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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask my DH to stop posting such bolleux on sisal media!

119 replies

Boombah · 23/01/2017 13:49

It drives me fucking bananas.

He's almost 50 and behaving like a prat. Today was the final straw (I already unfriended him because he kept tagging me and posting personal photos of the DC and they were public). He also posts check ins I don't want 700 randoms knowing where we are at any given moment.

Today he posted that we were at hospital with a photo of my dd's IV. WTF

Seriously if I catch him gurning (so he can attempt a chiseled jaw one more time I will see red)

He does next to nothing- is a lazy shit and will only come out with us if he can do something exciting or arty to get about a dozen selfies which he posts. WHY?

rant over

OP posts:
MycatsaPirate · 23/01/2017 14:21

Is that you Melania?

OnionKnight · 23/01/2017 14:22

MycatsaPirate

Grin
TheNaze73 · 23/01/2017 14:23

He sounds like an arse.

The people who do this on FB, who I've not unfollowed are all quite needy types, that appear to need constant head patting & reassurance. I find it all very odd.

ArriettyClock1 · 23/01/2017 14:25

He posts horrible photos of you? That is unforgivable and bloody unkind.

Next time around you need to marry an adult.

Thingvellir · 23/01/2017 14:27

Posting pics of your DC (and you if you dont want it) is absolutely unforgivable. I'd be dropping his devices down the loo personally if he didnt agree to stop

Original poster
Boombah · 23/01/2017 14:28

I don't care if he poses and takes photos of his cocktails and arty shots on works dos with booze and glamourous locations

I care that most of my home has been online as have photos of me looking quite vulnerable actually and the children doing things I regard as personal. I don't want some ex classmate of his from Kidderminster seeing my children open their xmas presents or knowing their personal medical history.

Ugh.

OP posts:
Sparkletastic · 23/01/2017 14:30

Get friends on FB to post comments querying everything that he is claiming as his own, or simply #oversharing.

Original poster
Boombah · 23/01/2017 14:32

Arriety yes absolutely he does and after he posted one of both of us together a few of his workmates tore into him a teased him about punching over his weight -

Then all of a sudden there were photos of me first thing in the morning - with my mouth half full eating etc. This was when I was on his friend's list and I would tell him to stop or correct t his lies
Then my comments would be deleted

Oh it's all coming out now. It's just so fake.

I am allergic to various foods and follow quite a strict healthy eating diet and he constantly posts photos of my supper and will pretend it's his stuff
"Buddah bowl- #eatingclean"

I'm cringing as I type.

OP posts:
paxillin · 23/01/2017 14:34

Re-friend him. Post "that is the roast dinner I cooked whilst monsignor was sitting on his posterior watching Bridget Jones. Comment under the artsy picture "this is the only thing he has done since last Wednesday unless you count watching Jeremy Kyle on loop".

CanadianJohn · 23/01/2017 14:34

I'm astonished (on a regular basis) that there are people who think the mundane details of their lives are share-worthy. There ain't nothin' in my life that I would share with anybody, let alone with the whole world.

My daughter posted on Facebook, at 6.00 am "Ah, coffee, I can't face the world without it" and I'm thinking, yes, but why do you have to tell everyone, in writing? At 6.00 am?

Msqueen33 · 23/01/2017 14:37

I'd probably be tempted to smash his phone. Honestly what an utter twat. Could you report his Facebook account to fb? Jeez. I have no pictures of my kids on fb and barely post anything. Some people check in to the hospital and I cannot under why. I'm mid 30s yet still don't get the whole social media shit.

Original poster
Boombah · 23/01/2017 14:37

Paxillin are you me? This is exactly what I used to do- then he'd delete my comment

I have two friends who tell me and laugh at him -and post screenshots
Mind you he's so lax still about privacy you can see most of the posts anyway.

The more I type the more annoyed I get

OP posts:
ArriettyClock1 · 23/01/2017 14:38

Having given it a bit of thought - perhaps he needs sympathy and maybe therapy?

If he feels it necessary to portray a fake life, he is obviously massively insecure. He had a shit time growing up - I think he might need help to work through his issues. I don't get the putting you down stuff though.

