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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset by this letter.

219 replies

welshcath · 28/01/2017 20:07

I got home today to find this letter, which had been sent in the post. Yes our garden has a few stray bits of rubbish in it as it goes straight on to the road and it's been very windy the last few days. It was on my list of things to do this weekend but now I feel like not tidying, in the manner of a truculent child. WWYD?

AIBU to be upset by this letter.
OP posts:
HappyFlappy · 29/01/2017 20:02

Blimey Moomin - I read it as naked. Had to check the post again.

Anothermoomin · 29/01/2017 20:31

Happy so that's me and you doing the naked litter dance at what.......?

10:30? Is that still too early? Don't worry no one can see you, well they can but you won't know cos you haven't got your specs on.

BillSykesDog · 29/01/2017 21:13

It's a horrible note and nasty.

But I do have some sympathy with people who have to put up with genuinely messy neighbours.

My Mum lives in a 'naice' road and her next door neighbour had a hell of a job selling her house because of the state of the house opposite. Because potential buyers (correctly) surmised that not very nice people lived there. Think bottle throwing arguments in the street.

They were proper mank though. They bought their house off an old man who had been too infirm to do his housework for at least 5 years. They kept up his net curtains and didn't wash them once in the 20 years they lived there.

This outrages my mother only slightly less than the holocaust and she's Jewish!

zzzzz · 30/01/2017 08:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ineedmorelemonpledge · 30/01/2017 08:27

Send the DC round with a sponsorship form or project and get signatures from everyone in the street. Then compare the handwriting from the letter.

HollyJollyDillydolly · 30/01/2017 08:39

I'd write 'fuck off' in litter, well I probably wouldn't really but I'd want to!

Crispbutty · 30/01/2017 08:48

My grandma died suddenly while my dad was in the final days of his cancer. My dad was too unwell to go to his own mums funeral and my mum was run ragged looking after him and sorting grans funeral (dad was an only child so no other family)

My gran lived 60 miles away and mum didn't drive.

Grandmas next door neighbour knew all of this, yet rang my mum, to complain about the state of grans garden as it was getting a bit overgrown Hmm

I came home to find my mum in floods of tears as the neighbour had been so nasty on the phone.

I couldn't believe someone had been so heartless. Any decent person would have offered to help, not added to someone's stress.

CripsSandwiches · 30/01/2017 08:56

Crispbutty

That is insane to the absolute limit. What kind of sociopath does something like that. If you're so bothered just nip in and tidy up the garden yourself.

shovetheholly · 30/01/2017 09:09

To send a note like that is plain nasty and intrusive. What a busybody! Even when you live next door to people, you don't know the battles they are fighting.

I recommend that you buy them a plant called pratia pendunculata and remove the label. Give it to them with a sorry note. The thing spreads like wildfire and is incredibly hard to get rid of once established. Grin

phoe6e · 30/01/2017 09:16

I wouldn't bother with any notes, just go full on tacky with the garden

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/01/2017 09:22

Did anyone see the thread a few weeks ago about a person trying to sell a house and failing because the next door neighbours had a shop dummy in the front garden? Perhaps you could find the thread and go and steal it op? Would kill two birds with one stone Wink

MargaretCavendish · 30/01/2017 09:23

They kept up his net curtains and didn't wash them once in the 20 years they lived there.

A) How can your mother possibly know this for a fact?
B) So, other people are washing their curtains now, are they? Always nice to find a new way in which we're failing to keep up with the housework!
C) Being Jewish doesn't stop your Holocaust jokes being in terrible taste.

TheFirstMrsDV · 30/01/2017 09:34

My neighbours had a word with me about not washing out my bins.
Fair enough you might think. Wheely bins can get smelly.
But it was while my dd was terminally ill. It was during the last few weeks of her life.
The neighbours knew. You couldn't not know. We had nurses and therapists coming and going all day.

But they just couldn't help themselves.

Same neighbours who decided to save on skip fees by burning their building waste in the back garden. Also whilst my DD was dying.

