to think it is really rude not to reply to a party invite?

[FunnysInLaJardin]

Last Monday they were sent out, 12 of them for DS2's 7th birthday. Party is in 2 weeks. I see most of the mums every day at pick up and drop off. As of today I had only had 4 replies. I chased 4 of the mums who all came back and said sorry for the delay and accepted.

Pisses me off that I had to chase replies. I respond within a day or 2 of getting an invite. It really isn't difficult.

I have been irrationally about this and almost want to tell all of them to fuck right off and forget the party

I used to be like you, op. Fast forward a few years, 3 children's lives to coordinate plus my own, plus wider family commitments, plus dcs randomly deciding whether to hide the invite from me or not, plus just literal not having the space to do even a poo alone, plus a FT job, plus a dh with a FT job, plus plus plus.. You get the picture. I swore blind I would never be the person who doesn't reply immediately. And now I am. I'm not a bad person, just seriously stressed and trying my best to keep my head above water. You need to get some perspective. You need to put an RSVP date because it gives you an internal cut off point and then if they've not replied, sure, take that as a no show - i think that's fair enough. You'll probably find it will all be ok in the end and after it's done you'll be a bit as to what all the fuss was about.

Well done on being what I like to call, a Pinterest Mum, OP.

I don't think being unable to.feed your child because you've sent a text is the main or even a common reason people don't reply to invitations. In fact quite often people don't reply and then actually turn up which takes a lot more effort. Sometimes with extra kids in tow who weren't invited. I'm always shocked that people on these threads are so keen to defend such rude behaviour but I don't know why because it will be the same people that do it!

I check book bags every night and reply within a day or two

Oh well done!

I learnt to put an RSVP date on when DD was in a new school for reception and only about 10 out of 30 replied. 17 turned up but no idea what happened to the other 13. But I give two weeks for people to reply and the RSVP is set a week before the party. Good luck, I hope it goes well! Parties are exhausting!

Yanbu esp in this day and age of instant easy communication. All the protestations are lame and they know it really. Replying to party invites does not make you a smug supermum it's really not difficult.

Exactly Navy - as per GreenRut. Just looking at your messag is exhausting Green let alone living this hectic life

That's the thing. You can't just pay for the 10 who reply after the rsvp date. Because then the other 7 kids have no meal or party bag and it's not their fault their parents have no manners. So unless anyone has actually replied with a no you have to pay for their place.

And all the "it's so hard" brigade - how would you feel if your child did not get one rsvp for his much awaited party. Still fine?

You sound delightful. Learn some manners. Oh wait...

I remember one mother "chasing" me for DSs reply to her son's party. It was the first I'd heard of it and there was nothing in his bag when I checked.

You can't say people have lost invitations or are too busy when they actually turn up to the party though. A lot of the people who don't reply are too busy to send a text but not too busy to go I've found. Bizarre.

it's really not difficult.

How do you actually know this? Are you privy to all the details of everyone's lives? Or are you, just maybe, basing it purely on your own narrow experience of life?
.

We invite the girls in DD1's class. There are 9. One girl has never replied to 1 party in 3 years and never turned up. About half of them I have to ask directly.. Its annoying but I dont get chewed up over it.

Sounds like a plan funnys

"I don't think you'll have heard of spoon theory. It's a disability metaphor."
How bloody patronising! I've certainly heard of it, having a chronic illness myself.

I still don't buy that people can't take 20 seconds out of their day to reply at some point. Surely if you are checking bags for school letters, you can check for invitations at the same time and deal with them as school admin.

It's got sod all to do with being a a smug parent, btw. It's manners and wanting to ensure our children are not thought badly of because they've got parents that cba. I agree with a pp, I suspect some wait for a better offer or simply cannot be bothered to take their child to the party.

Have I entered a parallel universe?

This happened to me recently. I was chased for a reply when there were still two weeks to go and no RSVP date on the invitation. I must admit I was slightly irritated and thought 1. Does she have nothing better to do than panic already?...but also, 2. She might be finding party planning stressful, as do I.

Personally I don't get twitchy till there's a week or less to go, and people haven't replied. Then we're down to rudeness or the possibility that they never received it in the first place. Either way - awkward.

One of my DCs once hid four party invitations in his drawer at school. I only found them during a parents' open afternoon. Three of the parties had already happened

Yay. I got a gold star

And I've always thought of myself as such a slack arse. It seems in the party response stakes I excel

I think my main issue with this thread is that the OP had an internal RSVP date of 1 week after the invites went out ... but didn't communicate that to the other parents, as it wasn't explicitly put on the invite, and yet is irrationally angry that others haven't replied yet despite them not knowing that there was a deadline (and still having 2 weeks to the party).

If an invite has a specific RSVP date I will make sure to respond before that time, but if it doesn't have a specific date then I will RSVP when I get round to it, and as long as it is before the party then the RSVP has been fulfilled. If you want it by a certain date you need to make that clear.

Guaranteed there will be people who still haven't replied on the day that turn up though. I've done around 12/13 kids parties in total and it always happens. Some people just don't think they have to bother replying.

I usually respond in a day or two but occasionally we have to work out the logistics of how to get 3 dc to 3 different places before I can confirm or find a play date for dd1 as dd2&3 need me to stay at their parties as they're still little, but I believe through mn it's rude to take dd1 along. Dh worked shifts until recently and they regularly got changed so also had to confirm that etc. So many reasons. I think 1 week is hardly any time so chill out. Worse was dd1's party last year when her best friend didn't come because her useless idiot father forgot. Never even apologised. No gift, nothing. Dd was 8 and only having a small party with 4 friends (ended up being 3). That's annoying.