DH asking pointless questions

[NotAUserNumberSoNotATroll]

I'm fully prepared to hear that I'm being ungrateful and grumpy but DH is currently driving me insane, is it just me being mean to his well meaning offers??

If I say no in answer to any question he can't just accept that "Are you sure?" "I really don't mind""Sure you're sure?"

If he decides to do anything he has to reassured of every detail every time "what program does the white wash go on?" "It is blue bin day this week isn't it?" "I'll just Hoover if that's ok?"

Is it just me? Any ideas on how to cope much needed please!

Don't answer him the second time. Just look at him.

Sounds quite normal to me. It sounds like the random chatter in every day lives. We do the same. “Just going to have my lunch, ok? Will I make you some? Are you sure?”. "Will I pop the washing on? 40 degrees?” “Will i walk the dog myself or do you want to come?"

Bluesky you would drive me mad.
Op yanbu

I'd be delighted if my DH ever did the washing, hoovering or put the bins out so I think YABU, just be grateful, mine does sod all!

bluesky that's what it's like, I don't mind asking about cooking or going out but if the washing always goes on 40, put it on 40!

I know I am lucky and should be very grateful but I spend so much time answering pointless needless questions I might as well stop what I'm doing and do "his" thing myself

bluesky are you Irish? When I read what you wrote it had a fine Cork accent to be sure

Charlie No, but i am Scottish. To be honest i spend a lot of time on my own during the week and i have these conversations wth the dog. Then when DH is home i enjoy any sort of chat. I think i drive DH a bit mad when he is working at home. If the door to his study is closed i know my chatter is not welcome.

This can work both ways. My DH once pointed out that I always ask him if he's 'sure' (he doesnt want a cuppa or a hand with the bins whatever). I didnt realise I did but he's right I do. Its kind of like a reflex.

We do both do this mundane chat - more like talking to ourselves. Sometimes one of us will say I'm just going to the shop, is that ok - we're not looking for approval! We're Scottish too!

My DM always used to say 'ask a silly question, get a silly answer'.

It works great on a classroom of primary kids "Miss, where's the scissors?'

on the same work surface behind you where they've been all year 'In the playground.'

You get a few startled looks the first couple of times you do it, then they generally laugh and catch on. Might be worth a try to save your sanity.

I hate this!

DP does it all the time and he can't see why it pisses me off.

Whilst making lunch - What shall I put in the salad? How much cheese should I grate? How long do I cook X for? Do I need to defrost it first?

Putting the washing on - What shall I wash? What setting on the washer?

Cleaning - Shall I wipe this? Where does this go?

FUCK OFF AND USE YOUR FUCKING BRAIN YOU HUMAN POTATO!

I essentially do all the thinking in our house.

Attention seeking.

'What program does the white wash go on?' is unsubtle code for 'Look at me doing the washing, can I have an enormous gold badge saying "I have performed an everyday task" ?'

uhm yes my boyfriend asks me a question, if he had a certain outcome in mind already and he doesn't like my answer..... he just asks me the same question again. but we've got issues so idk what to tell ya. it's manipulation imo.

It's not lucky!! It is not lucky to have your partner do the washing or hoovering. It's pretty fucking basic home maintenance. He doesn't deserve a blue Peter badge or a star on his arse. Tell him to just bloody get on with it and take an ad out in the paper if he really needs to announce his plans to hoover.

I feel your pain!

My OH does this all day, every day... Constant question asking about the most simple and basic of tasks around the house.. The 40 degree wash one is a classic!

He also has a habit of completing my sentences for me (and almost always gets it wrong..) and not giving a straight answer to a simple question himself, usually answers me with another question for a simple yes/no answer.

pulls hair out

Laughing at 'lucky' - my partner often does the washing - I'm not 'lucky' - they are his clothes too! And when he cooks dinner he is cooking his dinner too - they're not my jobs, he's not being a massive fucking hero by 'helping' me out with my little wifey tasks!

OP he's doing it on purpose in the hope that it will annoy you so much he won't have to do it again - get him told!

I also get the won't take no for an answer thing.

Do you want cheese on that - no thanks - are you sure, you love cheese, just a little bit? NO I DONT WANT ANY BLOODY CHEESE

When my 3 yo does it, I ask, "what do you think?" and usually get the correct answer

I have tried "what do you think?"

It is met with "You are being very patronising, why can't you just help me?"

USE YOUR BRAIN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A BABY

He also says its because I am fussy and he just wants to get it right. I am not fussy, I am a slattern who wants things done as fast as possible so I can spend the day on the sofa.

Agree with Kurri, it's attention seeking, making sure you note that he's done what is essentially an everyday mundane task.

If my DH asks a dumb arse question like "what programme does the white wash go in" he gets this face -> along with "how long have we owned this washing machine? Is this really the first time you've put any whites on? You manage to run a whole company, I'm sure you'll be able to work it out dickhead".

HUMAN POTATO?!?!

Having that

Human potato!!!! Brilliant
If i ask DP to get some milk he'll ask why has it finished?
No i want to wear it on my head like a hat....

Hahaha!! Human potato, I love it! Maybe your DH and mine are from the same crop

I hadn't thought of it as attention seeking, he knows to do his fair share of chores or they won't get done, but agree he definitely wants a sodding badge for doing it

I also get the "what's up with you? Why are you in a mood" if I snap at him for it. Obviously needs more training

I think you're kind of mean and petty. The man is consulting with you to ensure he is completing certain tasks properly..not all of us can remember the washing program or which bin goes when. Your DH sounds loving and considerate. Find something else to complain about.