To live most of my life in my own head

[LionRichie]

Today, in between playing with the toddler and doing all the boring house shit that comes with being a SAHP, I've spent maybe 80% of my time fantasising about a life in which I'm kidnapped by a hot 19th century highwayman. Turns out I'm an amazing sword fighter even in a corset and flowing dress.

Does anyone else make up these complex imaginary scenarios or am I going insane?! AIBU to spend most of my time in my own daydreams and not care?

Yes I wondered if other people did this as children, I certainly did. One was that I had a tiny friend who was basically a Genie who lived in a purse (??) I felt a great deal of responsibility and love for her and we talked for hours.
I also went to magic lands, similar to Narnia quite a lot. Avid and early reader, perhaps a link?

Yes! I have found my people. Thank you all! I have done this for as long as I can remember. Mostly on dog walks & I get REALLY annoyed if I see another dog walker who wants to chat & then ruin my fun.

BigbyWolf I do academic admin/office work. It can be challenging, but when it's not I'm completely away with the fairies.

I'm a SAHM with a 3 year old and a 2 year old and a husband who's been away with work for three weeks. I'm currently half daydreaming, half legitimately wondering what minor crime I could commit that might get me a night in the cells so I can have a break. They bring you tea in a police cell right?

I'm writer. Anything from plays, books and song lyrics. Although I'm very in with all the celebs im not in the limelight myself I also write under an alias so my friends don't know it's me. I often read a book or listen to a song and claim it as my own. Sometimes I even work out how much I earned from it😶. And you want to see my house, it's gorgeous, surrounded by loads of land, indoor pool and bar. Oh and the dinner partys are amazing! My neighbours all love me even though they are slightly jelouse (my naighbours are people off the TV, salt webster is one) I've had a boobs lift and have my own gym and nutritionist so I'm 2 sizes smaller too. My family is exactly the same though apart from my dog my dog has been to professional training and is well behaved

I'm an extrovert BTW. My dd has also been blessed with my imagination. Could listen to her play alone for hours

Ugh all my day dreams involve dh. That makes me really sad right?

I'm spending an awful lot of time with Cap'n Poldark lately.

I generally live which ever book or series I happen to be escaping into in the evenings once everyone else is in bed.

I blame my husband, if he was more exciting I would be imagining scenarios with him instead!

I spend a fair amount of time in 18th century Cornwall too! But the 1970's version is my Ross... 😍

Hope -
Good fantasy just keep your mitts off Coulson! He is all mine

Wow, this is totally me too! Although I'm definitely an extrovert, but grew up as an only child until 12 years old, and have always been an avid reader.

I've had my own imaginary lives to keep me company before going to sleep and when walking/travelling anywhere on my own since I was about 10. I've got 7 distinctly separate and very different narratives, each with their own series of characters and back stories. Some involve a couple of famous people/characters from books or TV/film, and in some all the characters are totally made up, based on random people I've met over the years. Some I visit regularly, others have been "on the shelf" for a few years.

Being an extrovert and a real "people-person", I find my imaginary lives have been like a set of familiar friends to hang out with to help me cope with times that I'm alone. So, during times in my life when I've had a lot of people round me all the time, the stories in my head got a bit neglected. But now my job involves a lot of travel, so I spend many happy hours on trains and in airports living in my imaginary worlds.

I read all the time to my 6 year old DS, and he also has a vivid imagination. We make up lots of stories together and have a couple of our own shared imaginary worlds (based around his playmobile people and his Lego people) that we act out with his toys when playing together at home, and continue the stories verbally when we are out on a walk somewhere. Those toys have some wild adventures!!!

I always tell my DS what a great gift imagination is....that he will never be bored or lonely if he can make up his own stories.

It's amazing to hear that doing this is so common!! I'm glad it's not just me.....

Well I'm well into my fifties and no sign of my inner life waning here! I've always had a really active imagination and as others have said i have a whole library of very detailed fantasies which I take out or put back at will.

Some have lasted many years and I revise them and replay them from time to time. Sometimes I "write' a new one for the library from an idea I have. It's way more interesting inside my head than in the outside world. I always "run" a fantasy before I sleep and, as some other people have said, I'm often quite pleased if I wake up in the night and therefore have extra thinking time.

It is definitely a stress and boredom reliever, but it is also just a really enjoyable hobby. I have no intention of giving it up. Also an introvert and an avid reader.

I have never told anyone about this before although I suspect my teenage DC do it too. After supper we all race to our respective rooms to get in some solid thinking time :) Would be interesting to know if there is a genetic component!

i'm so glad it's not just me! like many others here i tend towards introversion and i've preferred living in my own head as long as i can remember. i'm not remotely shy, i just love a nice block of time with just my own thoughts for company. it really is just the adult version of imaginative play, i think. i've always been fascinated by people who do historical reenactment and live action role play - it's not for me but i totally get the appeal of it.
i hope i never stop daydreaming

I'd always assumed that everyone does this!