Karma bit them in the arse and I hope your note writer gets a nip too.

thetemptationofchocolate · 30/01/2017 09:40

I'd be tempted to arrange any rubbish in the garden into the shape of a giant exclamation mark. You may need to collect some more rubbish to do this. And some glue, to keep it all in place if it's windy.
The anonymous writer obviously really likes them!!!!!

holidaysaregreat · 30/01/2017 09:40

Can you post a pic of the garden? Also I got the impression that the neighbour had actually offered to help out by painting fence etc..
I moved out of a lovely road I had lived in for 16 years for various reasons such as parking, but also because some of the neighbours had started jobs and then left materials lying around for 5 or so years. You do need to have some respect for your neighbours, so if it is a mess then you should really tidy it up.

SlankyBodger · 30/01/2017 09:46

ZOMBIE GNOMES are what you need. Here: www.geniegadgets.com/crawler-zombie-gnome.html?gclid=CM6e2NPK6dECFaWw7Qod60UOAA

gingercoffee · 30/01/2017 09:51

Firstly, your garden your business.

And secondly, what a horrible note, and how cowardly of them to not sign their name, just leave it for you and run away. (Probably).

TheFirstMrsDV · 30/01/2017 09:52

I am all for respecting neighbours.
I don't think anyone should have a really untidy garden if they are able to keep it in an ok state.
But people shouldn't impose their standards on their neighbours either.
As long as there is no rubbish, vermin, rotting furniture and their plants are not impeding access people should mind their own business.

It is not my responsibility help neighbours sell their house although I would be unreasonable to go out of my way to cause them problems.

BillSykesDog · 30/01/2017 10:06

A) How can your mother possibly know this for a fact?
B) So, other people are washing their curtains now, are they? Always nice to find a new way in which we're failing to keep up with the housework!
C) Being Jewish doesn't stop your Holocaust jokes being in terrible taste.*

A) Because they were in a pretty bad state because the previous owner was infirm and they you could tell they weren't washed when the new people moved in and they eventually deteriorated to such a state they wouldn't have survived being taken down washed and put back up but they still stayed.

B) Apparently according to my mother washing of net curtains is some kind of indicator of moral fibre. This is why I have blinds so she can't judge me. I couldn't give a toss about anybody's net curtains. But Jewish women do tend to be obsessive about cleaning and hygiene and net curtains are often the most obvious outward indicator of this so it is a bit of a Jewish 'thing' I think.
C) Look up the long tradition of Jewish gallows humour, that's definitely a Jewish 'thing' and you saying a Jew should stop it is by extension disrespect of another's culture. I don't give a shit you told me not to, but I suspect you'll find you've actually transgressed your own rules on cultural offence, blah, blah, blah.

Silentplikebath · 30/01/2017 10:07

I love that mooning gnome!

I would leave that note in the middle of the front garden taped to some kebab wrappers, empty cans and some fake vomit from a joke shop. You could make it into a litter garden 'feature'.

MiaowTheCat · 30/01/2017 10:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HappyFlappy · 30/01/2017 10:31

Can we make it 11.00 Moomin?

Gives me time to get the dogs out.

hatethinkingupnamechanges · 30/01/2017 10:42

I once got a letter through the door. It was apparently sent from the whole stair (about 8 or 9 flats) after they'd had a meeting about me. The letter said that:

  1. my dogs barked all day and had bitten a pregnant lady (I don't own a dog, or, in fact, any pets);
  2. there was a strong smell of cannabis coming from my flat (I don't take drugs, or even smoke cigarettes);
  3. I was having wild parties and they'd had to call the police out on several occasions (the only guests I'd had up were my aunt and uncle who are in their sixties, and are very quiet, devout christians who had come up for lasagne and left before 9pm);
  4. I was constantly slamming the flat door throughout the day causing the building to shake (I worked full tome);
  5. I had got drunk, fallen into the back door and broken it (ok, I had fallen into the door, but I wasn't drunk; I'd just tripped and ended up in A&E with a smashed knee. The door wasn't broken).

I had only lived in the flat a couple of months and I think there must have been a problem with the previous tenant, but I received this letter in the month three of my relatives had died and I was devestated that that was how my neighbours saw me.

jrhartleysfishingblog · 30/01/2017 10:58

It could also be a prank. Has anyone else in the street got the same letter?

NightWanderer · 30/01/2017 11:18

A friend of mine was just discharged from hospital adter brain surgery to complaints from her neighbours about the state of the garden. Her husband mowed the lot including the flower beds and vegetable plot. Felt so sorry for her. Luckily my neighbourhood is a healthy mixture of immaculate gardens and complete tips. Im happily in the middle. Its tidy but not perfect by any standards.