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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to tell DH I might have norovirus

44 replies

CactusFred · 02/02/2017 21:30

So I just had to pull the car over and vomit. Lovely I know! Felt a bit off all day but carried on anyway.

Anyway DH has a real vomit phobia and would immediately start to panic that he will get it etc.

We are supposed to go away this weekend for his birthday and DS will stay at my mum's. If DH knows I've vomited he'll quarantine himself and DS away from me and refuse to come near me until 48hrs clear which means no weekend away.

Chances are I'll be fine by tomorrow anyway and he never needs to know (unless I puke again and he hears).

On a selfish I don't want to have to put up with him stressing for days and for his sake I don't want him to miss his weekend away as we are doing all things he likes etc.

AIBU keeping it from him if I can?

OP posts:
PollytheDolly · 02/02/2017 21:31

No. He's on a need to know basis and he doesn't need to know this Grin

SarcasmMode · 02/02/2017 21:33

One off I wouldn't tell him.

If it happens again I'd tell him though as it might be a nastier strain.

paxillin · 02/02/2017 21:33

If it is Noro, chances are he caught it. If not, the quarantine would be pointless. No need to tell.

Original poster
CactusFred · 02/02/2017 21:36

I had it in November and was quarantined for 5 nights!! ( Bed to myself was bliss!) Neither of them got it then thankfully.

Anyway, fingers crossed and hopefully he'll remain none the wiser!

OP posts:
user892 · 02/02/2017 21:36

YABU. His feelings are real and by keeping secrets from him you are effectively making a fool out of him. I would be extremely offended if you were my partner. It's highly disrespectful.

If it is noro though you'll likely go downhill fast and you won't be able to hide it.

SarcasmMode · 02/02/2017 21:37

Noro is vile - hope you don't have it.

Just don't kiss him and then you can say you tried your best for him not to get it.(

Crumbs1 · 02/02/2017 21:39

Hand wash, hand wash, hand wash.

PovertyPain · 02/02/2017 21:39

What if you pass it onto your child and he passes it to your mum? I know everyone thinks it's funny, but it's a very nasty illness for older/vulnerable people in particular. Are you prepared to take that risk for a weekend away?

PovertyPain · 02/02/2017 21:39

What if you pass it onto your child and he passes it to your mum? I know everyone thinks it's funny, but it's a very nasty illness for older/vulnerable people in particular. Are you prepared to take that risk for a weekend away?

Original poster
CactusFred · 02/02/2017 21:43

Okay point taken.

He's asleep now. I'll tell him tomorrow if I'm still unwell. Am hoping 'one of those things' and not noro.

And I understand his phobia is real I just figured ignorance is bliss because he really does make himself unwell worrying about it.

OP posts:
KinderSurprised · 02/02/2017 21:45

I have a huge vomit phobia, any sign of sickness & you can remove yourself from my house, its not something i enjoy being paranoid about, its horrible to try & avoid but I try keep my home & family vomit free... As for dh stay clear of him for the night & see how you feel tomorrow :(

LostSight · 02/02/2017 21:54

Wash your hands well, try not to handle anyone else' food and play it by ear perhaps?

Don't forget to disinfect the steering wheel and anything else you might have handled. (Can you tell I share your DH's paranoia?)

If you had actual norovirus in November, you'd be quite unlucky to have it again so soon. Might you have eaten something dodgy?

Five nights of quarantine? How many days were you ill? I usually reckon the danger is pretty much past if we all pass the 48 hour mark.

GallivantingWildebeest · 02/02/2017 22:07

Why would it be noro? Much more likely just to be a sickness bug.

I'm an emetophobe and I can see where you're coming from, but tbh I'd tell your dh. You risk losing his trust otherwise. And if you are contagious, and he catches it, he'll be angry you didn't tell him.

Floggingmolly · 02/02/2017 22:10

If you actually have norovirus; he's going to notice... Don't you think??

TheFairyCaravan · 02/02/2017 22:11

I'm an emetophobe. My DH wouldn't come into the bedroom if I was asleep and he'd just come in after puking on the way home.

You would be being really unreasonable and very selfish to go anywhere near him or your child and you really should let him know when he wakes.

Claireshh · 02/02/2017 22:16

The last time I had norovirus my husband was going through partnership process that week and was stresse out his head. His mum and dad were here. I went down with it first, then my one year old, then the three year old, then my Mil and then FIL. My husband never caught it!!

Lorelei76 · 02/02/2017 22:17

Yabvvvvvu

Btw last time I had noro it fucked up my digestion for ages. Give him the chance to avoid it. Otherwise - and I never say this - you deserve norovirus.

Lorelei76 · 02/02/2017 22:18

And ffs tell your poor mum too.

BillyDaveysDaughter · 02/02/2017 22:24

Speaking as an emetophobe, I urge you most strongly to tell him. If my DH kept something like that from me it would ruin us, as I would never trust him again...It is absolutely my biggest fear, to the extent that I would rather off myself than vomit, and if he thought it was no big deal to just pretend I wasn't being exposed it would change the way I felt about him forever. He would tell me, we'd write off the weekend and move into emergency quarantine mode, and go away another time.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that we are a massive pain and I get that it's frustrating for you, our long suffering spouses! But please, please tell him and let him sort himself out. Then you can get on with being ill guilt free and he can deal with his demons however he needs to.

Hope you feel better and it's a one off.

kali110 · 02/02/2017 22:28

Yabvu. Completely agree with poverty.

Noro is can be awful for the elderly or people with illnesses.
When i had it i couldn't stop being sick for 4 or 5 days.
I'm crossing my fingers i don't get it again!

user892 · 02/02/2017 22:38

Why would it be noro? Much more likely just to be a sickness bug

Because most sickness bugs do tend to be noro; as it's the most easily spread. Just 5 particles are enough to come down with it (and lots of people don't realise it's a virus - rendering antibacterial gel worse than useless).

If someone's sick with noro, they need to change their clothes, wash their hands and face ideally with an antiviral gel / foam and wipe down all possible contaminated surfaces with bleach or chlorine. Also - flushing the loo after vomiting (if they don't put the seat down) can cause a cloud of noro particles to plume up into the air and settle on surfaces, any toothbrushes left out etc.

Ugh. Sickness bugs are usually noro. I'd pay ££££s for an annual vaccine.

Sallystyle · 02/02/2017 22:48

I wouldn't tell my teen son who is an emetophobe. He asks me all the time if I've been around noro at work and because I have been since Xmas it is easier to say no. However, last time he got really bad it turned into an eating disorder and he going painfully thin and unwell. I am now wondering if I shouldn't be keeping it from him?

A grown adult? I would have said not to tell him, but after reading what the emetophobes have said I guess that isn't a good thing to do after all.

7SunshineSeven7 · 02/02/2017 22:50

I have this phobia and would rather not know. Just make sure you wash your hands and do everything not to pass it on to him, its nice you're so thoughtful and understanding of his condition.

SingingInTheRainstorm · 02/02/2017 22:54

I think others have put across really well that you're doing DH an injustice and acting like he's a silly child. It's a real phobia. Although if you've been sick once I'd ask why do you think you have Norovirus and not just eaten something dodgy.

Have you been sick since or do you just feel grim? I thought Norovirus meant it was projectile, little warning & coming from both ends?

SingingInTheRainstorm · 02/02/2017 22:55

PS. Something has triggered this in your husband, you need to be supportive. Plus think again about going away, thinking of all the people who could get infected if it is viral.

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