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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset by this letter.

219 replies

welshcath · 28/01/2017 20:07

I got home today to find this letter, which had been sent in the post. Yes our garden has a few stray bits of rubbish in it as it goes straight on to the road and it's been very windy the last few days. It was on my list of things to do this weekend but now I feel like not tidying, in the manner of a truculent child. WWYD?

AIBU to be upset by this letter.
OP posts:
Sprink · 30/01/2017 14:13

the chap for council told us the garden was fine and he wouldn't bother us again!

What could he have done? Is it somehow illegal in this country to not mow a lawn? I'm genuinely curious, as I've always assumed that private property is exactly that. Angry

shovetheholly · 30/01/2017 14:18

I could be wrong about this, but I think councils can demand that people maintain things like hedges and trees and that, if someone refuses, they will sometimes do the work and then send the person the bill??

purplecollar · 30/01/2017 14:20

Someone with too much time on their hands there I think.

Blueistheneworange · 30/01/2017 14:29

^^ Shovetheholly - if a hedge or tree is overhanging a pavement and causing an obstruction a County Council can demand it is cut back, similar action can also be carried out with vermin, blocked waterways causing damage/flooding to the highway etc, A CC can also carryout the work and look to recover costs afterward. They cannot demand you cut your grass twice a week or such like.

And the chance of it being enforced is really rather slim for relatively minor issues.

ToastOfLondon · 30/01/2017 14:41

shovetheholly It's not correct that councils can require you to maintain trees or hedges unless, in the very rare occasion, where there has been court action (planning?) or trees or hedges are subject to the High Hedges legislation (Anti-social Behaviour Act 2003 part 8)

You could also be asked to 'tidy' your garden if the council decide that there are materials in the garden that are providing harbouridge for rats etc . For example a pile of filled rubbish bags.

purplefizz26 · 30/01/2017 15:03

Whoever sent that note is a dick head.

Your house, your garden, your rules.

Unless there are literally bags of rubbish, dog shit and other toxic crap lying around, that person doesn't have a leg to stand on.

My house is on a busy road with 2 schools and kids throw a lot of rubbish which blows into the front garden quite often. In the winter when it's wet and cold I quite frankly can't be arsed walking around picking up other people's shit off the floor. In the summer when the garden is used more and the weather isn't as rubbish I make more effort to tidy up.

I would be furious if anybody sent me a note like that, and would try to find out who it was.

Deliveryboy · 30/01/2017 17:28

I'd write a reply to the neighbour and deliver it with a 3 inch mortar..
Are they the sort who first introduce themselves as the 'senior residents,' and say 'we like things just as they are'?

ilovechocolate07 · 30/01/2017 17:29

I hate being told what to do too so I would leave it. Maybe even attach a reply to my door and address it 'to the nosey nitpicker'.

Hazydaze67 · 30/01/2017 17:30

We used to have neighbours who were continually asking us to cut our conifers, it was like living next to my parents!! She eventually asked if she could cut them, which she did, but then threw all the cuttings over into our garden because "if we dispose of them it's stealing". I was furious as I was pregnant at the time so she sent her son around to clear them up. YANBU the letter is really rude and it's a bit spineless to leave a message and not sign it.

Katherine2626 · 30/01/2017 17:36

Sounds like someone with nothing better to do, and spiteful as well. I would tape/tie the note to your front gate/wall in a clear plastic bag with your message added - ask the sender to knock and speak to you personally as you don't respond to 'poison pen' unsigned notes pushed through the door.

Ohbuggermebugger · 30/01/2017 17:43

I can't stand this kind of thing - the sender should put their name to it! If they're mouthy enough to send the letter be brave enough to allow the recipient to know who sent it!

erchissick · 30/01/2017 17:44

Have they signed the letter or sent it anonymously?

I would be tempted to write "BOLLOCKS" on it and tape it to the front door for the sender to see.

Beeblossombee · 30/01/2017 17:47

Merh. Either your garden does need a good tidy as it's enough to upset the neighbours in which case the note sender was rude but not unfounded OR your garden is fine and the neighbour is an impatient prick who doesn't deserve the attention of any response, those types will thrive off the drama.

