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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm so worried I'm going to lose my job!

103 replies

MadJeffBarn · 30/01/2017 06:54

In this past month alone i've had time off for tonsillitus, my daughter having d&v, and today I've had to take time off again because both my kids are ill with d&v. I'm currently already waiting for a disciplinary hearing with HR as my bout of tonsillitus brought my yearly sickness level to red. But I don't know what to do! I was hoping that my eldest might just have had a bit of a dicky tummy but she's really unwell. I just have a sick feeling in my stomach about taking more time off :( my work only has a certain about of sympathy for time off and tbh I feel like they would be justified in thinking I'm taking the piss. But I'm really not!

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 30/01/2017 06:56

Do you have a partner?

SuperVeggie · 30/01/2017 06:56

Do you have a DP or DH around who is able to share the load when the DCs are off sick? If not, are you in a job where you can offer to do some work from home when thy DCs are off ill?

Lilaclily · 30/01/2017 06:57

Are you taking today as unpaid leave or parental leave ? Don't ring in sick

Original poster
MadJeffBarn · 30/01/2017 06:59

I do have a partner, who's also run ragged from the onslaught of constant illness. He's had to pick up the slack alot with my being ill at the same time as dd being ill. I also pulled my back out but was able to get to work. I work in the NHS so unable to work from home :( I suspect it'll be unpaid as I'm pretty sure I've already used up my 3 days of parental leave.

OP posts:
Lilaclily · 30/01/2017 07:01

Can he have today off ?

Hellmouth · 30/01/2017 07:05

He's run ragged but can he not take time off so you don't have to? My partner and I have been sharing time off as DS has conjunctivitis. Also, can you ask to take it as holiday?

IwillrunIwillfly · 30/01/2017 07:05

If you work for the nhs you wont loose your job. You'lm meed to have a meeting with occupational health and your manager etc but they cant sack you for being off ill. Make sure you keep in contact with them about whats happening.

MsJamieFraser · 30/01/2017 07:07

Can you partner take the day off, do you have family members that can watch the children ?

TheoriginalLEM · 30/01/2017 07:08

isn't unpaid leave much the same as ringing in sick though? From the employers pov? in terms of disruption?

I sympathise OP. Surely they don't want you at work sprrading illness to colleagues and patients?

Dd is going to be off sick today but dp will stay home as i work in a small team. He will lose more money than me but he works alone and can manage it better than me lucky bastard, oh for a sofa day

I get properly pussed off with people who drag themselves into work sick but do tend to be guilty of this.

Disaplinary for being sick? How is that even fair?

CupOfTeaAndAbiscuitPlease · 30/01/2017 07:09

You won't get sacked. It will be a "notice of improvement".

HeCantBeSerious · 30/01/2017 07:10

they cant sack you for being off ill.

They can.

topcat2014 · 30/01/2017 07:11

I would not recommend ringing in 'sick' when the children are ill. You need to find another way of describing the time off.

Ringing in sick when not is often misconduct.

HeCantBeSerious · 30/01/2017 07:11

Disaplinary for being sick? How is that even fair?

Disciplinary for excessive sickness. At my workplace that's 3 occasions in 6 months or 4 in 12 months. Saw 4 people out of the door for it last week.

Original poster
MadJeffBarn · 30/01/2017 07:12

My sickness record looks a lot worse than it actually is. I'm only part time, working 3 days a week, but I had 2 weeks off last year with my back and they class it as 14 days instead of the 6. Then I had a week off for tonsillitus, even though I only actually took 1 day off, because I couldn't declare myself fit for work for the week they've classed it as a week. Plus a day here and there for colds or D&V.
We're both trying to negotiate half days, so at least I could go in this afternoon but I just know I'm going to be met with dirty looks and sighs. I drag myself into work when I'm ill if I'm able to, because I always feel terribly anxious taking time off!

OP posts:
Original poster
MadJeffBarn · 30/01/2017 07:14

hecantbeserious you mean they got fired?

OP posts:
HeCantBeSerious · 30/01/2017 07:15

Yes.

Believeitornot · 30/01/2017 07:16

Why are you taking time off for a cold?

And if you were at work then how did they turn 1 day off into a week? Have you asked them?

StealthPolarBear · 30/01/2017 07:17

" they cant sack you for being off ill."
Yes they can. I'm not suggesting that will happen in this case but this is a myth that always comes out on these threads.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 30/01/2017 07:19

HeCantBeSerious. No need to sound quite so smug Hmm

bythewatersedge · 30/01/2017 07:21

There are colds and colds, though - some are just a sniffle but some come accompanied with a really sore throat, head filled with phlegm, hacking cough, exhaustion as you can't sleep due to being unable to breathe ... plus if OP works in the NHS it might be sensible to avoid passing that on to someone unwell.

Original poster
MadJeffBarn · 30/01/2017 07:22

I think I took one day, last February, for a cold. And I go into work when I can barely keep my eyes open so it must have been bad (I can't remember the incident fully, it was nearly a year ago now). So basically I work Sunday Monday and Tuesday. I had to take the Tuesday off because I was so ill (the Sunday and Monday were new year bank holidays) and my next shift was the following Sunday. But as I was so unwell and wasn't able to tell them if I could come back until last minute, I wasn't declared fit for work until the Saturday. So okay not a week but 5 days.

OP posts:
AnnieAnoniMouse · 30/01/2017 07:33

But it's irrelevant. You weren't due to be at work, so it makes no difference.

VintagePerfumista · 30/01/2017 07:35

I don't understand why if you are off sick on your 3 working days, the days when you aren't even contracted to work are classed as sick days. That can't be right, surely?

Agree with others though- you need to be honest. You aren't taking time off because you're sick, but because your children are. Going forward you need to be a bit more proactive- kids are going to get sick- try and put systems in place with your partner to pick up the slack if your time off is getting excessive. Get your tonsils looked at, take the kids to the GP to see why they are getting D/V twice in a month. And don't take time off for colds unless you absolutely are on your knees.

Believeitornot · 30/01/2017 07:35

Yes it is irrelevant. You shouldn't need to say anything about whether you can make your next shift for a cold.

VintagePerfumista · 30/01/2017 07:36

Also agree that people really should not keep trotting out the "they can't sack you" guff. They won't call it sacking. They will call it "retiring on medical grounds" except there won't be a pension at the end of it.