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AIBU?

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Original poster

To text my neighbour everytime she makes any type of noise

49 replies

brokenheartdog · 30/01/2017 11:27

Because she's doing my head in.
Our flats are a converted house. There is another flat upstairs which shares a communal hall with us and then two underneath.

Our downstairs neighbour moved in a couple of years ago.

Now I'm under no illusion we are silent but the kids are older so not running around and are out of the house from 7am to 5.30 and in bed at 9. At weekends we visit family. After school they are mostly on xbox tbh, no loud music, no screaming kids.

For some unknown reason our landlord kindly gave her our number a few months ago.Since then if we make any noise she texts.

Can hear the hoover or washer - she texts
Can hear the dc walking barefoot on carpeted floors (dd is flat footed) she texts
Dyspraxic dd dropped a book, she text making a huge fuss of the big bang.

The thing is she thinks she's silent yet when she's on shifts she wakes us up at 4am or 11pm slamming the door coming in. Her tv is loud and we can hear it.

I understand that noise is annoying but other than living in silence in not sure what else I can do.

OP posts:
KatyBerry · 30/01/2017 12:07

her problem is not your normal living noise, it's the fact that she's working shifts and therefore perfectly normal usage of household machinery like the washing machine is disturbing her "middle of the night" when you're using it at perfectly reasonable times. Unfortunately, it's one of the problems with shift work / living in a flat.
Text her back saying that while you do your best to keep noise to reasonable levels, you are unable to deal with teh sound insulation on a rented flat and her anti social working hours, & woudl she mind not slamming the door so much during those anti social hours as it wakes everyone else up.

I'd probably also let the local shopkeeper know precisely what your daughter has to deal with but that might be going too far!

KatyBerry · 30/01/2017 12:08

(i'd also put a complaint in writing to the landlord about them divulging your sensitive personal data without consent - that's bang out of order.)

Serialweightwatcher · 30/01/2017 12:09

Are you not supposed to hoover or wash clothes - she's proper potty by the sounds of it and you need to text back that she is being ridiculous when these things are normal daily living noises - if she comes round just tell her that you can hear her doing this that and the other Hmm and let her know she is harassing you. If she persists, you need to continuously text her until she understands

HotWellies · 30/01/2017 12:09

I'd be tempted to every time she texts start jumping up and down really hard on the floor and screaming.

WholeFoods · 30/01/2017 12:09

I have some experience of that. Keep a diary of the neighbours contact and how it affected you, report their 'persistent texting behaviour and door knocking' to your Local Council.

Your number should not have been disclosed without your consent. You don't have to give a mobile number to the LL. The LL or any tenant should put things in writing with details how it affected them in a letter in the communal hall.

I don't know if you rent or lease. There are rules in the blocks that specify quiet hours.

You don't have to answer your door. They can place a letter in the hall.

cordeliavorkosigan · 30/01/2017 12:09

Reply to every single text with cookiefiend's reply. Every single one. Bet it stops soon. IT won't take long for your phone to get that in predictive text so you won't have to type it out.

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 30/01/2017 12:09

You could change your number, but I think the point would be better made if you did to her what she does.

This. If you're telling her what you can hear she can't deny that you're hearing it. At the very least I'd start texting her at 4am & 11pm saying "You just woke us up / woke the children up slamming your door".

OhhBetty · 30/01/2017 12:10

Ohh you could post some earplugs through her door? Or leaflets for hobbies since she hasn't got anything better to do other than text you!

Pigflewpast · 30/01/2017 12:13

I'd do what stormwhale said, perfect reply

alltouchedout · 30/01/2017 12:15

I'd be so cross with my landlord and would ask them not to share my bloody contact details without checking with me in future.I'd also ask them whether there was anything they could do to help with people being able to hear noise from other flats.

As far as this woman goes, I'd reply to her her text saying "do not text or call me again. If you continue to harass me I will involve the police". Well, either that or every single time I heard anything from her flat, anything at all, text her complaining about it. But then if you do end up having to report her harassment of you, it won't fly if you've been doing the same.

BeMorePanda · 30/01/2017 12:22

as you've talked to her and she doesn't believe you, I'd be tempted to go for it OP including when she wakes you at 4am. Do it for a week to prove to her you can hear her, then block her.

