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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To text my neighbour everytime she makes any type of noise

49 replies

brokenheartdog · 30/01/2017 11:27

Because she's doing my head in.
Our flats are a converted house. There is another flat upstairs which shares a communal hall with us and then two underneath.

Our downstairs neighbour moved in a couple of years ago.

Now I'm under no illusion we are silent but the kids are older so not running around and are out of the house from 7am to 5.30 and in bed at 9. At weekends we visit family. After school they are mostly on xbox tbh, no loud music, no screaming kids.

For some unknown reason our landlord kindly gave her our number a few months ago.Since then if we make any noise she texts.

Can hear the hoover or washer - she texts
Can hear the dc walking barefoot on carpeted floors (dd is flat footed) she texts
Dyspraxic dd dropped a book, she text making a huge fuss of the big bang.

The thing is she thinks she's silent yet when she's on shifts she wakes us up at 4am or 11pm slamming the door coming in. Her tv is loud and we can hear it.

I understand that noise is annoying but other than living in silence in not sure what else I can do.

OP posts:

Original poster

brokenheartdog · 30/01/2017 11:31

P.s I cannot just ignore or she knocks asking what the bang was.

OP posts:

Arkhamasylum · 30/01/2017 11:31

It's outrageous that your landlord gave her your number. Can you change it?

I think you should feel free to text if you do hear noise. People should be able to drop books in their own homes. It's not reasonable to expect you to be silent.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 30/01/2017 11:31

I wouldn't text her every time, but I would speak to her and tell her that she's being a fucking headcase her texting you every time you make the slightest noise needs to stop, especially as she's not so quiet yourself.

PoisonousSmurf · 30/01/2017 11:32

Go down there and confront her. What does she expect living in a flat? I'd do my nut if someone did this to me and make extra noise on purpose.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 30/01/2017 11:32

*not so quiet herself

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 30/01/2017 11:32

I'd change my phone number. And I'll admit that things like this are why I'll never live in a flat again. Years of sobbing in exhaustion from loud music and stamping. From both upstairs and downstairs neighbours.

Meeting her and asking if you can come in to hear the noise would be good. My neighbour downstairs thought I was moaning about nothing until I begged him to come in and listen to the level of the music. Then he was mortified.

Hereward1332 · 30/01/2017 11:34

Two issues - would it be better to speak to her face to face, saying that noise travels really easily, and you can hear every noise. She clearly doesn't realise.

If you feel like a fight, report your landlord to the information commissioner for breaching data protection law. He should not have given your phone number out.

AntiHop · 30/01/2017 11:34

She's being totally unreasonable but you shouldn't stoop to her level. Go and talk to her.

Original poster

brokenheartdog · 30/01/2017 11:38

I get that Vivienne I honestly do. We have lived with awful neighbours in the past, really bad anti social behaviour.

We are not playing loud music, one of the kids has sensory issues so its a no no.

I've no doubt the hoover, washer, flat footed child are loud but I make dd walk with no shoes with rugs and carpets and try to wash and hoover before 7pm and not early morning. Actually I try to do it when she is out but she only works 3 days a week.

OP posts:

PoisonousSmurf · 30/01/2017 11:38

Block her number as well.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 30/01/2017 11:39

I would have to point out that for every noise of yours she hears - washer, dryer, walking about, doors etc. you hear the exact same things from her!

It's how flats work.

Does she really think that she is the only one who can hear other people living in the building?

We had a similar situation when we lived in a flat. It was also a converted house, but there was just us on the first floor and another resident on the ground floor. In the end, we asked the downstairs neighbour to come & stand in our lounge and see what he could hear. The answer was that he could hear the same sounds coming from his flat (his wife hoovering with the TV on rather loud, opening & closing doors etc.) as he was complaining about hearing from us.

We needed to point out to him that it wasn't out fault the building wasn't soundproof & that our sounds weren't unreasonable. Just normal everyday life.

Could you do similar with your neighbour?

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 30/01/2017 11:41

our fault not out fault.

Original poster

brokenheartdog · 30/01/2017 11:42

I have spoken to her. She won't have it that WE can hear her.
She slags my dds walking off to neighbours and shop keepers and anyone who will listen.

Agent said to ignore her.
I've even said I'm willing to have put in a sound recorder from environmental health to prove to the landlord.

