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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask my DH to stop posting such bolleux on sisal media!

119 replies

Boombah · 23/01/2017 13:49

It drives me fucking bananas.

He's almost 50 and behaving like a prat. Today was the final straw (I already unfriended him because he kept tagging me and posting personal photos of the DC and they were public). He also posts check ins I don't want 700 randoms knowing where we are at any given moment.

Today he posted that we were at hospital with a photo of my dd's IV. WTF

Seriously if I catch him gurning (so he can attempt a chiseled jaw one more time I will see red)

He does next to nothing- is a lazy shit and will only come out with us if he can do something exciting or arty to get about a dozen selfies which he posts. WHY?

rant over

OP posts:
ChicRock · 23/01/2017 15:33

I think you need a serous, non ranty chat with him, telling him you're concerned about his lack of self-esteem, his craving for attention and his outright lies - I'd do it in a "I think you might need some help" kind of way.

Because either he really does need help, or he's a massive gobshite.

TitaniasCloset · 23/01/2017 15:35

At first I thought yabu, and a bit snobby. But after reading the whole thing, him putting up terrible photos of you deliberately, lying about who cooked the dinner, well I think you have bigger problems than Facebook. He has a very strange attitude towards you and sounds like a twat.

IAmNotAUserNumber · 23/01/2017 15:49

I think he's trying to impress someone, someone in particular. Sad

Original poster
Boombah · 23/01/2017 16:03

I haven't been passive at all
Initially I posted in the comments section calling him out and hoping it'd at least be embarrassing enough for him to stop but it didn't
Then I had a massive go at him about privacy and got the eye rolls and told I post stuff as well (which I do with very good privacy controls- only my family can view)

I unfriend him and tell him not to do it again- friends who are on FB with him (who I don't think are his biggest fans) screenshot and send it to me

The time with the painting was a lighthearted text as I'd blown her out on a social occasion because I was decorating and she texted me " you cheeky cow your dh painted your home not you- you only had to say if you didn't want to come!"

He also posted the cocking waiting room with the kids when I got rushed to hospital last year! I'd forgotten about that one
Caption:
"Did NOT want to be here today"
Sad

He's a massive twat isn't he?

Thing is , everyone we know loves him socially. He's the soul of the party. I'm sure I must come across as the miserable, joyless happy-air thief 😖

OP posts:
Original poster
Boombah · 23/01/2017 16:04

Yes- impressing someone had crossed my mind

OP posts:
Msqueen33 · 23/01/2017 16:10

What a jerk! You're his wife and he should respect your feelings. Aside from his ridiculous Facebook antics what's he like as a husband? He doesn't seem very thoughtful at all.

Original poster
Boombah · 23/01/2017 16:18

MsQueen not brilliant

I don't really want to talk about it -it was the FB thing and the disregard for my feelings that I waned o rant about

It's made me feel pretty shit but I've had months of being told that I'm the one being unreasonable.

OP posts:
Msqueen33 · 23/01/2017 16:32

Sorry.

You're definitely not being unreasonable. I'd never post anything my dh didn't want. He's asked me before about posting things and I'd go ape if he posted private things.

IAmNotAUserNumber · 23/01/2017 16:33

Or if not "someone" in particular, he's the type of bloke who puts impressing outsiders above the needs of those nearest.

Original poster
Boombah · 23/01/2017 16:42

I would definitely agree with you there.

OP posts:
sonyaya · 23/01/2017 16:44

If it were harmless bollocks then I'd say just ignore it, it's up to him but he sounds like he is using this as a form of deliberately upsetting you. Not OK.

PickAChew · 23/01/2017 16:45

I'm guessing that his attitude to your complaints is an extension of the other problems you have? (No, you don't need to be specific, but I think I'm perfectly reasonable to assume that someone who is being such stubborn, gaslighting twat over this is capable of a multitude of twattery in a variety of situations.)

StrongerThanIThought76 · 23/01/2017 17:39

Insurance companies are increasingly declining claims from people who have been burgled if they're "checking in" away from home. Make sure you check the small print of your insurance policy t&C's to make sure his social media posts could be putting you at risk!

Original poster
Boombah · 23/01/2017 18:16

Stronger I've already told him this

It's not listened to. When we go away he's already checking in to th airport/lounges/photos on the plane. I know it's pathetic but as I keep irreplaceable stuff away from home when we go I do fantasise that we have a break in to stop all the bollocks

Ds(13) refuses to go out with him now as he says "why you'll just take photos of yourself"

FFS- cringe!

OP posts:
665TheNeighbourOfTheBeast · 23/01/2017 18:33

He's being unfaithful, just not with a person.

Original poster
Boombah · 23/01/2017 18:36

?

OP posts:
Guitargirl · 23/01/2017 18:44

He sounds awful OP. I would really struggle to find a man like that attractive. Does he have any good points?

CheshireDing · 23/01/2017 18:47

Does he not care that your DS doesn't want to go out with him now?

I think 665 means being unfaithful with fb as the offending party.

Hopefully it will pass, fx Hmm Fb is shit, nothing interesting going on there. I am so over it.

ohfourfoxache · 23/01/2017 18:54

Your ds sounds great- at 13 he's completely switched on, isn't he?

Could you do the same? I.e. Refuse to go anywhere with him?

engineersthumb · 23/01/2017 19:00

Just direct him to this thread, the shame should embarrass him enough to change.... though I admit I have developed a MN addiction!

Original poster
Boombah · 23/01/2017 19:03

I did direct him here

He's asked why on earth I'd listen to a bunch of strangers who don't know me or him Hmm

He says the ds is being a stroppy teen. I hate now that's he's so anti me getting out my camera but I at least now ask him if I can take a photo of us and 9/10 it's a yes.

Ds is wonderful.

He (Ds)does have his good points- he works hard at work and he is generous and at times quite spontaneously kind.

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 23/01/2017 19:04

So he's lying about who did the work, whose food it is, disrespecting your privacy and that of your DC. I echo pp, you need a serious sit down chat re how he makes you feel.

665TheNeighbourOfTheBeast · 23/01/2017 19:05

Yes I did Cheshire, all the conveniently forgotten promises because he's currently getting his jollies trolloping his life about on Facebook.

mumofthemonsters808 · 23/01/2017 19:06

He's not alone Op I have a fbook feed full of middle age men posting all sorts of nonsense. I tend to just scroll past because it's not really stuff I'm interested in, I bet the majority of your DH friends take little notice too.I do wonder how their wives feel when they are constantly liking photographs of different groups of females on nights out though, this is something I do notice, but that's just me.

Cherrysoup · 23/01/2017 19:06

You're listening to strangers because he isn't listening. You also get a variety of views, all of which so far say that he is in the wrong. We're objective, he's not.