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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is really kind of my brother ?

65 replies

Bigfluffybear · 28/01/2017 17:06

Hello.
I live in a fairly nice area and am happy with my house. I have however seen a house about a mile away in a nicer area which is bigger and has a garden. This means I can get my son a dog so he's game! Anyway it's a little out of my price range so my brother has said he will put his name on the mortgage and pay an amount towards it each month. Aibu to accept this offer?

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 28/01/2017 17:08

How well do you get on with your brother? When you have argued, what has it been over?

Does he have his own place? Can he easily afford to pay more? Does he have a wife/partner who might object

What proportion will belong to you? What happens if he wants to sell and you don't? That is the main question, really.

Cherryskypie · 28/01/2017 17:10

Family and money don't mix well.

Original poster
Bigfluffybear · 28/01/2017 17:10

Get on very well. He has a partner and they have paid a lot of their mortgage off due to an inheritance she got. He can pay more and it would be 50/50. Hopefully it would be short term and his name can come off if/when I get a promotion

OP posts:
Allthebestnamesareused · 28/01/2017 17:11

Can you afford the extra if he suddenly finds he can't pay as you could end up risking your home if you default if he can't psy.

PidgeyfinderGeneral · 28/01/2017 17:12

It's a kind offer, but you should go into it with your eyes open. Could he lend you the money instead of being on the mortgage?

Trills · 28/01/2017 17:12

Have you checked with any mortgage company as to how this would work, who would be liable for what, and whether they would accept this arrangement?

ExpectoPatronummmm · 28/01/2017 17:12

Aww what a lovely brother. He must care about you a lot.
I hope my 12 year old son is like this with his little sister when he's older :)

Trifleorbust · 28/01/2017 17:13

I assume you don't mean you and your DB would be buying together, you mean your DB would be paying for some of your house but you would own it? Have you made this crystal clear in discussions with him? As long as he is able to afford to gift you this money you are not unreasonable to accept it. Very generous of him obviously.

Original poster
Bigfluffybear · 28/01/2017 17:14

Trills they probably would accept it. He will be able to pay each month. He doesn't have enough savings to just give me the money

OP posts:
harderandharder2breathe · 28/01/2017 17:15

It's a lovely thing for him to do but make sure you have a legal written agreement

Circumstances can change, for example if he lost his job or split from his partner he may not be able to afford it. Go into it with your eyes wide open (both of you), and with contingency plans in place.

ILoveMyMonkey · 28/01/2017 17:16

I think it's a lovely offer but if you go ahead with it get a contract written up outlining everything from ownership shares, resale, buying each other out, in event of death, job loss etc so that it is all clear and then there can be no arguments / upset.

Hope you get the house and dog you want.

CaspoFungin · 28/01/2017 17:17

What has his spare money been going on already though? If he will suddenly have say £200 spare a month to pay your mortgage, what has he been doing with that money before?

I think it's very kind but you need a crystal clear agreement.

Chippednailvarnishing · 28/01/2017 17:17

What happens if he can no longer pay?
Or if he dies?
Or if he needs to get a mortgage for himself?
What if you can no longer contribute?

I'm not sure either of you have thought this through.

NavyandWhite · 28/01/2017 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hellmouth · 28/01/2017 17:21

I think you should make sure you can afford the repayments without him, in case he does lose his job, becomes ill, plus all the other reasons cited above. also, when his name comes off the mortgage, is he going to expect you to pay him back? Also something to consider.

Original poster
Bigfluffybear · 28/01/2017 17:21

Caspo his spare money was going on his house that needed doing up. Now it's over he's got money freed up. Chipped he has a small mortgage. Navy on paper I would struggle with just my wage

OP posts:
Gaaaah · 28/01/2017 17:21

I agree. Know your rights. And his. Have a plan. Have a legal agreement outlining what's going on.

I speak from experience. My own mum offered me something similar to help me get onto the property ladder. Then she tried to fuck me over for half the house.

Original poster
Bigfluffybear · 28/01/2017 17:22

He'll no he's already said he wants nothing out of the house

OP posts:
DeathStare · 28/01/2017 17:22

I think it's a very kind offer but you could do with some proper advice about the legal situation.

What if your brother and his partner got married? And then divorced?
What if he died?
What if you fell out?
What if his partner threw him out? Would he expect to live with you? To sell the house so he could buy a new one?
What if you suddenly had a pay rise? Or got a partner who could contribute? Would he then be happy just to walk away with nothing?

Chippednailvarnishing · 28/01/2017 17:22

What happens if you end up in negative equity?

Original poster
Bigfluffybear · 28/01/2017 17:25

Death my brother is unlikely to split with partner. We won't fall out and I don't expect us to die for a while. He's made it clear the house is for me and my son.

OP posts:
Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 28/01/2017 17:25

It's very kind. I would make sure you get an agreement drawn up legally though defining the agreement and who owns what just so it's clear exactly where everyone stands. (You can always explain it's important for your DCs security if anything happened to you if your brother says it's not necessary)

Trifleorbust · 28/01/2017 17:25

Being totally honest, no, I wouldn't accept this as your DB has no savings. What would happen if his car died or his wife left him or he needed a new boiler? If he doesn't have enough money to fund this and contingencies, you need to be very very careful because you are putting both of you in a position where you will both expect to come first - he will need to pay for a car and you will be worrying about your mortgage and a roof over your head. Recipe for disaster until he has more in the bank.

Trifleorbust · 28/01/2017 17:27

OP, no-one ever expects these things to happen. You would be very naive to go into such an arrangement without legal advice Confused

Gaaaah · 28/01/2017 17:29

Exactly as Trifle says. You don't expect it, especially from family. But you just never know the lengths that someone may go to in certain situations.