What is the ideal number of children? What was your main deciding factor in having a third?!

[EyesOfBlue]

AIBU to ask this?

Totally unscientific of course! I just wondered what people perceive to be as the ideal number of children to have!

I've one of each, boy and girl, but keep thinking I'd love just one more!

Does the desire to experience pregnancy and newborn stage again fade over time. My children are aged 2 and 4!

Sensible part of me says that two children is lefty especially as they get older and more activities, school etc to contend with. can't bear to part with my buggy

Sorry for the ramble!

We have 3 and found the transition from 2 to 3 no different from going from 1 to 2; as in things change a bit, then increasingly so as they get older / more demanding. It's more costly, there's more mess, more calendar clashes, more fighting for your attention.

Sometimes it's knackering but having 3 is the perfect number for our family. They love having each other and have good relationships with each other.

When I hold a newborn, I still get that gush of "ooooh! Just one more!" But that's because having that newborn in your arms for the first time is simply magical and a feeling that never leaves you. Reality is, the newborn phase is over in a flash- it's the ages and stages after that that are more challenging, and expensive, IMO.

Never say Never....I have 3 teenage DC, and now TTC #4

We have 2 DC. I would have considered trying for a third but 1 DC has autism so that was the decider in sticking with what we've got.

No more for us. We have two. Often wish I had stuck to one. Couldn't do it again (especially the no sleep), trying to get DH a vasectomy as we speak..!

I've a DD and a DS. Really wanted four, but seeing my friend having her third and how they struggled, made me happy to stick at two. Maybe it was just a wanting for another lovely squishy newborn...

I was more up for having more than two than DH. He's one of three and really disliked it. He wanted to stick at two.

I would have liked a 3rd
Mine are 14 & 11, I'm no longer with their dad and my DH is terminally ill. I think I finally came to terms with nothaving a 3rd when DH was diagnosed last year.

We have ds 2 years, dd 1 year and ds due in March. I'm 36. It's fucking hard work already and I find myself wishing we'd stopped at just one.

Why did we go for 3? Stupidity?! I dunno, we just didn't feel 'done' at 2. When we first got together we wanted at least 5. Hahahahahahahaha. I still get broody though, even when pregnant! Madness. THIS WILL BE THE LAST ONE!!!

(love them both to bits, of course, just looking forward to when they're a little bit more self sufficient!!)

For me, it comes down to experience. I'm one of three, as is my mum. DH is one of four, his mum one of five. My dad was one of seven...so I can't imagine just having two children. All being well, I'd have three (especially since I have an estranged brother so I'm glad to have another sibling).

I would love four but can only comfortably afford 3.

The choice was made for us. DC3 was born practically clutching my copper coil.

initially wanted 4. We have three with two years between, third was unwise tbh and has caused staring in relationship and finances

I think 2 or 3 for most family's. However there is NOTHING wrong with not having kids or having one kid or having loads of kids (within reason) As long as you can afford them.

I have four adult DC. It was never a problem financially but sometimes four felt like a lot. . They are close in age and sometimes all seemed to need my attention at once. Now they are at Uni they often bring their partners to stay so we end up with TEN adults in the house. They are all lovely, helpful and respectful but it's physically a lot of people.

I have three, DS1, DS2 and DD in that order. I did always want three, dh not as keen. After ds2, I just couldn't ignore the urge to have one more. We didn't have dc3 to try and get a girl after two boys, however, I do think that maybe if we'd had ds1 then a DD, I may have convinced myself to ignore the urge for one more on the basis of symmetry and sensibleness! We had to buy a new car, and the logistics are getting more complicated as there boys get older. I was lucky enough to be able to take voluntary redundancy so I've been off work for over a year now, not sure that is sustainable, and the thought of organising the logistics of three with all the after school clubs, homework etc and work is daunting. But love my three. And we are definitely done now (although the urge for another tiny baby does appear occasionally...!)

We have 3.
DDS are 26 and 23.
DS is 15.
He was totally unplanned and unexpected.

i wanted 3, dh wanted 2.

I agreed to stop at 2.

The only factor in having a 3rd was that my Mirena coil slipped.

Wouldn't be without her now, though!

We had 2 DS's close together and decided we were done. Then DS1 was diagnosed with severe autism and it became clear that he and his brother were never going to have a brotherly relationship or play together. DS2 is very sociable and was desperate for company all the time. To be honest it felt like he was an only child in many ways, as his brother didn't and still doesn't interact with him.
Anyway, that was our reasoning for a third, when DS's were 5 and 4. DS2 and DD are now best of friends and play together all the time, despite the 4 year age gap. So the dynamics changed for the better for us. Yes it's hard with 3, particularly with a 9 year disabled child who is cognitively still a toddler but I would not change it for the world.

I have 2, 6 and 4. I am tempted by another, but tbh we are getting into the easier stage now so going back to babyhood isn't totally appealing...I think it is a bit late for us now. Equally everything is set up and sustainable at the moment. We have enough space in the house, car and caravan, just about enough money, enough time etc. I worry one more would tip us over.

If another came along accidentally then it would be loved and adored and we'd be very happy, but I don't think we would try for another.

I have to say that before we had our first, we wanted 4. Dh is one of 4 and has a lovely busy family, which we wanted. I'm one of two, and the dynamic is very different.

However actually having had children has now changed our minds!

Ideal number....0

Four was original intention but ended up with six. Four would have been easier and probably perfect number but I don't regret six.

I've got two and I'm stopping there. I couldn't bear to be pregnant again and find just two pretty exhausting. It's much nicer when they get older.

Because my family didn't feel complete after two. Most people I knew were thrilled to have two and were very clear that was it for them. I just didn't feel that. I now have three which is harder work than two, but fabulous. If time and money were no object I may have had a fourth but don't feel overly sad about not doing so, whereas I think I would have been ever sad if I hadn't had a third.

I thought I wanted 3 children, but now I have two I realise I only want one.

Agree with shouldistay - 0-1 was the hardest transition for me, #3 just fits in and I actually don't find 3 that hard. The most wearing part is doing everything 3 times over but you're already dealing with more than 1 anyway so you just add them in!

If I ever get just one of them on their own I can't believe how easy it is! When I had my 1st I thought it was the hardest thing in the world!

Not disputing the hard work and life changes that occur with your 1st one - it -was- bloody hard!