OP posts:

roseshippy · 30/01/2017 11:43

text her back for a week or so so she knows, then block her number

2cats2many · 30/01/2017 11:45

Definitely block her number. She sounds like a loon.

liz70 · 30/01/2017 11:45

I once had a downstairs neighbour who complained about us walking 🚶 around our flat. He even contacted EH. The cunt never mentioned the fact that he regularly had parties that went on till 3 or 4 a.m., two to three times a week, so including week days, when DH had to get up at 6.45 a.am. and we were up in the night with baby DD2, as well as toddler DD1. The music was so fucking loud our furniture would vibrate. Arsing hypocritical twat that he was.

We moved.

Cheerybigbottom · 30/01/2017 11:45

You could change your number, but I think the point would be better made if you did to her what she does.

Hi, I can hear you have the washing machine on spin.

Hi, you were in the shower a long time.

Hey, heard you yell ouch when there was a bang, you ok?

Omg I love that movie what channel is it on?

Seriously, I live in a terraced house with a single neighbour on one side who complains about every noise we make. She complains if my son is singing in the bath. She complains when my cats fight and tumble in the hall. She complains when the neighbours baby FOUR DOORS DOWN cried in his own garden. It makes you live in a constant state of anxiety and it is not fair! We all have the right to sing in the bath!

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 30/01/2017 11:46

Ah well, she's showing her colours. As long as the agency know you're not being a pain, you're fine in that respect. However, is want to take the landlord to task over dishing out your number. And still change your phone number or block her.

Stormwhale · 30/01/2017 11:46

I would reply to the next message with:

I have had enough of being harassed by you over normal family noise. We do not play loud music, scream or shout and I am as considerate as possible with noises such as hoovering and laundry. I will now be blocking your number to stop your unreasonable amount of contact. If you have any further complaints I would direct you to the council noise complaints department or environmental health.

Then block her number and complain to the landlord that they are bang out of order and have removed your right to peaceful enjoyment of your home.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 30/01/2017 11:48

In that case, I wouldn't even try to engage any further.

Every time she texts I would reply with something like "yes, we heard you come home from work at 4am - what a shame these flats aren't soundproofed" and leave it.

Does your upstairs neighbour have an issue with your noise level? Did your previous downstairs neighbour have an issue? If not, it does just sound as though she has a very unrealistic expectation of living in a flat.

If you never want to hear any kind of normal household noise from a neighbour then what you need is a detached house.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 30/01/2017 11:48

Fuck that then, she sounds like she needs a dose of her own medicine.

Text her when she makes noise, but I would keep it to unsociable hours, to make a point (i.e. not the petty shite she's pointing out to you, but when she has the TV loud, or when she wakes you up).

And buy some clogs.

cookiefiend · 30/01/2017 11:51

In those circumstances YANBU. Reply to her next text something like. "I am sorry you can hear noise from time to time. That is the nature of living in a flat under people. We do not make excessive noise and I have taken steps to ensure noise is kept to a minimum. We hear lots of noise from you too, especially when you return from night shift."

Then, if she keeps going or denies it then spend a few days texting every single time you hear noise. After a few solid days of doing it (be really fussy and do it for everything f you hear) send a text saying you find it exhausting having to text for every single noise you hear and you are sure she does too. Perhaps you could both agree to only text if there is excessive noise.

She sounds awful. Also I wouldn't worry about it- don't make your dc walk in socks etc. Be careful about crazy noise but don't let it stress you in a daily basis. If she wants silence she needs a detached house.

OhhBetty · 30/01/2017 11:59

It sounds like you're just making normal living noise! I'd speak to her face to face and tell her you'll be blocking her number. Then if she keeps banging on the door tell her you'll call the police. You shouldn't be afraid to move in your own home.

Although it might be more fun to text her every time she makes a noise. Or every time she texts you could reply with links to other properties she could move to. Or you could all take up tap dancing?

CripsSandwiches · 30/01/2017 12:04

She should live a few weeks below my old neighbours (crazy toddler who never left the house and barely slept running around with boots on hard wood floor and throwing thousands of marbles on the floor every two seconds). Impact noise is loud and annoying if you're sensitive to noise but if you don't like it you can't live in a downstairs flat.

Screwinthetuna · 30/01/2017 12:07

What a saddo. She chose to live in a flat, noise is expected. I'd complain to the landlord about it. Numerous house parties at 4 am, sure, anyone would get pissed off.
She should NOT be texting you about everyday noises you make. Good job she doesn't live in the same building as me and my kids ;)

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