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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there's a nice way to disagree with people on here?

151 replies

user1485424999 · 26/01/2017 10:54

I've posted a few AIBUs under another name. Sometimes it turns out I am being unreasonable. Which is good to know, after all it's why I asked the question.

Some people manage to communicate this very constructively, encouraging you to see it from the other person's perspective, sharing personal experience etc.

However some replies basically seem to take joy in tearing you down, being consescending/dismissive, not really adding anything to the discussion other than how ridiculous they think you are.

AIBU to think that if you disagree with someone, there's always still a respectful way to communicate that?

OP posts:
Manumission · 26/01/2017 12:54

I'm sure this is going exactly as OP intended 😂😙🍿

CaraAspen · 26/01/2017 12:56

If a man described you as a , how would you feel?

FizzBombBathTime · 26/01/2017 12:57

What, a star? I would be very happy

CaraAspen · 26/01/2017 12:58

FizzBombBathTime:

CaraAspen

If a man described you as a c *, how would you feel?

SumThucker · 26/01/2017 12:58

Fizz Grin

Puzzledandpissedoff · 26/01/2017 13:00

Well said OP Flowers

I completely get that some OPs can be frustrating, but is it really so hard to ask "have you considered ...?" rather than pile straight in with something that effectively says "you're stupid if you don't ..."?

A bit of kindness can go a long way

CaraAspen · 26/01/2017 13:00

Changing your name is unnecessary in this instance. Why has the OP done so, I wonder...

FizzBombBathTime · 26/01/2017 13:00

I would tell him watch your mouth young man, you know you were born out of one?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 26/01/2017 13:01

Fizz Grin post of the day, right there!

FizzBombBathTime · 26/01/2017 13:02
CaraAspen · 26/01/2017 13:05

"FizzBombBathTime

I would tell him watch your mouth young man, you know you were born out of one?"

Young man? Does that mean you are an older woman? That you should use such an unpleasant term, is doubly surprising, in that case.

user1484317265 · 26/01/2017 13:05

I DID say better than anyone here who has to resort to an oh-so-amusing vulgar username or tonthe copious use of the c word. Ugh

We don't HAVE to resort to saying cunt, we CHOOSE to. Big difference.
't

FizzBombBathTime · 26/01/2017 13:07

Cara my age is irrelevant.

You know people don't hit 50 and magically start wearing pearls and curtain twitching right?

FizzBombBathTime · 26/01/2017 13:08

Amen, user

Somevampsarehot · 26/01/2017 13:12

I've found the majority of comments to be helpful and fairly kind. I posted in aibu and the general consensus was that I was, and in retrospect I do agree. However there were a handful of people that seemed determined to tell me how awful I was even though I felt I was very open to any advice and opinion and clarified several times that I agreed with several points that were raised. Generally though people told me to stop being a tit in the nicest way!

CaraAspen · 26/01/2017 13:15

"user1484317265

I DID say better than anyone here who has to resort to an oh-so-amusing vulgar username or tonthe copious use of the c word. Ugh

We don't HAVE to resort to saying cunt, we CHOOSE to. Big difference.
't"

Well I really do think it's a last resort. As for choosing to use such terms (and I have only ever seen it - to this extent - on this site) might suggest the user has a limited vocabulary or is trying too hard to be what they imagine is funny or clever.

WorraLiberty · 26/01/2017 13:15

When we're on Mumsnet, we're all just posters.

As long as no-one is calling another poster a cunt, no-one is any better than anyone else.

Typing c.u.n.t or typing c* makes no difference imo.

Manumission · 26/01/2017 13:18

Im quite liking asterisk as a term of abuse Smile

SumThucker · 26/01/2017 13:19

Maybe you should ask yourself if this is the site for you then, Cara, if the use of the word cunt offends you so.

Or the fact you suggest the poster who chooses to use the word is of limited vocabulary, or imagining they are funny or clever. Hmm

CaraAspen · 26/01/2017 13:21

"WorraLiberty

When we're on Mumsnet, we're all just posters.

As long as no-one is calling another poster a cunt, no-one is any better than anyone else.

Typing c.u.n.t or typing c* makes no difference imo."

Just illustrating. I think you are aware of that, though. I do not use that word.

FizzBombBathTime · 26/01/2017 13:21

Sum she's disappeared, probably cleaning her * or summat

user1484317265 · 26/01/2017 13:21

Well I really do think it's a last resort. As for choosing to use such terms (and I have only ever seen it - to this extent - on this site) might suggest the user has a limited vocabulary or is trying too hard to be what they imagine is funny or clever

Wrong again. Sometimes its a first resort. And I can assure you I have an extensive vocabulary, I just happen to like fucking swearing!

To think there's a nice way to disagree with people on here?
FizzBombBathTime · 26/01/2017 13:21

Oh X post, it's all shiny and new!

CaraAspen · 26/01/2017 13:22

I like the site very much for the speed and the traffic. A former site I used - a well known education one - is dead in the water, these days.

PurpleDaisies · 26/01/2017 13:22

Isn't the : a better insult?
As in "you utter colon" as a alternative to arsehole?