BrowsOnFleek · 23/01/2017 14:41

Is he really just oblivious to how it makes you feel? Clutching at straws here but recently seen a post on fb, where a proud dad posted a photo of his newborn. Only problem was newborn was completely naked with legs in the air, few hours later photo was replaced with the baby in clothing! He obviously hadn't realised in his excitement.

Does sound a bit mid life crisis through - getting in on the insta clean eating movement..

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 23/01/2017 14:41

I have FB friends who document every minute detail of their lives this way. Thankfully, none of them are my DH.

I do find it a bit concerning that you say he's posting the worst possible pictures of you - but always looking to take a "chiselled" photo of himself to post. That would make me ask "who are you trying to impress?"

Is he doing it for likes? Does he need to have other people's constant approval?

It is odd for a grown adult TBH.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 23/01/2017 14:45

Or maybe you need this....

To ask my DH to stop posting such bolleux on sisal media!
TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 23/01/2017 14:54

can you hack his facebook and change the password....then fake up an email?

Dear Mr Boombah

We have noticed you are oversharing, posting too many photos and actually appear not to be the type of person we want as a representative of our Facebook community
We have therefore removed your access to our site.

Hugs and Kisses
Mark Zuckerberg

That should put a crimp in his online activities.

Bushymuffmum · 23/01/2017 14:55

Myself and thankfully dh absolutely hate social media and are very disparaging about it.
I happen to believe people like your dh are massively insecure.

PickAChew · 23/01/2017 14:56

He sounds like a right fucking muppet and he has no respect for your boundaries or privacy at all, does he?

I'd lay the law down in just the same way as you would with a teenager who was being so irresponsible. If he wants his 15 minutes of being the centre of attention, he can apply to be on Big brother. It's not fair for him to drag you and your kids into his lies and bluster, without your consent, though.

StripeyCover · 23/01/2017 14:57

Just wondering ... have you had a serious talk with him about this? Plus I don't think its really "normal" if thats the word, to post photos of your other half looking rough or vulnerable on your FB account, without their permission, its a weird kind of invasion of privacy.

StripeyCover · 23/01/2017 14:58

he has no respect for your boundaries or privacy at all, does he?

^ and this.

Bushymuffmum · 23/01/2017 15:05

It does sound a bit trivial to say it's worth breaking up over Facebook but it's actually a lot more than that, he is breaching both your and your dh's privacy and trust. He clearly has no respect for you and the approval of his Facebook friends means more to him than your happiness.
For it to work I think u both need to go cold turkey (if you post responses to his shit you're as bad as him Imo). Just have a serious sit down chat and tell him how upsetting it is for you and it needs to stop right away. Close down the accounts and that's it. If he values your relationship,it shouldn't be that difficult surely?
A few of my friends are obsessed with Facebook also and have posted photos of us when we go out in the past. We went out recently and one friend took a few photos, I specifically said "don't post any of me on social media thanks" - they know my feelings regarding it. So u Can imagine my anger when I was then shown a photo of myself on Facebook by my auntie (who unfortunately also participates in it).
I've lost all respect for this friend. I think she's either an absolutely self-obsessed, conniving bitch or just so concerned about showing her Facebook 'friends' her fab night out that she doesn't give a damn about her 'real' friends feelings.

HyacinthsBucket · 23/01/2017 15:06

Re-friend him, and then every time he puts up a photo you don't like report it so it gets removed. He'll soon get the hint.....it's what our DDs do to my DH when he does it Grin

DaisyDanzel · 23/01/2017 15:13

You don't think there's someone on his friends list that he's trying to impress specifically?

Can't believe his behaviour at that age. Does he not realise that no-one gives a toss? I don't think I have ever once properly looked at a picture that someone has posted of their dinner.

Topseyt · 23/01/2017 15:25

He sounds like an arse with no sense of boundaries.

He shouldn't be posting photos if he hasn't made 100% sure that those in them are happy for them to be splashed onto FB.

Photos of your DD in hospital on an IV drip are an invasion of her privacy. I would be telling him that in no uncertain terms. Same for photos of you in any vulnerable or less than flattering situation. Tell him. Loud and long, every single time.

If he doesn't rein it in then, then that shows total disrespect. His phone might "accidentally" get into the washing machine the next time he left it in his pocket, or meet with some other such accident.