Also keeping my eye out for a thread about a neighbour from hell who drove the OP to send a letter Wink

GeorgeTheHamster · 30/01/2017 17:54

Still no photo of the garden though 😄

meganorks · 30/01/2017 17:56

Tidy up and plant some bulbs that in a few weeks will bloom and spell Fuck you! Or just ignore.

On a side note we once got a letter from the council telling us to trim our bush as it was protruding into a public thoroughfare. Much merriment was had by all

SapphireStrange · 30/01/2017 18:00

Doesn't matter how untidy the garden is, whoever wrote that is a rude twat.

Ignore.

Pallisers · 30/01/2017 18:00

My next door neighbour got an anonymous letter from someone complaining about his dogs barking. We are right next door and I work from home and I never noticed the dog's barking. He was incensed by the anonymous aspect of it - if someone had come by and said the dogs were a bother, he'd have been grand about it and tried to fix it.

He went around to everyone within hearing distance of the dogs and asked if they had sent the letter. Must ask him what happened.

spiderlight · 30/01/2017 18:00

When we moved into our house, the previous owners kindly left us, amongst other delights, a large, bright pink stone statue of two pigs shagging, with the words 'Pigging it' painted across the base. You would be very welcome to it, to keep the mooning gnome company.

mammamic · 30/01/2017 18:00

I would photocopy the letter and include it with a note to all neighbours along the lines of

'apologies for the wide distribution

the included anonymous letter was delivered, via Royal Mail, on 'x'. If you are the sender, I would appreciate an adult face to face discussion on not only the content, but also the tone of said letter.

I look forward to hearing from you, though given the cowardly way the original sentiment was conveyed, expectations are low.'

SlatternIsTrying · 30/01/2017 18:10

"What is life without whimsy" is my new mantra!

unlucky83 · 30/01/2017 18:10

We used to get litter blown off the road and it would tangle up in our plants... and it did get a little overgrown at times but we had lots of wildlife.
The neighbour nearer the road - we are sideways on - once made some comment about it ...and suggested I gravelled it over like they'd done (so the litter would have blown into the garden of the next neighbour down?)
Then they built a wall between us (I suspect so they didn't have to look at our garden...) - it was fantastic...all the rubbish got trapped against their wall and they had to pick it up ...and even though they were retired and at home all day there was often some litter against their wall...
Maybe if you think it is the neighbour across the road you could wall around your garden and install a blower so any litter that comes in your direction gets redirected and blown across into their garden?

Oldraver · 30/01/2017 18:14

We've recently had our (dead) trees cut down, had four tons of soil spread where they were as there was a dip in the garden and taken up part of our path....Its not quite as neat as other gardens but is a work in progress bad backs permitting.

I opened my blinds last week to see this, I dont know who left it and hope they were just having a clear out and not trying to tell us something

AIBU to be upset by this letter.
TheMysteriousJackelope · 30/01/2017 18:20

I'd collect the trash, form it into a Donald Trump butthole sign, hang the letter off the bottom and hang them up in the garden as a decorative ornament.

RubixCircle · 30/01/2017 18:29

I'm worried about a similar thing happening to me. I live in a road where all the gardens are almost perfect. I live in a flat in a converted house. My front door is at the front so opens onto the front garden. However I do not own the garden, downstairs owns both front and back. The previous owners kept it looking lovely.
I had new neighbours move in about a year ago and the grass hasn't been cut in the entire time and it's littered with rubbish. They put their black bags in the garden and I think a fox had ripped one open last month but all the contents have been left there. Including nappies and bits of food and general rubbish. I don't speak to them because I tried once about something else and they don't appear to speak English.
I've been getting so irritated because I see it all every time I leave my house and if I look out the front windows. I have debated picking it up but picking up someone else's dirty nappies just makes me feel ill. We don't have wheelie bins and I have no outside space at all so I'm not bringing it all back in your house!
Oh well. I just have to hope no one thinks it's me with the manky garden!!

HappyFlappy · 30/01/2017 18:37

She eventually asked if she could cut them, which she did, but then threw all the cuttings over into our garden because "if we dispose of them it's stealing". I was furious

I'm not surprised you were furious Hazy.

We have cut down our NDN's overhanging branches and always ask if she wants them back or does she want us to dispose of them- she invariably tells us to care care of them

It's only stealing if you take the branches/fruit etc knowing your neighbour might want them.

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