myself may not be an option if there isn't an appropriate seat for me to be moved to - and the change is likely to cause severe distress. Only real option would be to leave

(I'm autistic btw, not deliberately intolerant!)

Families stare at your child like they are an alien or a zoo exhibit.

People did that to me when I was a child because I clapped and flapped my hands a lot. Not sure why they cared. It wasn't hurting them.

Asking the person who is inadvertently making noise may cause them distress. So it's not acceptable to do so.

You have a problem, move or leave.