MIL didn't get me a birthday present

[Hairsprayinthesink]

Name change, because of the nature.

MIL didn't get me a birthday present. It shouldn't matter, I know this. Nobody has to buy anyone a birthday present obviously. But I'm still quite hurt. In the 5 years I've been with DH she's never missed a birthday and I've never missed hers or FIL's. My own DM bought DH a quite expensive and thoughtful gift for his birthday recently. I know that shouldn't matter and I'm being extremely grabby and entitled but I can't help but feel slightly overlooked and rejected.

I tried to gently mention it to DH and it became an opportunity for him to have a go at me. This included, she does all sorts for me, she's spent up after Christmas (but has been out for expensive meals at least once a week since), at least she isn't as annoying as my own mum. I didn't think my own mum was that annoying really. But I feel like she's just sending yet another message that she still doesn't like me. There's some back story to it that makes me think she's never liked me.

I don't know what else to say, could do with a couple more opinions. Aibu?

fuck her, pretend you didn't notice and tell her what fab gifts you had off your own DM. That's crap. Next present you get her make sure its a regift,

I'm early-mid twenties

I know this shouldn't matter.

I hate this kind of passive aggressive behavior.

I know someone whose OWN MOTHER stopped sending them a birthday card

The cause of this? Because the daughter wouldn't be facebook friends with the mother

What?! "at least she isn't as annoying as my own mum."

Your husband managed to insult your mother after receiving an expensive gift from her?

I'd be telling him since he's made his true feelings known, he should return the gift.

Exactly what Stef said.

Fuck her and give her something seriously shit for her birthday.

Oh. And also get your DH a shit present (or no present) for his!

You aren't being grabby. . Imagine if you didn't buy her one. . Maybe try that. . Or leave it to your dh to get her one from now on. .

NavyandWhite

OOps Sorry, it must be the mood I woke up in. Im usually a lot less aggressive. I take it you have seen my comments on other threads... Sorry if I offended :-(

Last year none of my boyfriends family acknowledged my birthday, not his mum, kids or any other family, however his grandma kicked up a fuss when I didn't wish her a happy birthday

Take a step back. Is there the possibility that your MIL is dealing with something in her life right now?

When ds was born, MIL wasn't quite as engaged as i thought she would be. We then found out a few weeks later that she needed to start treatment for breast cancer. She kept it from us so that we wouldn't worry in those first precious weeks.

Sometimes, people have things on their plate. That's all.

There are two issues here: your MIL being PA (unless it's possible she's forgotten?) and your DH being an absolute wanker.

Personally, I'd be more concerned with the latter. But that's just me.

What about FIL? Surely the gift should have been from both of them?

Oh, and if you want to be equally PA and completely immature, send her a text saying "thank you so much for the lovely birthday gift" then wait a couple of minutes and send "oops, sorry. Wrong person."

All I can think of that has 'happened' is that we moved from the town PILs live in to the town my DM lives in. Perhaps that offends her. I also suspect she dislikes that DH works whilst I'm a SAHM. Think I'll leave her present for DH to sort then, her birthday is a couple of weeks away.

Mine has literally never sent me a birthday card or got me a present. In ten years!

Namechange fail!

But, yes, let your dh sort out his mum's and you'll sort out your "annoying" mum's.

And while you're at it, ask him how he's enjoying his gift from your "annoying" mother.

Thanks NavyandWhite :-)
I would be interested in hearing the backstory OP? scene as I like others assumed the MIL was just being nasty.

How odd. Your name changed back after I posted!

Yes I should should have mentioned FIL too, usually the gift buying is left up to MIL however so it's her who I lve taken issue with.

As others have said, she may have something going on in the background you are unaware of, what would concern me is your husbands reaction. He took it as an opportunity to lay a load on you about your family? Who does that? Doesnt that strike you as odd?

mad I reported the post as soon as I'd posted it and mnhq were extremely obliging and changed it for me right away!

Backstory is just that she's never really wanted to let go of DH. She couldn't talk to me at all on my wedding day. Rearranged the whole house whilst we were on honeymoon (DH said we were 'a bit upset' by this when I was actually raging), she also upset me after ds' birth, as I'd had a tear and DH told her and she said, 'well I never tore, I don't understand that, why would that happen, that shouldn't happen' and DH told me all this and it made me feel like I'd done something horribly wrong.

Rivera yes. His reaction was strange. I'd hoped he'd understand why I was upset and not try to dismiss it and take his mother's side whilst also getting digs in at mine!

I'm almost certain there's nothing wrong in her life atm that would stop her getting me something.