Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you don't buy gifts for expectant fathers?

83 replies

CatchTheRainbow · 03/02/2017 20:17

I'm referring to work.

It's very usual to buy the expectant mother a present when she's about to start her maternity leave.

This is the first time I've been asked to give towards buying a gift for an expectant father.

I really do not like the guy so my judgement may be clouded. Aibu to think it's not normal?

OP posts:
tinydancer88 · 03/02/2017 20:51

Sounds totally normal and nice to me.

squiz81 · 03/02/2017 20:55

YABU. My husband's team got us lovely gifts for both of our sons and I got flowers each time from them.

When I worked, we got a gift for my male manager when he had a baby.

NerrSnerr · 03/02/2017 20:55

We got a Mothercare voucher, a baby book, a teddy and a small outfit from my husband's work when our daughter was born. Was really lovely of them.

Glitteryfrog · 03/02/2017 20:56

We bought a guy in our team a card, present and a voucher for his new baby.

It would be weird not to acknowledge that he's now a father.

ToastyFingers · 04/02/2017 05:25

DP got some lovely little gifts from the people he works with when both dds were born, the company also sent flowers. I thought it was really lovely, as I was already a SAHM when dd2 was born, so she didn't get the same fuss made of her as dd1.

steff13 · 04/02/2017 05:30

We always do at my office.

OnceIWas7YearsOld · 04/02/2017 05:37

I had a weird experience with this.

In my office it was utterly standard for a woman going on mat leave to have a wee presentation in the meeting room. Cards, flowers, gift for the baby. It was a very female-dominated workplace at that time.

I shared an office with one of the only males, and we became good friends, he was a lovely bloke. His wife was due to have their baby by c section over the Christmas break, so when we finished up for the Christmas hols he was taking his two weeks paternity leave (and an additional week of annual leave) on the other side. So wouldn't be back till February.

I organised a card and collection, bought a card, cake and a baby gift in the standard manner.

I got so many negative comments from others in the office! "He's a man, do we do collections for men now??" "It's not like hes having the baby is it?" and my personal favourite, "i don't like to buy baby gifts for unborn children it's tempting fate" - funny how this was never an issue the other times you contributed to a baby gift for a woman in the office Hmm

He was well liked within the office as well. To this day I don't see how it was any different to buying a baby gift for a woman who was going off on mat leave.

Redglitter · 04/02/2017 05:43

We have collections when babies are born regardless of if it's the mum or dad who works with us

ItalianWiking84 · 04/02/2017 06:21

Dh employer sent flowers after the birth of dd and the colleagues gave dd a toy basket. At my work we collect money for a gift for the baby, so both a male and female colleague gets a gift and my employer always sends a flower after the birth.

ItalianWiking84 · 04/02/2017 06:25

And I would also contribute even if I ease the that find of the colleague. We always chip in 2£ per person, which is the same as a fizzy so hardly ruining me.

Me624 · 04/02/2017 06:30

Yep we collect for men too, they usually get a gift for the baby once it's born whereas women get it before they go off on mat leave but same idea!

SmallBee · 04/02/2017 06:36

Both times my DC were born DH was given a lovely assortment of gifts for our baby.i don't see why it's unusual.
But if you don't like him don't do it.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 04/02/2017 06:47

My exH's work did a collection for both of our children. Thought it was normal?

They even did a collection for when I went in to hospital and had surgery for something completely unrelated to childbirth!

RockyTop · 04/02/2017 06:57

Totally normal in my experience

BoomBoomsCousin · 04/02/2017 06:57

My DH got gifts for our twins from his colleagues when I gave birth, and I've given to collections for fathers at every place I've worked at for the last 30 years.

FrizzBombDelight · 04/02/2017 06:59

A whip round is very common in my work place for a mum, dad, granny or granda.

sillygoof · 04/02/2017 08:00

My husband's work was more generous than mine was by far! A collection but also individual gifts from his friends for our baby. At first I thought you meant the collection was for a gift for the dad himself, which I would find a little odd I must admit (what would they get him? PlayStation games or something??). But baby gifts to a new parent are lovely regardless of whether it is the mum or dad.

debbs77 · 04/02/2017 08:07

Why wouldn't you? I think it's a lovely idea!

My ex MIL was brought a grandparent gift from work!

DesolateWaist · 04/02/2017 08:10

I suppose because a woman can be leaving work for sometimes up to a year so it's like a goodbye too.

What about people getting married. We give something to them and they come back after a couple of weeks.

DianaMemorialJam · 04/02/2017 08:10

We had ds2 in December and another man's wife in my husbands office is due in a few months

Recently a woman announced her pregnancy in the office and the team leader said 'the first xxxx company baby!'

Both my husband and the other guy were a bit Hmm

c3pu · 04/02/2017 08:17

When my 2nd child was born I was given a card and small toy for the baby. I thought it was very kind and I was grateful.

In contrast to my old job my colleagues just gave me a slap in the nuts and told me I was lucky for getting time off.

Pleasedonteatchalk · 04/02/2017 08:18

YABVU!

We had beautiful gifts for the baby from my DHs work. Actually far more generous than at my work, perhaps DH is better liked than I am Blush

We also took the baby in to show him off and took a card and chocolates to say thanks. Exactly the same as my work, I can't see why it wouldn't be.

littlebunnyhophophop · 04/02/2017 08:19

Dp got presents before he went off on paternity leave when we had dd the presents were for dd though , maybe donate an outfit for the baby?

d270r0 · 04/02/2017 08:26

Yes it is definitely normal. In my work we have given joint gifts to expectant fathers and when I had my babies my dh ws given gifts from his work. Why on earth would it not be appropriate?

SEsofty · 04/02/2017 08:32

Presents once baby born completely normal. And also really important in recognising that life will change for both parents

Swipe left for the next trending thread