To have kids before marriage?

[PandaEyes25]

I'm desperate to start TTC with my Partner of 7 years. Everything is pretty much spot on regarding timing as I am in a good job which will allow me to work flexibly, we have a good amount of savings and live in a nice area in our own house with a couple of spare bedrooms.

The only thing is, we are not married.
It's not the my OH doesn't believe in marriage. He says that we will get married at some point but I'm not sure if I want to bring a baby into the mix without having the stability marriage provides.

I'm just curious to see if other people agree with me that getting married first is definitely the right thing to do or if I'm just getting a bit hung up over it and that it's not worth putting off having children for.

If he is genuinely not avoiding marrying you then book a mid-week registry office and take two witnesses. Don't tell a soul if you don't want to. £212 in my registry office - all in.
Then crack on with the babies. If you want a wedding with the party/dress later then simply have a blessing, or renew vows.
In my horrific experience (actually best friends) men who want children but make excuses about marriage are not so committed . Best friend lived with her 'soulmate' for 24 yrs and 4 kids because he didn't 'believe' in marriage -until he married his 24yr old Latvian model 12 weeks after meeting... (he didn't have the inconvenience of a divorce to encumber him)
The is NO amount of legal agreements that provide the same degree of protection as marriage. - Wills/Life assurance/Co habitation agreements can all be cancelled/changed without the other partners knowledge.

Hm, I think some of us might have different definitions of security in these terms. Security could be financial, emotional, legal, about rights etc (beyond the legal scope). I remember discussing this with a friend of mine once, her "security" in being married was being the rightful owner of her husband's body if he died before her!

Holy bajaysus vix! What did she plan to do with it if you don't mind me asking?

We got married after our son was born. He was at the wedding and it was a wonderful day.

I think it can be different definitions and in particular different needs. There's no one size fits all. We can generalise about what's likely to be best for the majority of women, but that won't take into account individual circumstances and preferences.

Bloody hell vix at least I'm only in it for his pension!

I agree with Marilyn. Marriage is simply a way to obtain a certain defined set of legal rights and responsibilities with one swift stroke of the pen. Nothing more or less. If someone doesn't want to marry you then presumably they don't want to take on all of the rights and responsibilities of marriage - or at least they want to reserve the right to change their mind without consulting you - that is certainly the net effect. So it is worth asking why someone doesn't want to marry you if you are having children and would like to get married.

Parents who dial back on work or become full time minders for their children are especially vulnerable financially if the relationship fails and their is no marriage. as a previous poster described a significant chunk of family income could be going into a pension fund which is great if it all works out - not so great if it doesn't. The family unit is making an investment in the future which will only belong to one of them if it all goes south. And most of those parents are women. Some day maybe it will be 50/50 who stays home but right now it isn't.

Anyone who trusts a partner and/or his family to do the right thing by you when the relationship splits is nuts. I did family law for a number of years and I only saw one instance of a man wanting to do the right thing simply because it was better for his children. I saw multiple cases of the opposite.