To say no to trip

[Shezza71]

Honest opinions on me being too strict.
My dd16(July birthday so youngest in her year) wants to go on a trip to Bangor in Wales with 2 other friends.
We live just outside London so involves train to Victoria to get a coach, then a 9 hour journey to Bangor, where they will get a taxi to a hotel.
The trip is to visit a friend of one of the other girls friends, surprise to girl but her mum knows they are coming.
They are planning to stay 4 days.
I said I'd think about it, then said no. Dd is persistenly trying to convince me she's old enough, responsible enough etc. And that I'm too strict, never let her do anything. Everyone else is allowed to do stuff. Usual stuff I think teenagers say when they've been told no.
So honest opinions please.

*there

I'd let her. My biology field trip in sixth form was to Bangor, we were so excited. Fully expected some great nights out. Got there and totally understood why our teachers had picked the place!

How long do you want her tied to your apron strings?
She is planning to go with friends, by taxi and train, in the UK. She is not planning to go hitch hiking across Africa, ffs.
What exactly are you worried about?

If it's a hostel, then I wouldn't be too keen. Escecially if they were in a shared dorm or shared bathroom.I'm not sure hotels take under 18s alone, and if they did I'd be concerned abour the type of establishment that was!

Why ever not? I flew from Ireland to London with a friend for a long weekend at 16. What do you think she could get up to in Bangor that she couldn't do in the London commuter belt?

I can see it's a difficult decision but me and two friends went to Dublin by train/ ferry when that age. Stayed in a youth hostel, had a great time, didn't come to any harm. Ultimately. Although we did do something which was in hindsight very very stupid through naivety. Alcohol was involved although we didn't get plastered.

I was born and grew up in Bangor. The most exciting things you can do there are walk on the restored pier and visit the National Trust owned Penrhyn Castle. We had to travel as far as Manchester to find any nightlife. She could hardly be safer if she entered a nunnery!

Ok. Just spoken to dd.
The 2 girls are online/snapchat friend who have only met once at a place halfway between homes. No they are not staying at the friends house, planning on a traveling. Mumof friend just knows they are coming to surprise her dd.
Alcohol is likely to be involved and I don't fully trust the other 2 girls she is travelling with.
They have left my dd on her own before at a bus stop in a very undesirable town because their bus came first, she had her older sister come pick her up but they left before she got there.
I know she is old enough to be doing things on her own now, just wanted others opinion as to me it seems so far away.

Both Dds went from Scotland to London at 16 for a conference weekend alone thing is in 2 years your child could be moving out to go to university it is blooming wales not exactly a million miles away calm down and let the girl go with her friends

If you hunt around there are some super cheap train tickets. Travel with 16-25 rail cards on the19tg April and you can get tickets for £77 for ALL three of them...so twenty quid odd each. It's one way but just shows that with planning there are some great deals.

Right. Well that's a bit of a dripfeed, isn't it!

They have left my dd on her own before at a bus stop in a very undesirable town because their bus came first what exactly did you expect them to do when their bus arrived? Not get on it? I'm afraid that's part and parcel of life, someone's bus will always come first. If you were not happy about the area then perhaps she shouldn't have been there, but to put responsibility on to her freinds is completely unfair.

I dr see the problem let

Oh xpost there is an update nope if her pals are flakey i would be cautious but she is 16 can you really stop her going

I went to Greece for 2 weeks at 17 with friends / bf (now DH). I think YABU. She could move out and run her own home at 16.

The only problem as far as I can see is that some places aren't happy about under 18s staying, like hotels, caravan parks, etc. DS found this when he was about 16-17 and wanted to travel in the UK. If she is staying with friends though, of course let her go.

Don't see the problem letting her go. My 15yo would have had the transport worked out in detail before coming to me and asking. It seems odd that you can't trust yours to catch a combination of public transport or know what to do if something went wrong.

Let her go now while they have to go on public transport. This time next year, one of the girls could be in possession of a car and a driving licence and they could be planning to go off up the M6 or wherever else they fancy.

She is totally old enough. And the bus stop thing- what if they missed their bus and then your DD left- how long would they wait until their next bus? It's all about context.

I would let her go.

Oh, I just see the update.

Fucking hell I thought they were actually freinds. Christ. Drip feed award needed.

Also, OP, it doesn't have to be nine hours. You can get a direct train to Bangor that takes 3 and a quarter hours. Does that make it seem less far away?