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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you don't buy gifts for expectant fathers?

83 replies

CatchTheRainbow · 03/02/2017 20:17

I'm referring to work.

It's very usual to buy the expectant mother a present when she's about to start her maternity leave.

This is the first time I've been asked to give towards buying a gift for an expectant father.

I really do not like the guy so my judgement may be clouded. Aibu to think it's not normal?

OP posts:
NapQueen · 03/02/2017 20:19

It may not be "normal" in your eyes but I think it's very lovely to buy a gift for a new baby of a parent that you work with. That it's a man isn't relevant. When women leave for mat leave or have the baby the gift is for the baby that you collect for usually. So why does the fact your work is buying a gift for an employees baby due really so bad?

ollieplimsoles · 03/02/2017 20:19

Hmm, I can't see a problem with it, I think your judgement might be a bit clouded.

Would you still buy a gift for a woman going on maternity leave if you didn't much like her?

Redcrayons · 03/02/2017 20:19

I've contributed to a collection when men have had babies. its fairly normal I would have thought, you're buying gifts for the baby.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 03/02/2017 20:20

Depends what it is? If it's for him or the baby. I bought my male manager a gift for both of his 2 kids when his wife was expecting

NoCleanClothes · 03/02/2017 20:20

The gift is usually baby stuff so it makes sense to give to expectant father as much as mother although I agree it's not usually 'done'.

MrsDesireeCarthorse · 03/02/2017 20:21

Is this buying the man a present for himself, or for his baby? Latter = normal. Former - never heard of it!

Bokky · 03/02/2017 20:21

My colleague and I bought our ex boss a dad to be gift when he was finishing for paternity leave and he absolutely loved it. He was really touched that we'd thought of him.

Trifleorbust · 03/02/2017 20:21

Why not? I think that is really lovely. Obviously you're not obliged to contribute if you don't like him or don't want to.

Original poster
CatchTheRainbow · 03/02/2017 20:22

I've just never come across it before, I suppose because a woman can be leaving work for sometimes up to a year so it's like a goodbye too.

OP posts:
NewtScamandersNaughtyNiffler · 03/02/2017 20:23

When I had ds1 (12 years ago) his colleagues clubbed together and gave him £50 mothercare vouchers.
It was lovely and we were so touched that they had thought of us.

NapQueen · 03/02/2017 20:23

But when you've given money for collections for mums to be, has the gift always been a gift for her? Or is it a gift for the baby?

dingdongdigeridoo · 03/02/2017 20:24

I think it's nice. Now that there's shared parental leave it may become more common.

If you don't like the guy then don't feel pressured to donate though.

Original poster
CatchTheRainbow · 03/02/2017 20:25

If you don't like the guy then don't feel pressured to donate though.

We're quite a small team though.

OP posts:
frenchknitting · 03/02/2017 20:26

Totally normal, in my experience.

BlondeBecky1983 · 03/02/2017 20:26

We gave an expectant dad at my work a baby shower - a meal in the pub and a basket of baby stuff. Smile

BadKnee · 03/02/2017 20:36

We always have.They get a card, a present, flowers when the baby is born.

I like the men I work with.

SalemSaberhagen · 03/02/2017 20:37

When we had our DD, DP had loads of gifts and clothes given for the baby, as well as a JL voucher. I thought it was lovely.

Ewock · 03/02/2017 20:38

My dh work clubbed together to buy him a basket of gifts for our baby. I was touched and grateful that they thought of us. I may be the one giving birth but dd is both our child so nice for dh to be thought of as well.

fuzzywuzzy · 03/02/2017 20:39

Same as pp's I've contributed to a gift for a new dad it was exactly the same as gifts for new mum i.e. baby stuff

harderandharder2breathe · 03/02/2017 20:41

Gift for baby is normal regardless of which parent it is. If you don't like him either don't give money, or if you don't want to be judged, give a token amount.

Bantanddec · 03/02/2017 20:43

I've bought a male colleague a gift for his new baby before, it's his baby too!

Scribblegirl · 03/02/2017 20:46

I've done this. It's a huge event. DP will get a wedding card/collection when we get married even though we'll be back within the week (postponed honeymoon) - in the same way I will. Baby would be the same thing in my view.

londonrach · 03/02/2017 20:46

My dh work gave us some lovely flowers, play gym (still being used daily 6 months later, rabbit and some clothes. They were as excited as my work colleagues. In fact two of his colleagues on finding out dd was a girl at the scan gave dh a card and a girl item. They all knew what it meant to dh and me. Dh took dd in to meet show off to his collleagues as well. Yabu! Dd is a big important person in dh life as well as mine!

SelfObsessionHoney · 03/02/2017 20:46

I think it's a nice idea

livingthegoodlife · 03/02/2017 20:50

my dh's colleagues bought us a baby gift and a bouquet of flowers. It was lovely.