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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is really kind of my brother ?

65 replies

Bigfluffybear · 28/01/2017 17:06

Hello.
I live in a fairly nice area and am happy with my house. I have however seen a house about a mile away in a nicer area which is bigger and has a garden. This means I can get my son a dog so he's game! Anyway it's a little out of my price range so my brother has said he will put his name on the mortgage and pay an amount towards it each month. Aibu to accept this offer?

OP posts:
Original poster
Bigfluffybear · 28/01/2017 17:29

Trifle he has no savings but had just had a 20 grand pay rise.

OP posts:
Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 28/01/2017 17:30

Sadly I know of several families in our locality who have experienced the unexpected death of a parent/sibling. Hopefully it wouldn't happen for you but it does for a few and they had no idea when they left the house that day Sad So, best to have everything in place just in case.

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay · 28/01/2017 17:31

No don't do it! But... if you do you have to get a serious contract drawn up with all the what-it's.

PollytheDolly · 28/01/2017 17:31

Will he have a share of the house?

ILoveMyMonkey · 28/01/2017 17:31

Death my brother is unlikely to split with partner. We won't fall out and I don't expect us to die for a while. He's made it clear the house is for me and my son.

Get it in writing! Things change, things happen, people get greedy, people fall out.

Everytimeref · 28/01/2017 17:32

If he is already on a mortgage he wont be able to be on a second mortgage.

Original poster
Bigfluffybear · 28/01/2017 17:32

We will seek legal advice but my brother has made it clear it would be my house

OP posts:
Thecontentedcat · 28/01/2017 17:33

Has your do maxed out his pension allowance?

KarmaNoMore · 28/01/2017 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thecontentedcat · 28/01/2017 17:33

Db not do

Trifleorbust · 28/01/2017 17:33

His pay rise isn't goon to protect you if he gets made redundant or needs to get his roof fixed, OP. I understand the urge to take up his (incredibly kind) offer but unless he has enough money now to find your mortgage whatever else is going on (within reason) then you could find yourself defaulting and losing your home.

Trifleorbust · 28/01/2017 17:33

*fund

0SometimesIWonder · 28/01/2017 17:36

Would a mortgage lender even lend to you both unless you are both named on the deeds as joint owners ?

GinIsIn · 28/01/2017 17:37

Just be very, very careful. We had a similar arrangement within our family and due to a bereavement it all got incredibly complicated. Everything needs to be completely ironclad legally for both you and your DB.

harderandharder2breathe · 28/01/2017 17:39

OP nobody expects to split up or die young, but it happens all the time. Obviously you hope it won't happen to you and your brother but you have to prepare for eirst case scenario when it comes to something like this. Get everything worked out beforehand and hopefully you'll never need to think about it again but if you do, you're prepared not blindsided and in the shit

lalalalyra · 28/01/2017 17:39

You need to be legay savvy to protect you both.

Saying you don't expect either of you to die soon is massively naive - how many people who get cancer or get hit by a car are expecting it?

What happens if he gets made redundant? What if his partner gets sick and needs care? What if you meet someone and your DB doesn't like them? What if you get made redundant and he's left with the whole mortgage?

LilaoftheGreenwood · 28/01/2017 17:40

I think it is very kind, and if he's a good egg he will also be keen to have the legal agreement drawn up to protect you both. I don't see any reason why family can't support each other like this if you genuinely are close and both want this to happen. People saying "family and money" don't mix - well, that could also be said of a married couple on a mortgage together.

Why are you asking though? Ask yourself if there's an underlying back-of-your-mind nervousness and if so about what - we can't know.

EweAreHere · 28/01/2017 17:40

I would thank him profusely for the offer and decline.

Original poster
Bigfluffybear · 28/01/2017 17:41

I think I will take him up on his offer but seek advice from my property colleagues to ensures it legal and above board.

OP posts:
wizardinthegarden · 28/01/2017 17:44

I live in a fairly nice area and am happy with my house

Be grateful for this.
Live within your means. Of course DS wants a dog. Most kids do, my kids want one two. I'm not moving house for them to have one, even though I could afford to.

Trifleorbust · 28/01/2017 17:44

People saying "family and money" don't mix - well, that could also be said of a married couple on a mortgage together.

Well, yes and no. A married couple have entered a legal arrangement where they have joint financial interests. If their interests diverge, there are legal standards that allow for a fair unravelling of finances. The OP and her brother don't share financial interests - she would be walking into a situation where their interests could very easily diverge at any given point, but where he was in control of the money and there is no legal remedy, because she has no right to his money. Very different.

user1471452804 · 28/01/2017 17:45

You may have to pay the 3% second home tax as your brother owns a house?

Trying2bgd · 28/01/2017 17:46

I think only you can really answer this question. Family and money can be an explosive mix but I am pretty close to my brother and would happily accept his help and vice versa without it causing any friction. We learnt this lesson by watching another branch of the family tearing each other to shreds over an inheritance.

Cinnamon2013 · 28/01/2017 17:50

I am also lucky to have a very kind brother and we have a similar arrangement. So far it has worked out well. There were some slightly awkward conversations as we worked out terms and what exactly we wanted the paperwork to say but once it's done it's done, file the paperwork and get on with normal relationship. I do agree with other posters that having something in writing is important though. This sounds awful to consider I know... but to name just one possibility (which happened in my family) people can get mental illness/dementia and become completely different people (and deny things they happily agreed to).

Go with your heart but use your head too

Original poster
Bigfluffybear · 28/01/2017 17:51

Thanks cinnamon we've took my son to see the house today and we're going to talk more tomorrow then put an offer in hopefully

OP posts:
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