Almost all of my daydreams start with me interacting with people I know in real life, but in situations we wouldn't usually find ourselves in ... I regularly get trapped in collapsed/avalanched buildings with random acquaintances and have to survive and escape or be rescued by handsome firemen and paramedics. Nothing sexy in these daydreams, but everyone does seem to be incredibly good looking and kind!

Or, I am incredibly brilliant at something (musical instrument/ sport / any other skill) and my daydream charts my unstoppable rise to worldwide fame and fortune. Then I often decide to give it all up after being betrayed by a close friend or trusted advisor and live a simple life on a beech on my fantasy island populated with (handsome) men and my loyal dog.

Occasionally I take over the persona of a character in a book I've been reading and we head off into fan-fic territory and these ones can get a bit weird... but since its my daydream I can always re-run it and change things around!

Wow this is fascinating. I do it now and again but mine are short and relate to people I know in real life

BigbyWolf I'm a middle manager in a large corporate office - I wouldn't say the job suits my introverted nature very well - it's the sort of environment where you have to appear very enthusiastic and use loads of silly buzz-words. On the other hand, it does force me to interact with others, and my colleagues are pleasant people - if I had a job where I worked on my own, I'd probably just drift off all the time and get nothing done!

I'm always really slim and somehow never have to shave and my hair is perfect, I don't need much make up and I look good in anything. Aaah to daydream

Licked
well of course you are You can be anyone you want to be in your own story!
I am slim but curvey (think Buffy or Faith!) auburn haired (which isnt flyaway grrrr) a bit taller and kick ass tough, but of course a softy inside.

(God I wish )

I'm always a physically idealised version of myself in fantasies. Although, when I was a child I used to have a lot of 'virtuous and cruelly treated Victorian orphan rescued by rich benefactor' type fantasies, so in those I styled myself as a filthy, starving workhouse waif.

I'm not saying that everyone who does this does it for this reason but...

I think daydreaming can be brilliant for anyone who wasn't able to fully socialise as a child, whether due to being in some way neurodivergent, being abused/bullied, being unable to spend enough time with others due to strong introversion, or being a bit isolated physically (no siblings/living somewhere out of the way).

I'm sure daydreaming about situations genuinely helped me practice my social skills when I didn't really have anywhere else safe to do so. Most successful behaviours I've learned I learned to start with by observing them in others as a third party and then roleplaying with them inside my own mind.

And of course "in times of stress you regress", so if your childhood didn't provide you with a solid enough foundation in socialising, it can help to go back over everything mentally from time to time, or even regularly. And the longer you go on having ok social skills, the better your chances of hanging onto them in times of stress, so the less need you might have to brush up on them, which could be one explanation for some people needing to daydream less as they get older.

That also goes for emotional processing. I think there's a reason they're called day dreams. Those of us who take a little more time to understand, or articulate, or come to terms with, how we feel might benefit more than others do from processing what's going on with us in this way. It can be like having your own therapist inside your head; always available and much cheaper than in person!

I don't know how people who don't daydream do process stuff, really, but perhaps they don't have such difficultly doing so in the first place. Though if that were the case I'd expect them to be healthier psychologically, and I'm not aware of any reason to think that that's true.

WesternMeadowlark

I must admit I have to rehearse the most ordinary interactions in my head - things like phoning someone to book an appointment, buying a train ticket or saying 'Hello' to an acquaintance I've spotted in the distance - I have a fear that I'll say something completely inappropriate and thus out myself as 'weird'. I think 'what would a normal person say in this situation' and try to copy that.

Conversely, difficult conversations don't usually faze me - I was happy to volunteer to be the one at work who tackled a colleague about an awkward personal habit, for instance; to speak to the auditors when we'd failed on something, and similar. Obviously, those conversations went through the same rehearsal process - I watch a film of the discussion playing out, and if it goes off track, rewind and redo until I get the result I want.

I don't know if any other fantasists find this. If so, perhaps if you're the sort of person who never has to think about everyday interactions, it seems very challenging suddenly to face a conversation that does require rehearsal; or perhaps it's that more generally, fantasists (including extroverts) are used to unlikely conversations in their heads so the real life versions don't bother them as much.

Or it might just be that I really am weird .

I've found my people.

Raging introvert here too.

I imagine I'm all sorts of different people, in different countries, doing different jobs. Sometimes I'm a man or an animal.

Highwaymen!

Ooh my people! I'm an introvert and avid reader who "sees" what I'm reading, so it can be very easy for me to drift off into whatever book I'm reading and stay in that world.

I tried meditation before and always vividly remember having this white expanse with thoughts going around like tumble weed and a stick man with a brush gathering them to put them in a big box, the idea being that I would have reached a mindless state when he had cleared everything and climbed into the box... Then I would be wandering around marvelling at the echoiness lol

I still do this and DH has been known to poke me back to reality, where he gets growled at for his efforts because it's like rising from a deep sleep.

Yes.
I'm an introvert who loves to read and be alone. I also have a big family and busy job. I've had the same detailed fantasy world in my head for 30 years. Based on some real people (musicians). It's my happy place and I write stories too. Over the years I've actually got to know some of the people and it's very weird when fact intrudes upon fiction but I also like it. It doesn't make a difference to my daily life, it's my secret.