To think this is not my responsibility

[showcropper]

Just had a big argument with dh about this and need some perspective, will try to keep it as brief as possible.

Dmil has spoken to dh about being upset that she doesn't hear from us much, and that I never call her. Dh has come home and said he thinks it's really nasty of me to not call her more and I have really upset her.

The thing is HE never calls either! I call my dm at leat twice a week to catch up just because I like to talk to her. I honestly never think to call mil as I'm not sure what I would say. She is not awful by any stretch, we just don't have much in common, and I find her a bit awkward.

My response to him was to ask when the last time was he called my mum or dad for a chat? (answer was never) and that I think maybe HE should call his mum more.

Anyway he has gone off in a huff now, but I think that he thinks (and dmil thinks) just because I am female, I should do the chatting/organising visits.

[BitOutOfPractice]

So not only does he expect you be the one communicating with his family, he also refuses to be involved with childcare. Yet you say he's not sexist?

[mainlywingingit]

I think he owes you
An apology for saying you were "nasty" for not phoning his Mother. He has
Got the massive guilts obviously, it seems
Maybe it hit home. Do you have children? Could he not facetime once a week over a meal at the weekend and or a bath on say a Sunday?

He needs a set time to call her. But he should apologise really.

[ChippingInLovesWoollyHugs]

My response; Firstly your dm is more than welcome to see the dcs whenever she wants to please take them away so I can drink/sleep

Secondly dh, I would love it if you got more involved with the childcare/ dc dailiy logistics. So problem solved!

Well done 💐🍷. Excellent response especially when you weren't expecting the conversation! Extremely well done!

What did the eejit say to that!

[squeak10]

I ring my mil as we both appreciate a good chat, her son is crap at ringing and doesn't pass as much info as me. Mind you it took a few years for us to get this farl

[haveacupoftea]

YANBU. You have a mum of your own. I never ring MIL, havent even got her number.

[rollonthesummer]

He's being utterly ridiculous and so is your mother in law.

Did he have a good reason why he shouldn't have to call his mum but you should? Does he agree that he should ring your parents regularly for a chat?


He's being a bellend and hopefully he realises it now .

[LivingOnTheDancefloor]

Haha MIL tried this with me when SIL (DH's sister) asked DH to be godfather to DN, MIL took me apart to tell me that she was counting on me to make sure DH calls DN, doesn't forget his birthday, etc.
I just nodded... and laughed about it with DH afterwards.