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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm so worried I'm going to lose my job!

103 replies

MadJeffBarn · 30/01/2017 06:54

In this past month alone i've had time off for tonsillitus, my daughter having d&v, and today I've had to take time off again because both my kids are ill with d&v. I'm currently already waiting for a disciplinary hearing with HR as my bout of tonsillitus brought my yearly sickness level to red. But I don't know what to do! I was hoping that my eldest might just have had a bit of a dicky tummy but she's really unwell. I just have a sick feeling in my stomach about taking more time off :( my work only has a certain about of sympathy for time off and tbh I feel like they would be justified in thinking I'm taking the piss. But I'm really not!

OP posts:
OnionKnight · 30/01/2017 07:38

I don't understand why if you are off sick on your 3 working days, the days when you aren't even contracted to work are classed as sick days. That can't be right, surely?

At first I thought the same as you but where I work I don't work over the weekend, however if I'm off sick and it carries over into next week the weekend is included in the total.

Daisymeadows · 30/01/2017 07:39

Definitley don't call in sick when it's your DC that are ill, not you. Where I used to work, absences for domestic reason were treated differently to personal sickness. If you are are the child's primary carer, sometimes theses types of absences were unavoidable being the reasoning. However, persistant absences of this nature would probably raise a few eyebrows. I doubt you'll lose your job though - you'll just get some kind of warning and a timescale to improve.

Sugarlightly · 30/01/2017 07:41

Retiring on medical grounds? AFAIK it won't be that it will be "dismissed on the grounds of capability to work in the workplace"

Sugarlightly · 30/01/2017 07:42

Rules are different everywhere but a lot of places will consider emergency parental leave differently to sick leave.

Original poster
MadJeffBarn · 30/01/2017 07:42

I have raised this issue but was just told that's how they do... the rationale behind it being, if they needed me to come in due to staff shortages I wouldn't be relied upon to come in.

OP posts:
VintagePerfumista · 30/01/2017 07:43

Yes, that's what I mean- that sort of thing. When I was a Civil Servant and had glandular fever for about 3 months it was called the retiring thing, but essential it means they're getting rid!

Oblomov17 · 30/01/2017 07:47

It gets marked down as 6 days even though your contracted to 3?

HermioneJeanGranger · 30/01/2017 07:49

That's a lot of time off sick though. I think your partner needs to cover Mondays and Tuesdays when the DC are off school considering you're already off to cover Weds-Fri.

QODRestYeMerryGentlemen · 30/01/2017 07:51

My work are super harsh with sick but maybe not after reading this!!i had 7 weeks off sick in a stretch and it went down as 28 days
We use Bradford Score so incidents x days

PinkSwimGoggles · 30/01/2017 07:57

would your partner be in danger of disciplinary if he took today off to care for dc?
if not, it's his turn.

ShotsFired · 30/01/2017 07:58

MadJeffBarn I have raised this issue but was just told that's how they do... the rationale behind it being, if they needed me to come in due to staff shortages I wouldn't be relied upon to come in.

But wtf you do on your days off is none of their concern unless you have some contractual clause saying you have to be available on those days? (Do you?)

For all they know you could be on a sky-diving course, visiting the Queen for tea or just getting your legs waxed. All of those would preclude you being able to come to work, exactly the same as being sick on an off-day would. There must be other PT MNers who can confirm if they have the same procedure or not, because this sounds logically tosh.

Original poster
MadJeffBarn · 30/01/2017 08:07

shots fired shrug. I have no idea at all.
I'm going into work, dh was able to rearrange stuff. I think alot of it is 'working mum guilt', I always feel like I should be the one to look after the babies when they're ill :(

OP posts:
Trainspotting1984 · 30/01/2017 08:09

Ok honestly? You need some kind of childcare arrangement for this. You have 2 children and your employer won't tolerate you being off when one or the other is sick. Do you have family? If not can you look into alternative childcare that they can attend when sick ie nanny, au pair?

I sympathise massively but there isn't really a way round this

Introvertedbuthappy · 30/01/2017 08:18

Your DH needs to take time off too and share the burden - especially as you are part time. There is no reason that as the mother you should take more time off than your husband.

Original poster
MadJeffBarn · 30/01/2017 08:18

I can't believe this. Rang my work 10 minutes ago to say I would be coming in, and dh starts being sick!

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 30/01/2017 08:19

Vintage they can actually sack you - disciplinary process followed by sacking.

StealthPolarBear · 30/01/2017 08:20

Oh no op. He might just have to cope for today. Is your eldest still being sick?

Original poster
MadJeffBarn · 30/01/2017 08:20

An au pair? Me and dh jointly earn less than £16,000 (he's self employed making losses) so that's highly unlikely. I do normally have childcare but my mum is a carer for the elderly so won't look after them if they're sick like this, mil works during the week.

OP posts:
Introvertedbuthappy · 30/01/2017 08:22

How old is the child being sick? If school age he should be able to cope.

Original poster
MadJeffBarn · 30/01/2017 08:23

Both of them are being sick. They're 2 and 5.

OP posts:
OnceIWas7YearsOld · 30/01/2017 08:25

Retiring on medical grounds is an entirely different thing. Being dismissed for excessive sickness absence is a capability dismissal.

They should however carry out an investigation into the reasons why you are off sick before they go down that route. They should look at ways they can help you within reason. There are arguments that dismissing a woman on capability grounds because she has an issue with childcare could amount to sex discrimination because women in society tend to be the primary carers, but I'm not sure it's ever been tested in tribunal. It's an interesting point though.

In any event I would advise an employer client to proceed with caution in those circumstances and to consider whether something like flexible working might help.

StealthPolarBear · 30/01/2017 08:26

It sounds as though you do need to call in :( that said I suspect a sahm who was sick with two sick dc would be told to soldier on and her dh should go to work. I'd have to be off though I think.

OnceIWas7YearsOld · 30/01/2017 08:27

Also you have a right to take time off for dependents. Exercise than instead of sick leave. Your employer might have a policy on this. I don't think it tends to be paid leave though.

Again, being disciplined for using this might well amount to sex discrimination. Also it's a statutory right.

OnceIWas7YearsOld · 30/01/2017 08:28

m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=3235

Solasum · 30/01/2017 08:30

It is miserable being sick as an adult, but your DH will just have to manage with DC.