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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Bus queue etiquette

51 replies

NettleCake · 23/01/2017 14:21

Cold day, lots of buses arriving at once, busy street. There was a queue at my bus-stand but no space to stand in it with pram (without blocking street) so I stood nearby. Because 2 others buses arrived first there was no space for my bus to stop in it's bay... so it stopped near me, doors opened. Some of people in queue slowly started to amble over. I boarded bus before they reached doors (I have pass so no holding anyone up). Elderly couple told me off for jumping the queue!

Did they really expect me to wait by the open doors, for everyone to slowly make their way over, and get on last instead of just getting on? Bus was empty so plenty of space.

I shrugged it off and said it made no difference who got on first, and told them not to be so silly, but they kept on.

AIBU to think they were petty? Or should I have waited?

OP posts:

FannyWisdom · 23/01/2017 14:22

You shoulda waited man.
You know the rules on queues.

alwaysthepessimist · 23/01/2017 14:30

I would have said 'you snooze you lose sucker' then worried about it and posted it on here afterwards ...silly sods, it's not your fault the bus stopped by you and you weren't being unreasonable in getting on it!

PlushVelvet · 23/01/2017 14:38

One day, OP you can only hope that you're old, and move slowly (because the alternative to growing old is not nice ). And you can hope that young things with nimbler feet give you space and tolerance for the time it takes you to move.

OTOH, I understand your predicament. What you have to do in such a situation is engage in a fairly elaborate pantomime of waiting for those before you in the queue to make their way over. I've done this - make eye contact with them, and make it obvious that you're waiting for them to board the bus - even a slight "Before you" gesture with your arm - smile etc. Then if they've got equally good manners & common sense, they'll either pretend to hurry up (it's hard when you're 75 & it's cold), or gesture for you to board first.

Yes it's a faff, but it might have saved you the understandable tutting.

AKinkAdmirer · 23/01/2017 14:39

Surely it would be slower for people who were not right next to the doors to get on first?

Batteriesallgone · 23/01/2017 14:40

They were being ridiculous. If there is clearly a queue then that is different but a number of buses makes a mockery of that. When it's busy boarding should be done in the most efficient manner - people closest getting on first

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 23/01/2017 14:42

I always think of that as a lucky bonus...long queue and the bus cannot get to the head of it then it's first come first served.

Civilisation is stuffed in this scenario!

If you'd been first and they'd been at the end they would not have waited for you and the buggy!

bumsexatthebingo · 23/01/2017 14:44

Yabu. You need to get on the bus in the order you arrive - queue or no queue. There is no real reason for it and I get that you didn't delay them getting on or anything but I agree with the pp that you need to wait for them to gesture you to get on first.
Did you sit in the last front seats with your pushchair as that might have annoyed them if they're not good on their feet?

youngestisapsycho · 23/01/2017 14:48

There are no 'queues' anymore are there? I can be the only person at the stop, and when the bus arrives there are about 8 more people popped up from nowhere and everyone just clambers on the bus... I'm usually the last on!

maamalady · 23/01/2017 14:54

Nah, YANBU in that situation. Normally you queue properly, naturally, but if the bus stops near you and there's masses of space and you're the only buggy/wheelchair, then getting on first does nobody any harm.

If there had been a wheelchair user or another buggy ahead of you in the queue; or there was limited space on the bus then obviously YWBU to go ahead.

TheNaze73 · 23/01/2017 14:57

YANBU. Right place, right time.

Manumission · 23/01/2017 14:57

I agree with the pp that you need to wait for them to gesture you to get on first.

Yes THAT^

You just need the little head nod and then you're okay

Please let us hang on to our pettifogging queuing etiquette. The world's going to shit (Trump, Farage, Porn, etc etc). Leave the queue rules be. They might be the only thing between us and societal chaos.

VladmirsPoutine · 23/01/2017 14:58

In the scenario you describe yanbu. You might have been U had you run up from the back of the queue yelling "Let me on you fuckers!!"

Lweji · 23/01/2017 15:00

Come and live in Portugal.
People with children, the elderly and disabled get priority pretty much everywhere. By law.

BusterTheBulldog · 23/01/2017 15:00

I see that situation as a bus bonus! Just one of those annoying things when inevitably next week when you are front of the official queue the bus stops at the back of the queue and those people get on first.

hmcAsWas · 23/01/2017 15:02

If there was a possibility of a full bus and some standing passengers they would have had a point, but given that the bus was easily going to accommodate everyone, they were being unreasonable

lovelearning · 23/01/2017 15:02

Nettlecake, it's bad manners, when you can see there is a queue, to jump it.

What you have to do in such a situation is engage in a fairly elaborate pantomime of waiting for those before you in the queue to make their way over. I've done this - make eye contact with them, and make it obvious that you're waiting for them to board the bus - even a slight "Before you" gesture with your arm - smile etc. Then if they've got equally good manners & common sense, they'll either pretend to hurry up (it's hard when you're 75 & it's cold), or gesture for you to board first.

PlushVelvet, elaborate pantomime.

scottishdiem · 23/01/2017 15:02

Did they really expect me to wait by the open doors, for everyone to slowly make their way over, and get on last instead of just getting on?

Fuck yes. Its rude to queue jump.

Mind you, where I am, the bus drivers done let you on until they are at the stop to pick up the old people who have been queuing and the bus stop.

Lweji · 23/01/2017 15:04

Unless the bus is almost full or there is a huge queue, it doesn't matter who gets in first, just as long as you let the elderly et al have a seat.

lovelearning · 23/01/2017 15:05

The world's going to shit (Trump, Farage, Porn

Original poster

NettleCake · 23/01/2017 15:06

Did you sit in the last front seats with your pushchair as that might have annoyed them if they're not good on their feet?

No, I sat on a fold-down seat with pram taking up the space of 2 fold-up seats (not wheelchair space or priority seats). Bus was empty and only about 8 people got on so plenty of seats.

Queues are confusing! On train platforms nobody queues and some bus stops it's the same, yet others have an orderly queue. I wasn't sure which queue was which as there were 3 buses at one bay.

I do think people should be more tolerant when there's a baby involved. I don't get the attitude 'you were 8th to arrive at bus stop so must be 8th to board despite bus doors opening in front of you'.

OP posts:

Manumission · 23/01/2017 15:08

love

I apologise for the juxtaposition of ideas there.

zozozoo · 23/01/2017 15:09

yanbu. when you have a buggy there's only one place to put it anyway. as long as you didn't then go and sit down before them thereby nicking their favoured seats...did you?

whatsthecomingoverthehill · 23/01/2017 15:10

Don't worry OP, the story of The Rude Woman With A Pram Who Pushed In will keep them going for conversation for at least a week.

CaraAspen · 23/01/2017 15:10

OP:
You should have let those who were before you in the queue in first. YABU

alltouchedout · 23/01/2017 15:13

You weren't at the front of the queue so you should have waited for them to let you on first (I bet they would have, it's the fact that you just got on that will have annoyed them). Not that it mattered much if the bus wasn't busy and there was plenty of room for everything, but it's the rules!

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