Original poster
brokenheartdog · 30/01/2017 12:22

My other upstairs neighbour isnt living here at the moment but for five years they were and specifically said they couldn't hear us.

OP posts:
PerspicaciaTick · 30/01/2017 12:40

I'd do tit for tat texting for a few days, then block her number.

Shakey15000 · 30/01/2017 12:42

I'd go with Storm's reply also.

MissMrsMsXX · 30/01/2017 12:50

When you go out put one of the religious call to prayer channels on, they are deeply repetitive. Then text her and say "now that's noise'.

dotdotdot3 · 30/01/2017 12:51

Your neighbour is definitely being unreasonable, not you. The problem is that these situations can quickly escalate through mutual frustration if not tackled/nipped in the bud.

I lived in a similar flat for more than 20 years. At one time both the downstairs and upstairs neighbours were working shifts/antisocial hours and it got a bit chaotic - no one was able to live 'normally'. In the end we made an agreement that noise (e.g. washing machines, hoovers, repairs, DIY etc) could happen between 2pm and 9pm, which gave everyone the chance to get some sleep AND do the ordinary noisy things they needed to. It was completely informal as an arrangement but worked well for us, with everyone calming down. It is the lack of predictability that can make people think of neighbour noise as a kind of torture...especially if you can never be confident you'll get 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep. The almost guaranteed quiet time also made people much more tolerant of accidents and exceptions, when we'd simply apologize/warn in advance.

Are there similar 'quiet hours' you can agree with your neighbours?

I moved to a detached house last year and it's only now I'm realizing just how circumscribed my life had been made by flat living! It isn't easy but it is possible.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 30/01/2017 12:55

I'd text her every time I heard the slightest noise.

Mad cow.

MistressMerryWeather · 30/01/2017 13:05

In your shoes, I wouldn't start playing any games with her. If this all comes to a head she could claim you were as bad.

Send a text explaining that if the constant complaints don't stop immediately you will be blocking her number and informing your LL that she is harassing you.

No need to get personal or argue. Just be direct and take it from there.

WrongTrouser · 30/01/2017 13:11

Can hear the hoover or washer - she texts
Can hear the dc walking barefoot on carpeted floors (dd is flat footed) she texts
Dyspraxic dd dropped a book, she text making a huge fuss of the big bang

I think she is harrassing you and your dc. I would tell her that either she stops or you will take legal/police action.

There was a thread about a similar issue a few years back and the OP tried every thing they could to be reasonable. Ever step they took to try to ameliorate the situation, the neighbour pushed them even further. The OP really regretted having done so in the end, because it just made things worse and ended up really badly affecting her family's lives. She moved.

Don't go there. If she really believes that she can hear your noise but you can't hear her's, she is not open to reason, so don't bother trying.

SoupDragon · 30/01/2017 13:14

After the next text I would reply with "For the next week I am going to text you every time WE can hear YOU doing normal day-to-day things in your flat. Hopefully you will then understand that we are not being noisy."

NuclearSwan · 30/01/2017 13:16

I had the downstairs neighbour from hell. She used to shout abuse at us through the floorboards even if we flushed our toilet! She wouldn't have it that we could hear her. The parties, the child abuse, everything. She was a real cunt.

ThreeLeggedCat · 30/01/2017 13:24

There is case law stating that normal living noises cannot be a Statutory Nuisance if it is due to the poor sound proofing - which is exactly what you are experiencing. I would let her know you are contacting the police for harassment (of you from her) then block her number. And ignore her.

specialsubject · 30/01/2017 14:04

She is harrassing you. Landlord should not have divulged your number.

All kids walk like elephants. Downstairs flats are noisy. You aren't doing anything unreasonable.

Unless she is another tenant of his, nothing he can do. Raise a neighbour dispute. You don't own the place so it doesn't affect your sale of it.

DJBaggySmalls · 30/01/2017 14:11

Your landlord is a business, and has no right to pass your personal information to anyone else.
Your neighbour is harassing you as a result. Keep all the texts, dont send any yourself, and complain to ISO.

ico.org.uk/concerns/

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