AIBU about my mums dog in my house

[Snifftest]

I’ll start off by saying I’m not anti dog. I like them, had them growing up and intend to get one again in the future when we have more time.
But, my mum has gone and bought a puppy. She’s recently retired so has time etc, so great for her, it’ll keep her company, get her exercise etc etc. And it is adorable. However, she does childcare for us one day a week and now ‘needs’ to bring the puppy with her. I understand, the puppy can’t be left alone all day but AIBU to not want it in my house?

• We are trying to sell the house so want it clean and smell free.
• We have 2 cats, who haven’t been around dogs so naturally don’t like them. They are male cats and when stressed one does spray, even though he’s been neutered.
• I don’t want DS (13months) around the dog. My sister was bitten by our very friendly, good tempered dog when she was about 4, so you just never know and I feel a playful puppy is an accident waiting to happen.

Mum asked to do the childcare – she lives about an hour from us so never even hoped that’d we’d get family support, we are very grateful. We don’t pay her, we offered but she has asked that we save what we would have been spending on that day’s child care and put it towards something big at the end of the year. So I don’t really feel I can say no, but I want to.

I'm also a bit peeved that she chose to buy a dog, rather than adopt one from a rescue, but that's my issue.

AIBU? I've said I'm not happy but she can bring it this week as there's no other option and it can live in the kitchen and garden for the day - I'm not a monster, I'll give it a water bowl and an old blanket as a bed.

Puppy may well damage your house with chewing! Not good of you want to sell.

Ours gnawed the corners off the skirting...

Glad you've spoken to your mum. It does sound as if she hadn't thought it through at all! And she's unreasonable to be annoyed with you. Perfectly reasonable for you not to want a puppy in the house given that you have cats and you're selling. And so presumptuous of her to assume you would look after the dog when she goes away without even discussing it with you! She will have to find a kennels or dog sitter.

I was waiting for the 'she's asked us to dogsit ' when you said she regularly holidays abroad. Bit daft of her to go ahead with the dog before checking you'd be happy to have it. I would absolutely refuse to have the pup at my house, totally because it will stress the cats. I regret very much getting a puppy when I still had the cats. They did not get on and I hate that I stressed them out.

Puppies can be very destructive and no way would I want one when I was trying to sell the house.

Aaaarrrrggggghhh! Nursery now don't have availability for the day my mum did so we are going to have to find a child-minder/ alternative childcare which is actually going to cost MORE than if I'd have just kept him in full time nursery from the off.

I'm really annoyed that she hasn't given us any notice, has just presumed she can bring the dog with her and didn't factor her other commitments in to her decision to get a dog.

Sorry but I do think yabu. What a wonderful thing for your DC to have a day with an obviously devoted grandmother, who is so keen to see her DG she drives 140 miles a day and you want to end it because of a puppy and a cat! I'm sure there is a far more reasonable solution.

So what's your solution questioning? Mum can't leave the dog and won't leave it anywhere else and I can't risk it destroying something in my home whilst we are selling it. So what is the solution? After we move it won't be an issue.

This is a dog with an adult present. Not a dog left unattended all day. (which is when they chew). I'd have her bring the puppy. Never leave it unsupervised and bring a crate if necessary. Get a stair gate or whatever makes it work.

A puppy in a house one day a week will absolutely not create a dog smell.

This is your DM and her relationship wth her grandchild here.

I would bite my right arm off for my DM (who's lovely, but totally unreliable) DF (lives overseas) or PILs (one in a wheelchair and one with dementia) to have a day a week with my DCs. That is something special and worth trying to find a work around for.

I'm afraid collies can and do chew even if there is someone home all day. My neighbour walks hers twice during school hours and is in all the time with it. It's made quite a mess.
Look at it this way, you've saved a bit not having to pay for that day, look at other nurseries, there will be spaces coming up. There will be a movement at Easter and again at summer as people stop paying for nursery July if they can as they start school.

Stand firm. Quite unreasonable of your mum to presume it would be OK.

I said upthread my dd was bitten on the face by a dog. It was a border collie btw.

Your mother sounds a little bit bonkers if she just hoped you'd look after the dog without checking with you first.

Its the presumption that we'd be ok with it that I hate, if I hadn't messaged her saying 'ooh, I hear you got a puppy, exciting' I don't know that she wouldn't just have turned up with it. As it is, 2 days notice to find a solution, even if it was just put things out the way is a little off.

DH has said he doesn't want a dog in this house and given his reasons and I support him. It's a shame as I do think children benefit from a close relationship with grandparents and we simply can't replicate it on a weekend.

Your mum might have a change of heart and re home the puppy if she wants to continue to look after your DS. When she realises that it's going to stop her seeing him as much. You can't let her bring the puppy if your DH doesn't want.

Your mum might have a change of heart and re home the puppy if she wants to continue to look after your DS. When she realises that it's going to stop her seeing him as much. You can't let her bring the puppy if your DH doesn't want.

This is a dog with an adult present
Yes but an adult whose main charge is an infant.
I'd want all the attention focused on the infant.
It can be very wearing trying to keep them both out of trouble
at the same time.

Until recently we had 2 cats and still have a large dog. The cats didn't smell at all, whereas the dog is much more noticeable (probably because of the size of her).

It's the cat I feel sorry for

Poor thing. Thinks it has a lovely safe home and now is expected to just "suck up" having a strange dog round and get used to it.